Which part of this is enjoyable then, folks?

[Whichpart]

Hey

which part of this is enjoyable? I am sick of hearing ‘enjoy every second’ ‘ they’re only young once’ ‘ don’t wish it away’ etc…

So which part of this am I meant to be enjoying?

the scramming?
the screaming?
the crying/whining?
the constant illnesses from nursery?
the shit?
the piss on the floor 20 seconds after they run away with no nappy?
the going to sleep at ten and waking every hour until they’re back up for the day at 5?
the 4am poo explosion?
the hair pulling?
the fighting with each other over toys?
the battles at bedtime?
the struggle to get them changed as they wriggle around and try to escape?
the fingers up my nose?
the grabbing my nipple as they try and climb me?

whoch part of this is everyone enjoying and looking back wishing they still had it?

AIBU to say that people either didn’t experience this absolute shit show OR their brain has forgotten it so that the species can continue pro creating??

@Clymene loving your assumptions, I work full time.

In all honesty I think you get what you expect to some extent. My mindset was that this is what happens with very young children and actually my youngest has sensory issues which have improved but was upset over things I couldn't change like shoes which were fine one day unbearable the next, running out of school due to the noise when she was 4. But I adored those years and the way they looked to you to enrich their lives. We did little plays, Julia Donaldson song books were their favourite and music sessions, all very chaotic but adorable and I definitely had days were it was very challenging but they are small people not developed adults and that is how I would approach those issues.

You sound kinda grumpy and negative. Let everyone say what they want about their experience of parenthood. Nothing in life is perfect.

I have enjoyed every second of motherhood and continue to do so. "Sorry" if that offends anyone.

I do have a genuine question here though : Why do so many people have a child (often multiple children) when they don't even seem to LIKE children? Pnd aside, there are mothers on this thread who talk about their children as if they almost despise them or regret them. If that is the case, why have children at all - and in many cases continue to do so? Nobody HAS to have children. People seem bemused or annoyed when they discover that babies cry and need their nappies changing or that toddlers can have disrupted sleep patterns and so on. You don't need a manual on parenting to know these things. If mothers are genuinely shocked to discover that babies and children need looking after for years (in different ways) maybe there should be education in schools about actually raising children. So many people seem to have a baby as a default then spend years moaning about it almost viewing their children as a nuisance.

I mean it wasn’t all a bed of roses but I definitely did enjoy it and I cherished the years they were young. Will not apologise for that. Reminds me of the wine o clock mums on social media, seems to be a competition these days about who hates motherhood the most.

@Bbq1 this is totally going away from the thread but - it’s not as easy as saying ‘why do people have them’ and ‘didn’t they know’ there is no way of knowing HOW you will cope with your particular child. There is no way of knowing what personality your child will have. Whether they will have issues with sleep. Things change, phases come and go. Would you say to a parent of teens who was struggling to cope with them ‘why did you have two then’ how the fuck are they meant to know what their two teenagers will be like as adolescents?

‘why did you have them’ is a, quite frankly, idiotic and ill thought out question

@Whichpart

Mine are going through the teen/tween stage now. It is hard, but it is great too. They’re more independent and the conversations are more stimulating.

I sometimes feel sorry for myself with the graft that is raising teens, and it’s a lot more graft than their toddler years but then I snap out of it. No point wallowing is there unless you decide to put them up for adoption? 🤦‍♀️. Perhaps the comments are just from well meaning people who look back on those years and realise that bigger kids come with bigger problems so whilst it is hard work, just enjoy the simplicity whilst you can.

I don’t see any reason to get offended by the enjoy every minute brigade. I mean I’m personally not one of those people as I acknowledge children are hard full stop no matter what age they are, but like I said no point in wallowing in it.

Kids pick up on that.

The joy, the cuteness, the intense love, their giggles, the toddler kisses, the funny things they do and the banal things they find funny, the pride of watching them learn new things, the amazing cuddles, hearing "mama" said with such pure love...

I have an 18 month old and can't say nappies have ever bothered me. Yes, I'm tired, but oh my gosh the intense love and joy I feel every day because of him is the best thing I've ever experienced.

Perhaps you should just give them up for adoption then? I mean it's pretty clear that you really dislike being a parent, that you went into it with bizarrely rose tinted glasses. And you're blaming everyone else for your choices.

You are clearly very angry. And it's not very fair on your children to make your anger their problem.

