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Original poster

Now that you've had children do you wish you'd had them younger?

312 replies

teainbedplease · 14/05/2022 06:43

The general trend seems to be to have kids in your 30s, but now that you've had kids do you wish you'd started your family earlier?

I had mine at 33 and 35 years old.

OP posts:
Original poster
teainbedplease · 14/05/2022 06:45

BlushConfused Title should read '... do you WISH you'd had them younger?'

OP posts:
Offandonagain · 14/05/2022 06:46

I had mine at 24 and 29. I wish I’d had them closer together as I feel like the kiddie stage is going on forever!

ThatshallotBaby · 14/05/2022 06:48

Yes absolutely I do. It’s one of my biggest regrets. I was 34, 39 and 41.

I'm knackered now at 54 and still have a way to go Grin

Lime37 · 14/05/2022 06:48

Yes but only so they have me around longer. I loved my child free 20’s

Offandonagain · 14/05/2022 06:48

But happy with the age I had my 1st… although it was a bit of a shock!

I’m 38 now with a 12yr old and 8yr old soo feel like I have a lot of life ahead of me that doesn’t involve paying for childcare or wishing I could nip out for a run

BigYellowElephant · 14/05/2022 06:49

I had my first at 20 so absolutely not. I've had another two in my 30s and there's pros and cons to both. I'm glad I did it the way I did overall

DonAlfonso · 14/05/2022 06:50

29 and 31- just right for me. My only regret is that we didn’t have a third.

Stellamar · 14/05/2022 06:50

No! my 20's were amazing, carefree, no responsibility, all travel, fun, festivals, parties etc etc. only myself to worry about. Its not the same once you have kids and I wouldn't have wanted to have given up any of those experiences.

I had my fill of all that and was ready for the new adventure of parenting in my 30's.

MissChanandlerBong80 · 14/05/2022 06:50

I had mine at that same ages as you and no I don’t think so. If I’d started earlier I’d almost certainly be more financially precarious - my career came on in leaps and bounds in my late 20s and early 30s. Also if I’d had children at any other time they wouldn’t be the children I’ve got!

RhinestoneCowgirl · 14/05/2022 06:50

I had mine at 28 and 30, which was a bit younger than most of my friends who were generally mid 30s and above.

Felt like the right time for me, and I'm now 44 and parent to two teens, more time to myself but still feel reasonably young enough to enjoy it!

crispsandnuts · 14/05/2022 06:50

I had mine (just one) at 33 and yes if possible I would have. I'm mid 40s now and at the age where I want to have some independence, holidays etc. I had a broody moment at 40 but pleased it passed

Bromeliadh · 14/05/2022 06:50

Yes. I didn’t realise how important family support is to your ability to cope. I left it too late so my mum is too old to babysit. That means I can never go out and I wasn’t able to afford to work until the kids started school. If I could go back in time I’d have them ten years earlier so I could leave them with my mum and have a life and a career.

Latenightthoughts111 · 14/05/2022 06:51

Ideal world I’d of have DD2 ten years ago (I’m 35 now) as I’m exhausted!

underneathleaf · 14/05/2022 06:52

Had mine around 30 as did my mum. Just sad my parents likely won't see greatgrandchildren as I think that's really special!

MintJulia · 14/05/2022 06:52

I had my ds at 45 so about as late as possible. I tried to have dc earlier and it didn't work then ds turned up as a surprise.

To be fair, I was able to carry on with my career. I worked abroad for 15 years. I have a decent pension pot, a house with no mortgage. I'm still young and fit enough to cycle and swim with ds when he wants me to ( I've worked hard to retain that)

It means I can give ds things he otherwise wouldn't have had. He is happy & secure.

I would have liked to have him earlier but we have so much to be thankful for, I don't often give it a second thought.

ShirleyPhallus · 14/05/2022 06:53

Absolutely not. I loved my free single 20s, I love that I built a really solid career before having kids so have the financial freedom that comes with that, I love that my husband and I had our own lives and then were really our own people and comfortable with ourselves when we met etc.

I think back to what I was like in my 20s and definitely don’t think i was responsible enough for children!

TheseAreMyGoodPants · 14/05/2022 06:54

I had my first at 22 so definitely not.

DappledShade · 14/05/2022 06:57

No, I was 31 and feel it was just right, we had a lot of experiences before then that wouldn't have really been possible with a child and we were also able to make sure we were a bit more financially ready.

Hugasauras · 14/05/2022 06:57

No. I had DD at 33 and will be 36 for DC2. If I'd had them much earlier then I wouldn't have been able to take as much time off work to be with them, we wouldn't have a nice big house, etc. plus in my 20s I definitely wasn't ready and didn't find DH till I was mid 20s so would have run the risk of having them with the totally wrong person!

As it was, it hasn't felt like a massive adjustment lifestyle wise as I did a lot of what I wanted to do in my 20s so am content with some of the sacrifices having kids entails now.

polkadotclip · 14/05/2022 06:58

Late 30s . Much the best time for me -- career established so much more freedom with small babies, financially much better able to cope. Still plenty fit and young enough to run round after them. I can't imagine sacrificing my twenties and not having all those experiences or trying to build a career with small children. So much easier to cope in a senior role.

anywhichwaytoo · 14/05/2022 06:58

Yes, but only because I wanted to be a young mum.

Had mine at 29 and 30, which is very young for my area of London.

Portiasparty · 14/05/2022 06:58

Yes. I was 38 and 41. I would have started a bit earlier - 35 but had some fertility issues. It wasn't too bad when they were little, it's just that I'm worried that I won't be fit enough to help with their children if they leave it late.

TeddybearBaby · 14/05/2022 07:00

I had mine at 24 and 26. Just worked out that way as I didn’t have a career that I wanted to focus on and was much more into family than friends.

While I had kids my friends were off to festivals and mini breaks. I was never jealous because that wasn’t really my scene anyway. I did go on the odd weekend away and my husband would have the kids.

I’m 39 now and my two are 15 and 13. I absolutely love the way round I’ve done it, it’s been perfect for me but I know my friends who had theirs in their 30’s feel the same so I suppose it’s just whatever suits you / your lifestyle.

QueenofLouisiana · 14/05/2022 07:01

I had DS a few days after my 29th birthday, it’s worked out well for me. He’s now almost 17 and I’m back to getting my life back: things like going away with DH overnight, going to things in the evening without thinking about childcare. Travelled a lot on my 20s, really looking forward to doing the same over the next few years.

Oneborneverydecade · 14/05/2022 07:04

I had mine at 28, 34 and 40. I often wish they were closer in age, though there are pros and cons. We definitely have more money now but I am more tired with DC3 than the other 2, and slightly resentful that we'll still be doing the school run when friends kids have flown the nest