To understand not wanting to be involved

[CandyApplePie]

In this situation.....Probably get flamed for this but anyway

I am on another site where a woman has had a baby from a one night stand (this is what he has referred to her as) they met once and she fell pregnant and kept the baby, he doesn't want to be involved and expressed that to her from the beginning. She kept the baby and is now pursuing him for child maintenance. The man is angry and telling her she was just a one night stand and to go away and that he wants nothing to do with the baby, he is saying he used a condom (she says they didn't) so it's not his baby, they are going to be doing a dna test but he is insisting the child is nothing to do with him. All the comments are along the lines of "how can he just walk away" "how can he want nothing to do with the child" "babies are a blessing" "having a child is the most amazing experience" but aibu to understand why someone wouldn't want to be tied to a stranger for the rest of their lives? Maintenance is a separate issue but I can understand why a man wouldn't want to be involved in raising the child, he is insisting he did use a condom she says they didn't so no one really knows the truth their apart from the two of them.

YABU. Once you have fathered a child, whether you meant to or not, that child exists in the world and it is time to step up and be a parent to that child.

The child should not suffer or lose out. Its a time to stop centring yourself and centre the child that is your and you were actively involved in creating.

Agree totally with this!!

They
can
CHOOSE
to get
an
abortion.

From my previous reply:

“because it’s apparent that he has no intention of helping raise it beyond paying child support.“

I think it’s fair enough that he pays child support, I don’t think he needs to do more than that though.

For his own kid?

Yes.

Posted too soon.

Yes. In the same way I wouldn’t have been willing to do more than that had I been denied access to abortion or adoption.

Its the complete absence on the child in this 'consideration' that sickens me.

That child exists. Once its born you have a responsibility to YOUR OWN CHILD to step up and parent.

No, they can’t force him to parent.

But the government can force him to pay for the child he chose to create.

Completely this!

Of course they cannot, and don't.

Pumperthepumper so the woman has no responsibility to take any precautions not to get pregnant but the man should never have sex unless he wants to produce a baby or be sterilised. OK then. Now imagine that with genders reversed. Sickening.

So what’s your end dream? Forced abortions?

We don’t have to reverse the genders. It would still mean that only one of them can carry a baby, so only that one would have the choice.

OR not ejaculating in women you don’t want to impregnate.

No one has argued for that, as you well know.

What then? If you think it’s so unfair that men can’t just ejaculate wherever they like (while still claiming they don’t want babies!), what would you like to see happen instead?

And him?