Now that you've had children do you wish you'd had them younger?

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The general trend seems to be to have kids in your 30s, but now that you've had kids do you wish you'd started your family earlier?

I had mine at 33 and 35 years old.

God no- 30/34 with mine, feel like I have fucked over my earning potential as it is. Wish I’d had them one year closer together.

I had mine at 27 and 28. Perfect!

Has mine in my 30s, was perfect - my 20s were so much fun. My mum had me at 24- the plan was always fun later, but fun in your 40s is very different to fun in your 20s and she regretted missing out on that.

I had my DCs at 26, 28 & 34 and I'm now 52. My youngest is about to go to to Uni and as much as I have loved being a parent to them all, Im glad it's time for me to have my life back to focus on my own needs. At 52 I'm starting to feel my age and am relieved I had my kids when I did. Though my only caveat would be that I spent the last 10 years as a single parent so that might have had a bearing on my knackered-ness! But it has to be said, the parenting journey to my now 25, 23 and 18 YO doesnt stop, it just changes in to more of an advice/worry role.

Yes and no. I was a similar age as OP when I had mine.

Pregnancy would have been easier when I was younger I think. But I'm glad DH and I had our 20s to be stupid. Financially we also weren't in the best place until we had them and I refused to have kids until we were married, which was why we waited.

I had DS age 35.

I'm happy with it - I'm now 52 and he's 16 so his adulthood coincides quite nicely with our retirement. I met DH aged 33 so we couldn't have done it much differently.

The main thing we struggle with now is staying awake to ensure DS makes curfew or staying up until 11.30pm to pick him up

I had mine at 26, I am now 30 with a 3 year old, which is perfect! all my mum friends are much much older. At my DD nursery I am the youngest parent by at least 10 years! And many of them are now having their second or third, I have never seen such over it exhausted parents.

I had my first dd @ 15
I wouldn't want my dds having children at that age.
Had my second dd @ 38
She was a surprise arrival I definitely wouldn't have planned a baby at 38.

I had mine in my late 20's. One of the few good decisions I have made. I was old enough at 25 to have been to uni, worked, bought a home, saved a bit. I'm 44 now, kids are older and I'm getting my life back. I can't imagine having a toddler now! Too tired and sore. Think I'm peri menopausal unfortunately.

I was 31,33 and 36. Perfect ages I think. Had fun and a good career in my 20s. None of the people I know who had children earlier are still with their children's fathers.

Had my 1st at 32 2nd at 42 lost 8 babies in between . I'm now almost 48 with a 5 year old and it's hard. Hard work . I certainly don't regret it at all but my youngest is very hard work due his personality

Same. I had mine at 33 and 36 and now I'm 52 and my youngest is still only (just) 16. I really feel that I was no different at 33 than I was at 27 or 28
I hadn't been to university so I'd had 7 or 8 years of working and earning and enjoying having no responsibility. I wish I'd had a baby at 27 or so. Then perhaps another at 29. If I'd had my youngest at 29 rather than 36 he'd be 22 and finished university or he'd be working by now.

I feel that that's where i'm supposed to be. I feel at 52 that my children should be older than they are!!!

I would have liked to have spread the 'no responsibility' between my 20s and my 50s as tbh i'd savour it more now.

Had mine at 23, 27 and 29. I'm glad as I had a hysterectomy at 33.

No, because I started at 18 and was finished by 25. It has a lot going for it! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t advise others to be pregnant at 17, but I’m glad I did all the really hard parenting when I was younger. I’m now 33 and I think I’d really struggle with the sleepless nights. Also, by the time I’m 40, my youngest child will be 15, my eldest will be early twenties - I can be gallivanting around all over the place!

Not really. I was 39 and it's just how it is since I met my husband later in life. I had amazing experiences in my 30s which I would never have had if I'd had children earlier.

