Rude Comments About Shopping

[dottiedodah]

3 adults plus DS at WE.Had reasonable amount for us ,and the week ahead .An old chap smiled behind me ,I smiled back .He then commented re amount saying " You dont have to buy the whole shop you know ,leave something for the rest of us!" I muttered a comment and felt annoyed and embarrassed .Had just general meals for Dinners, plus Bread ,sandwich fillings etc plus Loo rolls ,washing liquid and so on .No Alcohol or huge joints of Beef!

He just wanted to engage with you in a friendly jokey chat. I was at the supermarket with DD the other day, she was pushing the trolley and an old man stopped the trolley, made a joke an out women drivers and gave a big smiley laugh then ruffled her hair. It wasn't the most PC of interactions, I then ended up having to explain to DD why women drivers was a joke and why the man had touched her head, but 8 don't believe there was any malice or Ill intent in it.

erikBloodaxe Yes thats the problem. I think Im maybe a bit sensitive here .I often have staff saying something similar, and it has made me a bit embarrassed .Obv need a thicker skin! I think maybe more people buying smaller amounts daily maybe makes mine look loads!

It's a conversational gambit.
I'd have smiled and said something as original as '"Teenagers' appetites, eh! Not sure where that put it all." In your situation I may have mentioned visitors and not wanting to be left being polite over the last potato.

Honestly I miss these conversations now I live in a very "polite" place. I'm not lonely and so looking for conversation, I was just brought up to interact with randoms as a habit.

The staff are also making small talk, goodness gracious me.

There is being thin skinned and then there is this absolute lunacy.

Yes, the correct response to that is to make a lighthearted response like 'I can't wait until they all leave home, they're costing me a fortune'.

Just chit chat, not rude or serious.

I'm actually quieter than the average and go for long periods happy in my own company so I do put it down to early socialisation.
I also totally curb myself where I live know as I hate to make people like you feel uncomfortable op.

Don't give it any more thought. When my DC were children (still had a massive amount of shopping) I'd laugh and say " I know, I might have to sell one of the children to pay for next week's" or something similar. No one is really judging you honest.

I get these comments all the time op. We’re a family of 5 with lots of pets, and I absolutely hate shopping so tend to only go every 3 or 4 weeks. This means me spending £200-£300 a time which is a hell of a lot of food in Aldi. I just smile and respond with ‘I have a lot of mouths to feed’ :)

A checkout lady on the tills once said to me ' you obviously have a family to feed !'
It was a trolley full , but there were four of us at that time and the cupboards at home were bare after a few weeks of not doing a bigger shop !
I just laughed it off , but now there are only two of us I don't buy as much.

Oooh the horror! Someone mentioned something about your food! 😱😱

Get a posse of Mumsnetters after him to beat him with a french stick.

Just shop online then no one will comment

Always amazed by the people who claim lots of people remark on their shopping. My trolley used to be full to overflowing and nobody ever remarked on it - or perhaps they did and I have just forgotten, like 2 minutes after it was said.

Nice to know Im not the only one! Im not usually sensitive ,but just lots of comments lately for some reason . I shall try to laugh it off in future !

Just conversation - my dad does it because he's trying to cope with being alone, my mum is in a care home and he's lonely and it might be the only face to face chat he has all day
Although he wouldn't speak to a woman on her own, it'll be a man or family

You probably live in an area where small talk isn't the done thing any more.

And don't forget all the 'sneering' cashiers and customers. I'm disappointed they don't feature here 😁

I very much doubt he meant to be offensive tbh

Side note :
I'd love a proper study of UK small talk to know of it is diminishing or just variable by area.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

He may have been making small talk but I wonder how often that leads to a longer chat and interesting interaction for him if that's his approach.

NAMALT but there is a tiresome number of people who only want to make negging remarks and would be very gratified that so many women here are criticising another woman who had a flash of irritation at the remark.

Maybe he was feeling poor that week and couldnt afford as much as usual so was triggered by your shopping and felt jealous and resentful. YANBU. Iike the use of 'okay, random man' in these situations as his comment was neither asked for nor funny. He should try and put himself in the shoes of people in war zones who have limited access to supplies as there was plenty left on the shelves for him.

The people defending him must have annoying fathers, sons and husbands like him who make equally annoying comments.

It was literally a joke😂

It’s one thing to find something not funny and be slightly annoyed and a whole other thing to come and bring it to MN. It definitely isn’t that deep

I honestly think we've now got to a point in society that we need to stop talking to each other altogether. Everyone seems to be permanently offended and annoyed by what comes out of other people's mouths so it's time to give up talking I think. Referring to a bald head is apparently sexual harassment, it's insulting to say a small child is small, and now it's the height of rudeness for a man to make a joke about some food. Let's just call it a day and live in silence.

Very much this.
People seem to have forgotten how to engage with each other.

Lemongreentea Thank you .I felt it was said in a kind of sarky way .Not really a joke .I do think men get a free pass to say annoying comments too . Obv not losing any sleep over it ,but just irritating .