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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH will look like an idiot

185 replies

Waistcoatworrier · 11/05/2022 06:18

NC as my user name is outing

My best friend is getting married in a couple of months and I’m chief bridesmaid. DH is attending as a guest. Bride is in ivory, I’m in dusky pink/mauve and the other bridesmaids in a burgundy/maroon colour.

DH always tries too hard to fit in, Says he likes things other people like if he thinks it will make him sound ‘cool’ etc.

He has decided he wants to wear Mens Vest and Tie Set Waistocat Necktie with Pocket Square Cufflinks smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08L7XFJZ1/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_F94V0GP535KABDKPZJHQ?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 this waistcoat. I’ve said it’s something someone in a bridal party would wear. He says he likes it and wants to wear a waistcoat, I’ve said he’ll look ridiculous and should get a normal waistcoat to match/complement his suit. Who is BU?

AIBU - The waistcoat is suitable for a wedding guest
AINBU - The waistcoat will make him look like he’s trying to be part of the bridal party

To think DH will look like an idiot
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ColdApril · 11/05/2022 07:15

Whooshaagh · 11/05/2022 06:45

Imagine a man telling a woman what she could wear to a wedding.

I'd like to hope if I somehow decided I was going to wear a bridesmaid dress to a wedding I wasn't a bridesmaid of that my husband would tell me it was inappropriate rather than keep quiet and me look like a dick.

Amichelle84 · 11/05/2022 07:15

It's gross but if he likes it let him wear it without being made to feel judged or bad...oh wait, you've already done that

Snoken · 11/05/2022 07:15

Oh, that’s quite hideous on all levels. Looks (is) really cheap and highly flammable. It looks like something a groom would have worn ca 2002. There are ways to look eccentric and interesting without it looking cheap.

Cherrysoup · 11/05/2022 07:16

It’s horrible (cheap looking) and he would look like he’s trying to be part of the wedding party, which he is not.

ThinWomansBrain · 11/05/2022 07:17

Surely it depends how formal the wedding is, and what other guests will be wearing?

ColdApril · 11/05/2022 07:17

I'd sooner assume he was a magician than part of the wedding party in that number. Really ugly.

notagamer · 11/05/2022 07:19

Op

This is sad

you have a quirky DH, lacking in confidence.
Support him, boost him, stand by him, be his wing “woman”.
Any adult that remotely raises an eyebrow at a wedding outfit, is an adult that I would rather than nothing to do with

Sorrynotsorry2 · 11/05/2022 07:19

To be honest its to much and it will clash with your colour dress I would of thought . Can you show him other colours that would look good to compliment your dress

WimpoleHat · 11/05/2022 07:19

Whooshaagh · 11/05/2022 06:45

Imagine a man telling a woman what she could wear to a wedding.

I don’t know. My DH and I were invited to his colleague’s wedding reception. I have a lovely red dress I thought I’d wear. DH said, “Oh - it says on the notes invitation that the bride wears red at an Indian wedding - maybe something else would be better.” I was grateful for his input, which stopped me feeling a bit embarrassed on the day. How is this any different?

Blossomtoes · 11/05/2022 07:22

Nobody will notice or care. It’s just a waistcoat.

notagamer · 11/05/2022 07:23

If the general consensus is that it’s fine I’m happy to be proved wrong.

You are presumably a grown arsed woman OP?
So of a group of anonymous posters say it’s ok - you’ll be happy with it

rather than fact your dh wants to wear it!

DarlingNik · 11/05/2022 07:23

Show him this picture of Kitty from Ghosts

To think DH will look like an idiot
milcal · 11/05/2022 07:24

What I though always looks nice is a waistcoat the same colour and fabric of the suit.

Maybe don't match the tie to your dress exactly but a paler or darker shade than your dress. Then if you have photos taken together he will compliment you.

Nishkin · 11/05/2022 07:24

notagamer · 11/05/2022 07:19

Op

This is sad

you have a quirky DH, lacking in confidence.
Support him, boost him, stand by him, be his wing “woman”.
Any adult that remotely raises an eyebrow at a wedding outfit, is an adult that I would rather than nothing to do with

absolutely agree

ABrotherWhoLooksLikeHellMugYou · 11/05/2022 07:26

I fixed Nosquirrels link (hopefully) and think this is a lovely option and looks much more expensive and classy than the polyester offering from Amazon.

SleeplessInEngland · 11/05/2022 07:27

Not to my taste but I imagine other guests would find it idiosyncratic. Let him have his fun.

ABrotherWhoLooksLikeHellMugYou · 11/05/2022 07:27

Yup, nope. It looks fine on the preview and then fuckery. You can still click on the end of it and have it work, though.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 11/05/2022 07:27

steer him in the direction of a different colour waistcoat

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 11/05/2022 07:28

Snoken · 11/05/2022 07:15

Oh, that’s quite hideous on all levels. Looks (is) really cheap and highly flammable. It looks like something a groom would have worn ca 2002. There are ways to look eccentric and interesting without it looking cheap.

This. A non-shiny, non-hideous waistcoat in a neutral colour will be fine. This £33 monstrosity from Amazon... not so much.

Ohsoworried · 11/05/2022 07:28

I think it's fab

Original poster
Waistcoatworrier · 11/05/2022 07:29

notagamer · 11/05/2022 07:23

If the general consensus is that it’s fine I’m happy to be proved wrong.

You are presumably a grown arsed woman OP?
So of a group of anonymous posters say it’s ok - you’ll be happy with it

rather than fact your dh wants to wear it!

No, I’m happy if a bunch of people tell me I am being unreasonable. This is AIBU right? Is that not the point of this forum?

Also, he asked for my opinion! 🙄

OP posts:
Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 11/05/2022 07:31

@FabFitFifties

Yes, it's like a female guest wearing a bridesmaid dress. A strong no from me.

And me !

WeddingFavour · 11/05/2022 07:32

@WimpoleHat if the invitation had requested no purple waistcoats then it would be the same. But it hasn't.

OP I'm Scottish, maybe we make more of an effort for weddings? If the men all wear black or grey waistcoats it could look a bit like a funeral. I honestly don't see anything wrong with it, if a guest turned up to my wedding in a kilt I wouldn't think they were trying to be part of the bridal party, just that they'd made an effort. This seems vaguely similar. What about this? Or one of those waistcoats that are tweedy at the front but like shiny Paisley pattern at the back? So he'd be formal for the ceremony but quirky once his jacket came off.

notagamer · 11/05/2022 07:32

But, but… oh, I won’t…
just hope you’ve seen you need to be more of a wing woman to your lacking in confidence DH rather than 🤔 at his clothing choices

HangingOver · 11/05/2022 07:33

I seriously doubt anyone will be looking at him tbh

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