To think DH will look like an idiot

[Waistcoatworrier]

NC as my user name is outing

My best friend is getting married in a couple of months and I’m chief bridesmaid. DH is attending as a guest. Bride is in ivory, I’m in dusky pink/mauve and the other bridesmaids in a burgundy/maroon colour.

DH always tries too hard to fit in, Says he likes things other people like if he thinks it will make him sound ‘cool’ etc.

He has decided he wants to wear Mens Vest and Tie Set Waistocat Necktie with Pocket Square Cufflinks smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08L7XFJZ1/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_F94V0GP535KABDKPZJHQ?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 this waistcoat. I’ve said it’s something someone in a bridal party would wear. He says he likes it and wants to wear a waistcoat, I’ve said he’ll look ridiculous and should get a normal waistcoat to match/complement his suit. Who is BU?

AIBU - The waistcoat is suitable for a wedding guest
AINBU - The waistcoat will make him look like he’s trying to be part of the bridal party

He doesn’t lack confidence, sometimes he has a little too much 😂

He asked for my opinion, I gave it. He doesn’t have to accept it if he doesn’t want to. I was trying to find out if my opinion would be the minority or not and you can always count on mumsnet to say what they think 😂

I don't have a problem with that personally.

It's not my favourite choice of fabric but I'd let him wear what he wants.

I think the key question is whether he's wearing a jacket over it? If he is, it will cover most of the waistcoat in any case.

This!

He’s asked your opinion, you’ve given it. It’s a waistcoat, it’s really not that important. YABU if you continue to try to change his mind.

It looks so bloody shiny and cheap! It belongs in the 1970s.

If he wants a waistcoat he should steer well clear of anything luminous or shiny.

Some ideas, though it will depend on how formal the wedding is, what time of year and your DH’s look which is most appropriate and I’d probably wear a contrasting rather than matching waistcoat with a 3 piece suit. Could you get him to ask what his mates think/ what they are wearing perhaps?

I don't think it's as much of a cultural gaffe as the Indian wedding exemplar. It's not to my taste, but he's made an effort and I can't see that he'll offend anyone.
I judge him for buying clothes from Amazon, though 😉

I think it looks fine for a wedding.

Re avoiding same colour as bride

But it's purple

The bride isn't wearing purple

Personally I think it’s pretty tacky and would steer my him away from it if he were my fella. For the record I love my husband and don’t want to ‘stamp on his personality’ but sometimes we do need to know we are making a f*cking awful choice. 😂😂😂

Your comments feel a bit like I'm chief bridesmaid but he's just a normal guest and should dress as such.

I've never really understood why people get like this over weddings. If he turned up in a bridal gown I could see your point but a fancy waistcoat is fine if he likes it.

Why would OP lie to him to 'boost him up' when she thinks it's inappropriate and ridiculous? Sounds like something a stepford wife would do IMO, pretending she loves and values every single decision her husband makes - creepy. Of course it's fine to say you don't like something, you don't have to pretend you have the same personality as your OH.

This does look a bit wedding party/magician OP but it wouldn't bother me too much as long as he had a nice suit over the top mostly hiding it. Weddings are a time for dressing up so I don't think he'll stand out like a sore thumb or anything. You've told him your opinion now I'd just leave him to get on with it.

Is he the Duke of Hastings?

He’d better hope no one lights a fag near him, that cheap material looks highly flammable.

Ha ha

I don't think he will look like he's apart of the bridal party, nor trying to be. It sounds like he's insecure in general so it's great that he's found a piece of clothing he seems to love. I wouldn't want him to feel insecure in something he doesn't love, just because it doesn't cross any of the invisible lines or go against invisible rules that 99% of people won't care about/notice. Also, I think it's beautiful and you two will look fabulous stood next to each other!

I think it’s the matching waistcoat and tie that is particularly bridal party. Waistcoat with a different tie is just eccentric guest.

It is utterly revolting.

Agree with pp it is also a fire hazard. Remind him to avoid fire, direct sunlight or friction if he wants to live.

I’ve said he’ll look ridiculous

like a dick

be a bit kinder to DH! Do you have any respect for him?

Roaring laughing!

I think it’s a great, I honestly don’t see the issue?

Is that the actual waistcoat (and accessories) from Amazon? It’s hideous. It will be a terrible boxy cut as well as being shiny and patterned. The first rule of a flattering look is clothing that fits. There’s nothing wrong with wearing a waistcoat to a wedding and it doesn’t have to be black or grey (there are some lovely dark green or pale blue options) but it looks like he needs to be steered towards something that is a bit more refined.

Can’t see anything wrong with it.

The bride isn't wearing purple

That wasn’t the point; the point I was making was that there can be circumstances with formal occasions where your spouse might quite legitimately give you a bit of advice about dress. Not because it’s controlling, or they’re trying to stamp on your personality….but because they might have a bit more information about the event/bride and groom and they don’t want you to turn up in ignorance and look and feel a bit uncomfortable/silly when you get there.

If I’d turned up in a red dress? Nobody would’ve said anything, I’m sure - they’d have just thought “English woman who doesn’t know the custom”. But it could have looked disrespectful and might have upset the bride - I didn’t know her (my DH knew the groom). So would I rather my DH - who had more information and had had the thought - had just let me get on with it? No! It’s the same here. The OP knows the bride and the set up better. If she thinks her DH’s choice isn’t quite right, then why wouldn’t he take her word for it? Especially if he’s someone who is likely to be upset/uncomfortable if he thinks people are thinking he looks odd on the day.

It’s a very, very different thing to making demands about what your other half wears to take you down the pub.