To think DH will look like an idiot

[Waistcoatworrier]

NC as my user name is outing

My best friend is getting married in a couple of months and I’m chief bridesmaid. DH is attending as a guest. Bride is in ivory, I’m in dusky pink/mauve and the other bridesmaids in a burgundy/maroon colour.

DH always tries too hard to fit in, Says he likes things other people like if he thinks it will make him sound ‘cool’ etc.

He has decided he wants to wear Mens Vest and Tie Set Waistocat Necktie with Pocket Square Cufflinks smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08L7XFJZ1/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_F94V0GP535KABDKPZJHQ?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 this waistcoat. I’ve said it’s something someone in a bridal party would wear. He says he likes it and wants to wear a waistcoat, I’ve said he’ll look ridiculous and should get a normal waistcoat to match/complement his suit. Who is BU?

AIBU - The waistcoat is suitable for a wedding guest
AINBU - The waistcoat will make him look like he’s trying to be part of the bridal party

To match waistcoat to tie to pocket square is NAFF on any occasion.
If it is plain 'Dark Suit' maybe ok. White pocket square and simple coloured tie, try a pale colour. Not Regimental or School tie for a wedding.
The problem with waistcoats is that many are 'cheap' material that has no eight or body and not fitting well, they look cheap if he takes his jacket off. A good waistcoat can be quite expensive.

Now if y’all could slow it down a bit, I don’t want this to end up being picked up for the daily fail!

You probably shouldn't have posted then. You could try telling MN that you have "privacy concerns" . Seems to get threads deleted left and right these days.

Maybe I'm just not observant but I wouldn't notice or care. It's just a waistcoat. I don't see how it's like a faux wedding party outfit? I thought it was going to be a link to a long white dress

I don’t love it but saying he’ll look ridiculous and that people will think he’s an idiot are absolutely ott. Nobody will notice. I certainly wouldn’t. It’s not “inappropriate” in any way, it’s a totally valid choice (but yes, he could probably find nicer).

That waistcoat isn't suitable for anyone. Burn them all.

I've been to over 200 weddings for my job and seeing a guest in a waistcoat is rare. It's usually only worn by the groomsmen. 99% of the time male guests will just wear a shirt with a jacket (and trousers obviously). You're right, your husband will look silly.

I see that you are now going shopping for a waistcoat but I doubt if I'd even notice what he was wearing.

I’m not against waistcoats, or eccentric. Just that type of waistcoat, especially when not part of the wedding party. For example I love this one

www.peterchristian.co.uk/tapestry-waistcoat/?source=GSSPWC&gclid=CjwKCAjwve2TBhByEiwAaktM1PAgIcI_i8X6zm_usyDt2o1lKQpxxk3BtoBS-2NPxWPbd8iMhdYcWhoCIRoQAvD_BwE

He might get mistaken for the wedding party which is never good. Definitely encourage him to get a less “weddingy” outfit!

I take your point OP, it is fairly ghastly. On the other hand I don't blame your husband for wanting to make an effort/not look like everybody else. If he's open to something else and you have the funds I'd suggest something in a moleskin or velvet in an interesting colour. Think jewel colours, amethyst/sapphire/emerald/garnet. The last might be good as it will tone with your dress without looking too try hard. A toning tie, maybe with a quirky though quiet pattern and a simple pocket square will complete the look.

I've been here since it was all hills and don't remember there ever being threads with OP's unhappy about what their DHs were wearing to a wedding ... and now two have come along at once.

Let him wear what he wants. There is nothing less attractive than picking clothes for your partner. He's an adult not your child. Don't get him to match you - that would make him look like he was trying to be part of the wedding party.

I was going to suggest a paisley and hopefully it can have the colour of your dress in it.

I’d assume he was doing card tricks at the reception

I’m sure if you’ve been here that long you will have seen posts that say RTFT 😂

Im not telling I’m he can’t wear anything 🙄

He doesn’t lack confidence??

DH always tries too hard to fit in, Says he likes things other people like if he thinks it will make him sound ‘cool’ etc.

Don’t need to be a psychiatrist to see that this is classic lacking confidence

That's a lovely waistcoat. I don't see any problem with wearing it so long as it isn't too similar to what the groom, best man and the ushers are wearing. Do you have details of what that's going to be? There's no problem at all with male guests wearing bright colours if they want to and no he won't look stupid, it would only be a faux pas if there was any chance that it would look like he was trying to pretend to be the Best Man. If the ushers/Best Man and groom are in tail coats and he's in a more normal jacket that will also make the difference obvious.

Can I add, having seen that you're going to be going waistcoat shopping at the weekend, that a lot of how the waistcoat would be interpreted (colour aside) is down to the material that the garment is made from. If it's made from a taffeta/silk/satin finish then it has a much higher chance of being interpreted as being worn by someone in the bridal party, particularly as men tend to remove their jackets and would be walking around the venue in their shirt and waistcoat on their upper half. If it was a matt finish (not necessarily tweed) that would be less likely to be mistaken for a member of the bridal party.

I really love the model (he makes wearing a waistcoat look so suave and cool) and the way they are wearing these waistcoats:

Check waistcoat from Joe Browns

Sensational Stripe waistcoat

Ok, even if that is the case. Would that mean that when he asks my opinion I should just agree that it looks lovely, even when I hate it? I hope he wouldn’t do that to me.

Ive suggested the waistcoat above and he likes that one too. He pretty much just wants to wear something bright/snazzy and non-funeral like, but doesn’t really have a clue about fashion or etiquette and will fully admit this is the case

1. Jockey
2. Peaky Blinders/Pride Mashup

God I hope that’s a thing. It totally needs to be a thing, but that waistcoat is very 80’s!

I don't see what the issue is and it doesn't matter if it's not in the 'colour scheme'

He won’t look like part of the bridal party because purple is a completely different colour. I don’t think he would look ridiculous at all.

So you criticise his waistcoat because it’s very 80s and then try and fob him off with a 70s psychedelic paisley waistcoat? Poor man, just let him dress how he wants to without criticism.

Imagine a man telling a woman what she could wear to a wedding.

Imagine if I went to my OH with a suggestion of something naff and inappropriate and he said 'erm, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think that's quite right'. I might be a bit irritated, but I'd prefer it to spending the day at a wedding looking like a dick.

OP Joe Brown's stuff is usually well made and good value for money. I'd go with some of those suggestions. Or since you're going shopping together, don't forget the charity shops. There may be some really good quality stuff in there. I actually quite liked the look of the Amazon one but only certain people would get away with it. Plus at that price you can guarantee that the real thing would look cheap and nasty.

I think it’s fine. Some people wear waistcoats to work you know. It really isn’t as bad as you think it is.

Just because you hate it doesn’t mean he can’t wear it.

Waistcoat - yes
looking like part of the bridal party or magician - no
There is a middle ground.

It's a bloody hideous waistcoat. I quite like a flamboyant waistcoat on a man but not this one. It says 1990s groomsman to me, or cruise ship entertainer. If he wants something a bit different then steer him towards something with more sartorial elegance.