To frown on an untidy house

[allinadaystwerk]

My house is not a haven of organised domestic bliss by any means, I have messy corners and cupboards and all that stuff. And some days are much better than others. But I visited someone I've known a while for the 1st time
and was shocked at the state of the house. It was not dirty or smelly. Washing up was done and toilet was clean. But there was clothes everywhere! And clutter and paperwork, letters leaflets and general stuff just not put away, shoes were left in the living room and piles upon piles of laundry. Everywhere I looked there was stuff and an untidy mess. Clearlyvot had been this way for some time. I felt quite sad but also kind of disgruntled. I wanted them to do better but had to have a word with myself and find my way to not being a judgy cow. Thing is, if im honest, a bit of me still feels a bit disgruntled and frustrated.. I'll most likely be asked to the home again as we get on very well and of course a messy home is no reason to ruin a friendship. Question is am I being unreasonable to feel like this? .

Oooooh. Troll thread.

Is this a joke?

I’m sure you can hire someone to help you with a graphic rendering of your options if that’s what you’re looking for.

Congrats on being so personally excellent, OP.

Get over yourself. Maybe your friend "frowns on" your shallow values.

Is that you mother?

I wouldn't want you as my friend. Yabu and very judgemental

Then you'd hate my house! 😂There's still 3 binbags of clothes in the corner of the living room, that I meant to take to a clothes bank... ooohhh... 3 weeks ago.

You probably gave yourself away. Judgmental people always do.

Why are we the tidy people always in the wrong whenever this subject comes up. We are always being told that we have to accept that living in a tip is fine but wanting to live and visit a tidy clean home you are made to look like the spawn of the devil.

That's what my house is like if I don't keep on top of it all day long, but that's my job. Does the person work as well as responsible for all the chores? That's how houses end up like that.

But to let it get to YOU that THEIR home is that way?

Ain't nobody got time for that.

YOU felt disgruntled about THEIR house?!

FFS

Who cares? I'm happy to be devil spawn on my sofa in my immaculate lounge with a glass of wine home educating my daughter in a vegan family.

Let people seethe.

Christ. You’d hate our house. It’s clean but untidy. I do tend to have a mad whizz round if we’re expecting visitors.

YANBU
When I was younger no, but now yes.
I hate slobs/laziness so it would make me look at her a bit differently.

I cant stand mess and clutter either as it makes me feel anxious but you sound, frankly, really unpleasant. Sure, you might not want your home to be like that but to end a friendship over it?- thats the most petty, juvenile and ridiculous thing ive heard in ages

Why would you be disgruntled. How bizarre

Glad you’re not my ‘friend’. What a horribly judgemental attitude. If you came to my house without notice, it would be embarrassingly messy. If you told me you were coming, I’d spend a very stressful few hours (yes, really) tidying up, ie hiding stuff, which will then be forgotten about and may or may not cause problems further down the line. I struggle with trying to keep on top of things. But then I strongly suspect I have ADHD. Posts like this just make me feel even worse.

I like a tidy house too but you are not her friend and I hope she realizes this very soon and drops you. You are a frenemy who likes to talk about her behind her back.

I'm glad you're not my friend! I'm Neuro Divergent and CANNOT keep a tidy house. Lack of Executive Functioning Skills you know. Many people I know like this keep all those but the trusted few OUT of our homes for fear of the judgemental attitudes you have just shown. Sad, perhaps your friend had included you in the trusted few.

Not giving a ND diagnosis over the internet but it's worth considering.

Sounds like you were at my house OP

this made me so sad because I try SO FUCKING HARD but it’s still like this. I try to reassure myself that no one’s judging me, yet here you are. Sob.

Wear your judgey pant & matching hoiky bosom bra next time you go, won't you? Maybe pick up a bag of grips on the way.

Why would you feel disgruntled and frustrated? That makes zero sense and I'm wondering if you actually know what those words mean.

I wouldn’t have been able to stay in a house that messy, I really can’t cope with mess and clutter it causes me extreme stress and always has, I was obsessed with having my room organised in a very specific way from a young age but we are all different.
I’d just arrange to visit them outside or in my home instead but again I know my issues around this are personal to me, my whole family get fed up with me and tell me a house needs to look lived in!

“There was clothes everywhere!”

Not sure she’d want to be friends with someone who hasn’t a grasp of basic grammar.

See how that works, Op?