To judge them a bit?

[Judgeygem]

My friend is 30 and on paper has a life I would envy, has a gorgeous house so much so it has its own Instagram account and lots of followers, goes on nice holidays a lot, plenty of money, cute kids, always dresses nice, always has her nails done! I went to her wedding last year and it was lovely and clearly expensive but I just couldn’t get over her husband. She’s 30 and he’s 45! He is handsome and younger looking than his age but I couldn’t grasp why such an attractive vibrant women would marry someone who’s going to be an old man so soon? I saw them today and couldn’t help but judge them a bit, though they look very happy. AIBU? Why do women shortchange themselves in this way?

Where's that useful envy emoji gone to?

Well fuck a duck.

I turn 45 this year.

I better go get my blue rinse booked in and order myself a Zimmerframe 🤨

I know someone turning 45 today...I think they'd be seriously offended to be considered old. It may be life goals and that your friend is more in tune with someone older than her. Or maybe age doesn't matter because he's a really nice guy? You don't sound like a great friend!

Wow. You are an utter bitch.

They're in love. She hasn't been shortchanged. She fell in love and married. You are no friend. Jealousy isn't attractive

Because younger men can't be abusive obviously

Your comment is utterly ridiculous

When I was thirty, I fell in love with and married a man of 50. We were together for almost 40 years, had a wonderful life and I have never regretted it. Just over two years ago, he died, and I'm still struggling to get over it, but we were happy together right up to the end.

What is there to judgle?

Judge

Best wishes to you Technonan, lovely to hear you had such a happy relationship. It's difficult to adjust but you'll get there.

If it makes you feel any better OP, I'm 52 and if I were with an average 67 year old man, I'd feel extremely short changed in some aspects of my life, so I can't say you're being entirely unreasonable in that.
30 and 45 might be fine, but from my own experience and that of women I know, as both parties get older, the gap between men and women often widens, even where they are of similar age, and unless the women favours an unusually slow pace of life, she will be forced to compromise.
It stands to reason that even the fittest 70 year old man will not be the equal of a fit and healthy 55 year old woman in terms of energy and so on, and the couple will live at the pace of the slower.
Where you're being unreasonable is in assuming that your friend doesn't realise this. She may well know what her future holds but feel the present is worth it.

I'm in my fifties, and I agree with you, OP. If they are thinking of having children, she probably should have married someone younger. Quite a bit of research suggests older fathers are more likely to sire children with birth defects, particularly if the age gap between them and the mother is more than ten years.
On the other hand, maybe she has found younger men disappointing / trivial / allergic to commitment. How well do you know her?

Where have you read anything about an age gap of 10 years between parents causing birth defects? I’m not finding a link online for that.

They’ve already got children, it says so in the OP.

First post mentions their cute kids, so no need for any information on any research.

45 is a looooong way from the old folks home! And a massive step away from "frail old person". I certainly plan on being as fit and healthy at 45 as I am now at 37. 45 doesn't sound very far away, and I certainly don't consider myself anywhere near to close to being old!

You sound very jealous.

What an offensive and horrible post. My DM and DF were married for 60 years before my DF's death at the age of 97 this April. My 82 year old DM would not have had it any other way, nor would she have considered herself "short-changed". There, HTH

I just don't believe this is a genuine thread - like a few on here lately!

Good for her. Her life seems to be going well. She's financially secure. She's happy. That's worth a hell of a lot.

She could do without a judgy friend though, but she'll realise that soon enough if she hasn't already.

Pmsl...im 44 and hope to not be old very soon!

What a ridiculous post! Many people choose to marry/cohabit with older partners and are very happy. My late husband was 14 years older but the age difference was not obvious as he was very young at heart. He was fit and healthy until he got cancer - and that could happen to any of us at any time.