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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Straightening a young child's hair

155 replies

LovingGrandma · 14/05/2022 23:39

My daughter -in-law has straightened my six year old granddaughter's hair in at least three occasions. I feel really uncomfortable about this on so many levels, but mainly I am concerned that she will cause permanent damage to her hair. I have tried gently to point this out to her, but she is completely disregarding what I have said. I feel really sad about it, and bad that I can't protect my granddaughter. I would welcome the thoughts of mums with children of a similar age. Am I being silly? But most of all thank you for allowing me to get this off my chest.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 14/05/2022 23:41

Yes YABU. This is really none of your business.

Testina · 14/05/2022 23:43

You know that hair is dead, and it grows, right? So what’s your concern about “permanent” damage?
Do you have a particular concern because of hair type - like type 3c for example?
Otherwise… it’s perfectly normal to mess about with kids’ hair. Straightening, adding curls, letting it dry in plaits for waves…
Your son is happy with it - stop worrying!

Testina · 14/05/2022 23:45

“I have tried gently to point this out to her, but she is completely disregarding what I have said. I feel really sad about it, and bad that I can't protect my granddaughter.”

Protect?
You're lucky she’s just disregarding your interference and not have strong words with you!!

Fromthebirdsnest · 14/05/2022 23:47

You are being absolutely unreasonable and I'm glad your not my mil ! You know its her daughter not yours right? Protect her ? From a pair of straightners ? How ridiculous 🙄

EmeraldShamrock1 · 14/05/2022 23:49

Yabu.

user1473878824 · 14/05/2022 23:50

Ffs come on. Do you really all think it’s fine to straighten a child’s hair? That’s so depressing.

drpet49 · 14/05/2022 23:51

Poor kid will probably end up wearing make up soon enough.

titchy · 14/05/2022 23:51

user1473878824 · 14/05/2022 23:50

Ffs come on. Do you really all think it’s fine to straighten a child’s hair? That’s so depressing.

Why ain't it? Confused

thaegumathteth · 14/05/2022 23:51

She won't permanently damage it. My daughters occasionally had her hair straightened and temporarily dyed, I really don't see the issue. She's also had her face painted and temporary tattoos - how is it any different?

AnElegantChaos · 14/05/2022 23:52

Protect her from what though? Three times is hardly going to give her hair like shredded wheat.

If I pointed this out to my daughter about my gd who is similar age to yours, she would quite rightly tell me where to stick my beak.

PumpkinsandKittens · 14/05/2022 23:53

Whilst I wouldn’t do it personally it’s also none of your business

WhackingPhoenix · 14/05/2022 23:53
  1. Not your child
  2. Straightening won’t permanently damage hair
  3. Kid might have had nits. I used to straighten my sister’s hair when she was little because she always had bloody nits! Hair full of Hedrin, comb out the lice, rinse then straighten it to kill the eggs.
UndertheCedartree · 14/05/2022 23:53

I have occasionally straightened my DDs hair from about age 8. I'm not sure what permanent damage it can do? Hair just grows and is cut off!

@user1473878824 - it's normal for kids to want to play around with their hair and dress up etc. What's depressing about that?

Veryverycalmnow · 14/05/2022 23:54

I think it's a bit odd to straighten a child's hair, but what's far worse is thinking it is your place to say something to her mother about it. Try keeping your beak out.

WhackingPhoenix · 14/05/2022 23:55

WhackingPhoenix · 14/05/2022 23:53

  1. Not your child
  2. Straightening won’t permanently damage hair
  3. Kid might have had nits. I used to straighten my sister’s hair when she was little because she always had bloody nits! Hair full of Hedrin, comb out the lice, rinse then straighten it to kill the eggs.

I hasten to add she’s now an adult with beautiful, long hair and no physical or psychological damage from her childhood experiences with a pair of ghds 😉

narcdad · 14/05/2022 23:55

I've straightened my dd's hair once or twice, she's also 6, she asked me as she hardly has hair, it's very short and wavy.

Wouldn't be something I do regularly, but it made her so happy so YABU

Namechanger355 · 14/05/2022 23:56

i think straightening hair at such a young age is really strange - it’s not about the damage but about wanting to change them.

my daughter has wavy hair and id much rather she embraces that than tries to change it to fit in a perceived ideal

rainbowlou · 14/05/2022 23:56

What are you wanting to protect her from?

NannyR · 14/05/2022 23:58

I can't see any problem with it, as long as it's just for fun and not an everyday thing. I have dead straight hair and at that age my mum used to curl it for me for parties and special occasions - isn't that just the same thng as a child with curly or wavy hair wanting to try out straight hair occasionally.

Mrsteapot42 · 14/05/2022 23:58

How is it being straightened? With straightners? Chemical straightening? Blow dry? Rollers?

There is more than one way to straighten hair, not all of it necessarily 'bad'. I wouldn't be using straighteners on my kids hair, more because I wouldn't want them to scald themselves.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 14/05/2022 23:58

If it is an occasional thing it won't do her any harm.

Greatoutdoors · 14/05/2022 23:59

I’ve straightened my hair most days for 20 odd years. Its still as strong as ever.
I don’t think a couple of times is cause for intervention. What are you worried about? Is it the excessive grooming or the hair itself?

TimmyHos · 15/05/2022 00:00

I've straightened my 6 year oldest hair. She asked me to do it after she saw someone else with curly hair do it, and it was fun to see what she looked liked with different hair. I don't think it's a big deal to do it now and then.

SkankingWombat · 15/05/2022 00:01

3 times in 6 years? Really? MYOB, it really isn't worth damaging your relationship with her over.

FWIW, my mum used to crimp my hair at a similar age, and did it many more than 3 times. At least with straightening your DGD doesn't look like she's stuck her fingers in a plug socket! (Despite being a willing participant, I am very glad no photographic evidence appears to have survived...) No damage was done in either the short or long term!

SpaceJamtart · 15/05/2022 00:02

Yabu, from the dramatics you're putting on I thought the child was a baby or she was straightening it daily.
Would you also be so scandalised if she was blow drying the kids hair?

Its just a fun thing to do sometimes, like wearing a flower crown or a tiara, If her mum does her own hair that way she might even have heat protectant spray. But either way, three times is going to do no damage.

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