To judge them a bit?

[Judgeygem]

My friend is 30 and on paper has a life I would envy, has a gorgeous house so much so it has its own Instagram account and lots of followers, goes on nice holidays a lot, plenty of money, cute kids, always dresses nice, always has her nails done! I went to her wedding last year and it was lovely and clearly expensive but I just couldn’t get over her husband. She’s 30 and he’s 45! He is handsome and younger looking than his age but I couldn’t grasp why such an attractive vibrant women would marry someone who’s going to be an old man so soon? I saw them today and couldn’t help but judge them a bit, though they look very happy. AIBU? Why do women shortchange themselves in this way?

I’m 45 and hardly at deaths door 😵‍💫🤪😬😬

I am in my early 30s. My Husband is 45.

OP, have you written this just to get peoples backs up?

I am happy and proud in my marriage…I also have cute children, a nice home, an education to match his, and I hope the ‘vibrancy’ you describe.

My Husband is handsome, kind, funny, intelligent, world wise, an excellent father, well travelled and well read…how have I been short changed here!?

Your narrow mindedness is icky.

🤣 wow. I’m 34, DP of 7 years 51. I was short changing myself a lot more when I was with my ex who was the same age as me. Age doesn’t matter one bit.

With friends like you who needs enemies!

I just find this attitude so deeply offensive. I adore my older husband for so many genuine reasons. Our bond is very much real…

OP has quite clearly never “experienced” the older man…. 😘😜

Do you also judge by colour, race, sex?
Age is just a number. Who cares how old he is as long as he loves her and treats her right and she loves him

My Da used to always say that “you can’t remove the splinter from your neighbour’s eye until you remove the plank from your own one first.”

Instead of judging their (seemingly lovely) relationship, maybe have a think about what’s lacking in your own that you’re so invested in someone else’s!

Jealous is a very unattractive look on you OP.

Hey, im almost mid 40s and im not going to be an old woman any time soon. How bloody rude and short sighted of you

The only person who needs judging here is you OP!

As long as they love each other and are happy together their age differences are totally irrelevant.
Who is anyone to judge them ?

Ha ha, how funny. 45 is no age, in fact the maturity that comes with age is highly attractive.

He's 45 not bloody 85! You sound thoroughly jealous tbh

You sound like a jealous cow.

If she was 30 and he was 60, I’d get what you were saying. Marrying someone the same age as your parents is weird to me as you are generations apart and energy levels apart. 30 and 45 is an age gap, but not a ridiculous one. Everyone is fully an adult at that age, both of working age with many working years ahead of them on both sides. Many men also wouldn’t be adverse to being a father at that age, as couples in their 40’s have kids. You are clearly a bit immature, but you will see once you hit 35 or so that the gap really narrows at that point and often people can be well suited with a reasonable age gap as they are quite often mentally at the same point in their lives, some people before that age, like your friend. Men often mature later than women, so they could be a really good match. When she is 35, he’ll be 50. I don’t know what image you have of 50 year olds, but they are far from their dotage. My DP is a half marathon runner who runs a very fast time, but is beaten by many a 50 year old, who run even faster. When your friend is 50, he’ll be 65. Again, depends on the person, but the majority of 65 year olds who are fit and healthy are not like 65 year olds 40 years ago! When she’s 60, he’ll be 75 and that will be the time you’ll probably notice the difference in health etc, but after all those years of marriage, the love and care will mean those things don’t matter. You are shallow and young-minded. End of.

I’m 48 and my partner was 40 last week. Shall I just shoot myself now and save us all the hassle?

Weird goady thread OP. My DH is 10 years old than me dirty old git.

If this is real, get a massive grip.

Bloody hell- is this a joke? I’m 46 - it never occurred to me I was nearly old and where I’m at is such a negative place to be. I love this age, why wouldn’t I🤷🏼‍♀️ Honestly you sound awful and horribly jealous.

Oh gosh you’re baby. You know very little about the world and life and you’re embarrassing yourself horribly. What a ridiculous post. What ‘shock’ is she in for little girl?

He's not going to be an old man soon 😂 It sounds like they love each other - isn't that all that matters?

I have a 35 year old friend who has a 60 year old husband - what do you think of that!?

I had to laugh at your comment about him being old before she knows it, or some such. No, they will both age, incrementally, day by day. And just as he will be older, so will she.

My father was 18 years older than my mother. When he died, she said that she treasured every day that they had, and given the choice, would take a man like him for a year rather than a lesser man for a lifetime. Perhaps your friend is NOT shortchanging herself. And perhaps you will never know how badly you are shortchanging yourself, judging so harshly on age.

Try looking at the person and not their age. Life is short and if we focus on what we think is negative it’s not good for us and besides it’s just your viewpoint. Anyone of any age deserves a decent life and life’s not over at 45. Ask yourself if what your thinking is morally right and try not to judge your friends husband in such a harsh negative way. Just think if roles were reversed and your friend was judging you because your husband was in his forties how upset you would feel. I hope your friend doesn’t realise your views as she would be shocked how harsh your being. Why are you so critical about your friends husband and why are you comparing your friends life to what you think is acceptable and not acceptable. I hope you have a very happy life and can work out why you feel the way you do. Perhaps soon you can change your views and realise that what you think is right and not right for your friend is flawed.

You sound horrible and extremely jealous.

My mum and dad had a wonderful life together with 18 years age gap, don’t be so judgy, it’s not like he’s an old man is it? Most men age a lot slower than women anyway.

When he died, she said that she treasured every day that they had, and given the choice, would take a man like him for a year rather than a lesser man for a lifetime.

This is perfect.
My DH is older than me and is now in his 50's. We have the best relationship and have so much fun. I can't see that stopping just because we are both getting older.
The relationship is million times better than the ones I had with men who were closer to me in age.