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Original poster

Now that you've had children do you wish you'd had them younger?

312 replies

teainbedplease · 14/05/2022 06:43

The general trend seems to be to have kids in your 30s, but now that you've had kids do you wish you'd started your family earlier?

I had mine at 33 and 35 years old.

OP posts:
mistermagpie · 14/05/2022 07:05

I had mine at 35, 36 and 39. I'm 41 now.

At the moment I don't especially wish I had had them younger, and also I didn't really have much choice as I hadn't actually got together with my husband until my 30s anyway.

However, I suspect when I'm in my 50s and have three teenagers I will be wishing I was younger!

fireandpaint · 14/05/2022 07:06

No. I met my husband at 29, got married at 30 and tried for two years before having my first at 32 so had them as soon as I could really. In my 20s I was living in rented accommodation, was single and wasn't even sure I wanted children so was definitely the right time for me and happy with the choices I have made.

InChocolateWeTrust · 14/05/2022 07:08

Yes. I left it til 30s and had miscarriages and pregnancy issues that were likely exacerbated by age. It meant we stopped at 2 when we had wanted 3. Late 20s is ideal imho but it's difficult to balance with finances/career.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 14/05/2022 07:09

I did have nine young and so glad I did. I'm 40 and my eldest is an adult now, it's weird to think some didn't have their first until my age, I think I'd be too knackered!

runnerblade95 · 14/05/2022 07:14

Definitely. I only have one DC but currently contemplating 2nd. But I’m 33! I would give anything to have had DC1 5 years earlier!

InChocolateWeTrust · 14/05/2022 07:14

Family member is trying to plan a group holiday (think aunts/uncles/cousins) for parents 70th.

Our eldest will be 6, y1. Family have suggested a term time summer sunshine holiday.

I prefer not to take DC out of school but would have compromised on a day or two but it's a full week. The bigger issue is I then have to find (and pay for....!) extra childcare in school holiday as I'd have to work, our younger DC isn't old enough for any clubs.

I'd normally never expect anyone to plan around my kids but family are going to be pissed if we don't go, but I don't see how we can?!!

SmellyNelliey · 14/05/2022 07:14

I'm the opposite I wish I had mine older,I was pregnant at 17 by the time I'm 40 all my children will 17 -22

autienotnaughty · 14/05/2022 07:15

I had mine 21,23 and 39. Wish I'd done between 28-33.

cptartapp · 14/05/2022 07:16

Had mine at 30 and 33. Absolutely perfect.

InChocolateWeTrust · 14/05/2022 07:16

Ok ignore that I was trying to start new thread!!!

Titsflyingsouth · 14/05/2022 07:30

Had mine at 39 and, in hindsight, wish I'd started 5 years earlier.

Trinacham · 14/05/2022 07:36

I've only had my first child so far, at 31, and definitely don't wish I'd had him sooner. I'm glad I had him when I did. It was just the right time for us - I've worked full-time for 10 years, we've paid most of our mortgage off, we have a home and are married - I wouldn't have wanted to have him before doing all these things first. In some ways I think we could have waited a few more years, but I didn't know how easy it would be to concieve and would like two so didn't want to leave it too late.

sparkle17 · 14/05/2022 07:36

It does cross my mind that if my kids have children late I am well be into my 70's as a gran and I wouldn't be able to help and babysit as much as I would like

Waxonwaxoff0 · 14/05/2022 07:38

Had mine at 22 and I'm glad I did. A senior career and carefree travel were never on the cards for me either way, my lifestyle was chaotic and finding out I was pregnant gave me the kick up the arse I needed.

It wasn't ideal in hindsight as I wasn't in secure housing or job but I don't regret it.

I'm 31 now and he's nearly 9. It's great. I'm still young enough to start looking into a more challenging career if I want to.

Trinacham · 14/05/2022 07:38

runnerblade95 · 14/05/2022 07:14

Definitely. I only have one DC but currently contemplating 2nd. But I’m 33! I would give anything to have had DC1 5 years earlier!

33 is my perfect age to have/try for a second🙂 (I'm 31 with a 4 month old)

TulipsGarden · 14/05/2022 07:40

I had mine at 37. I wish I'd had him at 33/34 as I'd planned because my parents would be younger and I'd be around longer for him... but life happens and I'm also very glad we own a family-friendly house and my mental health problems are well treated, such is why we delayed.

I absolutely would not have wanted a baby in my 20s.

SallyWD · 14/05/2022 07:42

Yes I do. I had mine at 35 and 38. I would have had them earlier but it didn't work out. I did enjoy my hedonistic 20s but still. It's partly being knackered in my late 40s and thinking ahead to teenagers in my 50s. The main reason is wishing I had more time with them, wishing my parents had more time with them.

Tiredalwaystired · 14/05/2022 07:43

i had mine at 34 and 37.

I would have been a much worse mum if I’d had mine younger without a shadow of a doubt. The younger me would have thought spending money on them was more important that time with them. I also needed to address a bunch of my own insecurities and basically, learn to be an adult.

Also if I had had them earlier it wouldn’t have been “them”. So nope. No regrets at all.

Closedlips · 14/05/2022 07:44

I had mine both in mid 20s within two years of each other. I was lucky enough to start a career then by the time they were both school age, so feel like I've done it the opposite way around to many and it's worked really well for me. I wouldn't want to be dealing with teens in my 50s!

Tumbleweed101 · 14/05/2022 07:45

I had my first two at 22 and 24. They got more time with my parents while they were active, before poor health kicked in. My third and fourth child I was 29 and 32. I don’t know if it’s just because I already had children and became a single parent when my youngest was just two but it’s been harder work with the younger ones. I’m fed up with the responsibility now and just want my own life back. I’m more tired and less enthusiastic for kids stuff. My parents have significant health issues which mean they haven’t had the same relationship with the younger children.

In my experience having children when I was young was better than when I was older.

AntarcticTern · 14/05/2022 07:45

I had mine at 31, 33 and 35 and I think that was perfect (for me).

It meant that I had lots of fun with DH in my 20s, and also had a good career which made it easier to take a career break when my DC were small and still return to a good job after a few years out of the workplace. So I wouldn't have wanted them earlier.

But I also wouldn't have wanted to be an older mum.

I'll be mid-50s when the youngest goes to uni. That feels okay to me.

Traumdeuter · 14/05/2022 07:46

Sometimes yes - I had my DS at 33 - but if I’d have had him earlier then he wouldn’t be “him.” And I wouldn’t be me, and I’m definitely better than I was in my 20s.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 14/05/2022 07:48

I didn't meet DH till I was 26 (still relatively young I know) then had my mine at 29, 31 and 34. I'd definitely have had them younger if possible. It would have been nice for GP to have been younger and in better health and I'd to be younger as DC get older if that makes sense.

I feel a bit like as I emerged from the baby years I turned 40 and started with the twinges of perimenopause etc. Would have been nice to have a few years in my prime so to speak Grin

timeisnotaline · 14/05/2022 07:48

On the whole no. I had them at 32, 35 and 38. If i had been a bit younger age wouldn’t be a big factor in making the decision to try for a 4th, so that is the only real reason I’d like to be younger

wheresthehope · 14/05/2022 07:48

I had mine at 37 and 6 weeks shy of 40. Totally wish I’d had them much earlier in life!