I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if I'd married my ex in my 20s. I would have wanted children earlier then I think. By the time I'd reached 35 I wasn't sure if I wanted children at all! But I'm glad I did, I love motherhood.

Yes. I didn’t realise how important family support is to your ability to cope. I left it too late so my mum is too old to babysit. That means I can never go out and I wasn’t able to afford to work until the kids started school. If I could go back in time I’d have them ten years earlier so I could leave them with my mum and have a life and a career

Entitled much. What if your mum was still working, or simply didn’t want to look after your children all day every day. millions do cope with no family support, i did. I was skint for 5 years while paying childcare but once they were at school recouped all that as I was five years further on at work.

my mum is in her 80’s and still doing childcare
for my brother. I know some women in their 50’s who aren’t physically healthy enough.

i had mine in my 30’s and am fine with it. The only slight regret is if I’m feeling pessimistic as I realise I’ve lived longer than I have left- I think I need more time with them as adults. But then my dad died in his 40’s and my aunt is nearly 90 and incredibly fit, so I may or may not get that extra 10 years either way.

Had mine between 32 and 38 due to some fertility issues otherwise would have had the first at 29. Definitely noticed an energy drop with the last one. Occasionally wish I’d had them a bit earlier but then know pple who had kids very young who moan about what they missed out on in their 20s. What’s right for everyone varies.

I get where you’re coming from, but I would have missed out on so much if I’d had children in my twenties, so no. I’m glad I used all that energy on myself 😁

I had mine when I was 35 and 38.

But, there’s no perfect age.

It’s easier in your 20’s I think. You have more energy and in general your body bounces back much quicker, something women who wait don’t always realise how hard the full after impact of pregnancy can sometimes be on the body. Plus your raising teenagers in your 30’s or 40’s - not late 50’s or 60’s - I can’t imagine that which is why I think parents who rely on even older grandparents for full time childcare are impossibly selfish.

No, I wish I'd had them older.

Ah, yes, this is another crock of shit we're sold.

I held on I think waiting for somebody who would tick the boxes, be acceptable as a father/partner.

After years of hoping to meet somebody responsible, decent who could offer some of what I brought to the table, I guess I settled.

It was stupid. I'm not still with the father. But I think that only matters when the children are very young.

If you're also young when your children are very young, you can recover financially.

But if you're trying to get back in to workplace when your need for childcare would no longer wipe out anything you might be able to earn, then if you waited to your early thirties to have the first, you're going to be made feel a bit old getting back in the work place.

I just say to my daughter finish your degree, after that, it'll all work out if you can earn a wage.

I was 34 and 36, which was just right for me. I wanted to have as much fun as possible before we had DCs as I knew I would be limited once I became a parent. I didn't want DCs at all until I hit my very late twenties, so had I had them younger I think I would have mentally struggled.
I think it helps that I'm average age amongst the friends with kids whom I spend my time with. So not obviously older or younger. It means we've all had similar life experiences. I'm heading towards 50 now, and whereas I'd love to be younger just because I don't want to be older, i would never have changed when I had the DCs.

No. Having them later was good. I had found a good partner to have children with. We had bought a property and had some savings. It wasn't a struggle even when it was tight.

Waiting until 30 I felt more secure and settled. Worked for me.

I was 34 when I had DS, had relocated for work and education and was career minded. I didn’t start to date DH till I was 31. I would have liked to have been a little younger. Many of my friends were older and I have 4 friends who had children from 38 to 43. We are all early to mid fifties now. One who had children later is rich enough to be able to buy loads of help in. One very sadly died last year and has left 2 primary school aged children. A couple more friends have had breast cancer, both thankfully recovered.

Had mine at 32 & 34. My 20s were brilliant; festivals, parties, weekends away and a year away travelling. At 32 I was ready to dedicate myself to babies, also I'd got to a stage in my career where flexible working and working from home was ok (I know that's common now, it wasn't 10yrs ago) so I never missed a school event.