To judge them a bit?

[Judgeygem]

My friend is 30 and on paper has a life I would envy, has a gorgeous house so much so it has its own Instagram account and lots of followers, goes on nice holidays a lot, plenty of money, cute kids, always dresses nice, always has her nails done! I went to her wedding last year and it was lovely and clearly expensive but I just couldn’t get over her husband. She’s 30 and he’s 45! He is handsome and younger looking than his age but I couldn’t grasp why such an attractive vibrant women would marry someone who’s going to be an old man so soon? I saw them today and couldn’t help but judge them a bit, though they look very happy. AIBU? Why do women shortchange themselves in this way?

Absolute bollocks 😂

You've mistaken "judgement" for "jealousy" OP.

You are so jealous of your friend that you have clutched at the straw of the age gap to make yourself feel better about it.

We now all know quite a lot about your friend's possessions, but not one thing about her character. Maybe think more about that in relation to her, & less about her material goods, & your obsession with her DH's age will abate?

I‘ m 46 and I’m not planning on being an old lady any time soon!

My parents have a 17 year age gap. Dad is 78, Mum is 61. They just celebrated their 40th anniversary last week.

You’ve shortchanged yourself. Such a small mind won’t bring you happiness.

Wow. Just wow.

Appalled by this OP.

Live your own life, make your own mistakes, don’t judge.

OP,
Not surprised you are getting stick but I can see your point, even though you have written it a bit baldly.

When I was 27, I definitely found some 45 year old men attractive, but wouldn't have entertained marrying one in a fit.

At that age I had a couple of friends whom would have thought 35 was genuinely ancient.

I certainly never would have thought that.

In terms of marriage I also believe a big age gap can be problematic, but lots of posters attest otherwise.

I definitely wouldn't have gone near a younger man when I was 27, where as I know women who wouldn't be bothered by that at all.

This is very much a personal taste thing.

My parents have a 13 year age gap. She retired early and now they have a bloody lovely life that I’m very jealous of - he’s 74 and they go hiking, skiing, on cycling holidays - plenty of life left in my OAP dad yet!

My aunt married a man her own age (literally eight days between their birthdays!) and he died of bowel cancer in his early 50s.

Life is unpredictable and full of unfair sadnesses, if you meet someone you love I say grab a few years of happiness cos who knows what’s coming for any of us?

Oh dear I'm fast approaching 47 - didn't realise I was going to be considered an 'old woman' soon. Mind you my dad was running marathons into his 70's so I'm not really too worried.

Oh come on! 45 is still young, a 15 year difference isn't a huge deal,maybe she loves him? I'm 72,my partner is 63, so,my gosh he's a toy boy,and seems to find me quite nice!

You said they look happy right?

So how about you start acting like her friend and be happy for her. It's her relationship, not yours. Who cares about the age gap. If you think 45 is an age to be an old man soon then 😂 give your head a wobble.

This. In every way.

'Shortchange' is just ridiculous and says far more about you than them. If she loves him and vice versa that's all that matters, not age.

And you call yourself her friend, bloody hell this thread reeks of jealousy on your part! What a nasty bit of work you are. In your words you couldn’t get over her husband he’s going to be an old man soon! You need to give your head a wobble

YABU to think someone’s age is an indicator of whether or not they’d be a good partner.(I’m 40, husband 53, we’re very happy)

YANBU to wonder why women short-change themselves with mediocre men, but this dude’s age means squat in relation to this.

You’ve answered your own question he is part of the ‘nice’ life package

Can’t work out if this is a joke or if you really are this much of a jealous clown ?

Marrying someone your own age doesn’t necessarily guarantee health or happiness. I have a friend who was widowed in her 20s. My DH is 24 years older than me and still fit and healthy.

And she could find lots of frogs her own age who treat her badly. She could find a lovely man her own age who still doesn't match what she sees in this older man.

But maybe she needs to be more picky about her friends, seeing as that seems to be the only element that's letting her down

YABU

Age is just a number, my Dad is 71 and in comparison to other 70+ year olds is very fit and youthful. Last weekend he went to Scotland and climbed 3 Munro’s including a big day with 2 tops -14 hours walking, 18 miles plus 6,000ft ascent….

My Mum passed away and he is really struggling to meet women of a similar age who are as active and vibrant as him - I suspect he will end up with someone significantly younger.

There is a 3 year age gap between me and my husband but people think it’s much bigger (in his favour!) as he still looks about 20 and is actually over double that….

Wow, just wow.
I have loads of friends who have married older men. Friends are now in their 40s and husbands in their 60s and 70s. Most of these men have more get up and go in them than my husband, who is 42 and is very much pipe and slippers and has been for years! 😄

Pretty sure they’ve got enough brains to have considered future implications of their age gap 🙄

Yes you are being unreasonable! They obviously love each other and you sound very critical. My neices DH is 29yrs older!
45 isn't that old for goodness sake

Definitely sounds like it!

What's the houses IG account?

Why did you start this with "my friend"?
You sound jealous not friendly. And 45 is not old.
Bless you and your weird thoughts.