@Whichpart so you work full time and still can’t manage to enjoy them for a few hours in an evening and the weekends?
I agree with @Clymene it’s clearly not for you and not fair on your children either.

@Clymene what are you talking about? Are you able to read, at all?

I haven’t said I dislike parenting, or that I hate my children, or that I hate parenting. I’m not saying ‘angry’ things 😂🥲

Youre making all this up in your head.

The post was about things that are obviously shit when it comes to child rearing - why an earth would I mention the great things when it is specifically about the shit things and the people who say ‘enjoy every second’ ?

Rather than just ask if I have a job or enjoy parenting you’ve taken wild leaps to your own incorrect conclusions 🫣😳 .

take a nap and have a snack, that usually sorts it out 😉

Where have I said that Louise? Fucking hell.

@Whichpart you’ve made a thread on the internet asking which part of parenting is enjoyable. Clearly, you don’t find any of it enjoyable. Read your posts back. You sound miserable as fuck.

Louise you need to read the title again - I didn’t say that at all. you’ve made that up. I said ‘which part of this.. ’

Ive made a thread about the idiots who look back and say ‘enjoy every second’ which part of the list is enjoyable 🥹😅.. because it’s obviously not.. that’s the point.

You work FT and you have a child or children that wake hourly between 10pm and 5am?

I don’t think even a saint would enjoy that and some of the comments on here are incredibly harsh (not to mention idiotic). Sleep deprivation is horrific.

Some of the e sound exceptionally dim 😂

Oh the irony, thanks iPad.

some of the commenters

@Greensleeves

how can anyone enjoy not combing up and cleaning up shit?!

I mean really?!

come on, your child wouldn’t disappear in a puff of smoke if you admit that you did not in fact actually enjoy those things! Come on, live a little, admit it, I dare you!

I'm not remotely dim @Harridan1981. I just don't believe the OP enjoys being a mother. And I also don't believe it's possible to hide that from your children.

I'm just going on what she's written.

I think everyone's different as the baby and toddlers days didn't bother me half as much as the teen days but depends on the child and the parent I suppose

Sorry, pressed send too soon. The ‘why did you have them’ comments are ridiculous and SO misogynistic. Women aren’t required to enjoy every second of parenting or else give their children up for adoption. You roll the dice when you have a child - you don’t know what you’re going to get. What stages you’ll find really difficult, what stages you’ll enjoy. OP isn’t enjoying having young children and that is ok. It sounds like she’s been dealt a shit hand particularly in terms of sleep. It doesn’t make her a bad person who should put her kids up for adoption (can you even do that now?!) Maybe (I think very likely) she’ll love having primary age kids and tweens and teenagers.

I have a friend whose first child was the easiest kid you can imagine. Slept through from 6 weeks. Would fall asleep anywhere she put him down when he was a baby. Napped like clockwork. Cooperative, generally compliant, easygoing. She loved parenting him when he was a baby/toddler. So she was expecting the same for her second. He was the polar opposite. He’s a year now and has never slept for longer than an hour. She had a long and difficult fertility journey to get him and she’s one of the kindest and most patient people I know. She’s open about the fact she isn’t enjoying this time at all and she’s looking forward to when it passes. I really don’t see what’s wrong with that.

Oh look, the perfect mothers who enjoy every second have come to tell us the other parents must hate their children and should have them adopted.

Don’t let your kids ‘play’ with your hair or put their fingers up your nose! It’s your hair and your nose! I couldn’t be doing with that.

Get a hold of their hand, tell them no, put them down if they keep trying.

child will not be emotionally scarred if you say no and assert your bodily autonomy to them. Similarly with your breasts and nipples too.

Just don’t let them do it, whether they love it or not!

That’s why I employed a nanny and was happy to work a night shift.

Yes, this is true.

But the obvious responses you will inevitably get to that question/list is “Ok, those things are crap, but here are all the great things too.”

It’s not a reading comprehension issue. It’s a you not composing an unambiguous post that spelled out “no opinions other than agreement on this list” issue.

Your username is “Whichpart”. (You even presumably name changed, tho not sure why as it’s not controversial, your list!) So people are giving you other parts that aren’t crappy. That’s human nature - be optimistic, look on the bright side etc.

If for whatever reason you can’t/won’t look on the bright side then people start to think there might be a reason for that.

I dunno. You seem mighty chippy about people not doing exactly as you asked - perhaps that’s your personality, in which case small children will be a greater challenge, I guess.