To frown on an untidy house

[allinadaystwerk]

My house is not a haven of organised domestic bliss by any means, I have messy corners and cupboards and all that stuff. And some days are much better than others. But I visited someone I've known a while for the 1st time
and was shocked at the state of the house. It was not dirty or smelly. Washing up was done and toilet was clean. But there was clothes everywhere! And clutter and paperwork, letters leaflets and general stuff just not put away, shoes were left in the living room and piles upon piles of laundry. Everywhere I looked there was stuff and an untidy mess. Clearlyvot had been this way for some time. I felt quite sad but also kind of disgruntled. I wanted them to do better but had to have a word with myself and find my way to not being a judgy cow. Thing is, if im honest, a bit of me still feels a bit disgruntled and frustrated.. I'll most likely be asked to the home again as we get on very well and of course a messy home is no reason to ruin a friendship. Question is am I being unreasonable to feel like this? .

So, people who live in tidy houses are less interesting? What a weird way to judge people. My friends are tidy and interesting, and my family are untidy and interesting.

What kind of fruit loop are you. I love cleaning and hate clutter. Couldn’t give a fudge what other people houses are like.

“Disgruntled” About somebody else’s house. 😂🤪

I agree!!!

Im very tempted to empty out every drawer & wardrobe in the house, to prevent the OP from coming here.

'I want them to do better' how fucking patronising & arrogant.

Obvious 'goady fucker' is obvious. 😂

You are being unreasonable of course. I enjoy living in a cluttered environment having been raised by a neat freak. However I do understand being uncomfortable when in a house that does not comply to your comfort level.

Tbh I do not have a tidy house and it probably needs a thorough clean!

My mum's house is like a show house - clean and tidy. I find visiting her quite stressful.

Having said that, I work as a dog walker and sometimes do house sitting.

One of my clients has a house that is really filthy.

Cat trays in the kitchen with dirty litter and faeces spread around and every surface is sticky and grotty.

I will not be house sitting for her😞

@MyStarHasGone I’m the opposite, I have ASD and can’t stand mess, my house has to look like a show home or I can’t cope, it’s worth remembering that as OP could also be ND and not cope with clutter/mess.

YABU. Think you've just been to my house.

4 people live here. 1 of them is constantly buying stuff and never gets rid of anything, except under extreme duress. He is currently putting a record player and his records in the loft because DD has organized a charity to take them away. Thing is, in the 20+ years I have known him, he has never played a record.

I have just asked him to put his tools away - There was an open Stanley knife, a screwdriver and a pair of pliers on the floor. They had been there since about Wednesday.

Who are you the Queen a' bloody Sheba?!

I wanted them to do better

Seriously ?

I really hope she recognises you and decides never to invite you back.

We have a lived in look ,a dog and lots of bits everywhere. Suits us to relax

"I wanted them to do better":) Who thinks like this? You need a hobby.

Thinking 'Wow their house is really untidy. I couldn't live like that!' - a bit judgy but tbh perfectly normal reaction.

Being 'disgruntled and frustrated' and feeling you want them to 'do better' - really weird reaction. Almost as though you're disappointed that they don't come up to the standards you require in a friend.

I’m a clean freak but in no way do I hold other people to my standard. Everyone’s different

Exactly this!
My house was as the Op described after I’d broken up with my ex, a good friend of mine came round one day when I was at work (she had a spare key) and literally cleared it all up for me. I have never been so grateful for a friend like that.

How utterly superficial. You'd hate my house. Mind you, I probably couldn't be friends with you for long so you'd run very little risk of being invited anyway.

Sounds a bit like our house, only we don't have the piles of laundry.

Most of the paperwork mess is that DH refuses to have anyone else touch his paperwork, but will never put it away!

I keep telling myself I should socialise more but then someone like you posts something like this.....

i wouldn’t want a friend like you.

@iklboo 🤣
Loving your post 😄

Can't quite see what a journo or troll will be getting from this show of female solidarity for a less than Homes & Gardens lounge though 🤔

‘Disgruntled’ and ‘frustrated’ seem like really weird reactions to have to someone else’s house. Why on earth would you have those particular feelings?

I don't understand how you can have a clean but untidy house.

If there is stuff everywhere, how do you clean underneath? Unless you lift everything off the surfaces regularly to clean underneath and then put them all back down again. Bet that never happens.

An untidy house is by definition unclean. Unless by clean, you mean no poo, spillage or stains everywhere, which is a pretty low threshold for defining 'clean'.

I’m with you OP. People are being a bit harsh but sitting amidst clutter is stressful and not at all relaxing

I think lots of people are being mean to the OP. I wish I was neater and tidier but I'm terribly shambolic. I just can't get it together. Everyone is different, I just wish someone could teach me to be orderly.