Irritated at comment at work

[Tuesdaytuesday]

My working environment is a bit odd, in that I am a lecturer but when I started here 4 years ago I was placed on a desk in the large open-plan administrative services office (desk space at a premium) and here I’ve remained. I’ve posted about it before but for different reasons (unable to really focus to work as it is noisy).

I hope this doesn’t make me appear up myself. The person who sits next to me works with me, but I’m full time and she works 3 days. One day last week when she wasn’t in, the (male) receptionist asked me where my partner in crime was and said that he thought of us as Cagney and Lacey. I was surprised, and somewhat irritated. I’ve no idea why someone should think that, never mind say it. My colleague and I aren’t Siamese twins or do everything together though we do attend some meetings together. I chose not to respond to the comment but now wonder if I should have said something. He would not have said something similar to two male lecturers or two female lecturers who weren't based in the same room as him.

What do you think?

I definitely call my DH and his best mate this.

Are you the only lecturers sitting there? I think it's fair enough tbh.

When I joined my current job there was only one other woman in the group (also lecturers!), we both have brown hair and glasses and similar unconventional career trajectories so of course we were linked in people's minds. Now we've had children at the same time and are close friends so of course that's even more true.

I do the same with a couple of male colleagues who work in the same area and moderate each other's teaching.

It's honestly not a big deal, if you think about it you will have grouped people together in your head too, whether at work or socially.

There is a bit of an academic vs prof services whiff to your post though.

What exactly has irritated you about the comment

I find it remarkable that you're offended by being given 'buddy' nicknames whilst simultaneously using a derogatory term for conjoined twins...

OP you are making a mountain out of not even a mole hill. The admin man was probably trying to have a more jovial conversation with you, maybe trying to build rapport.

Cagney and Lacey - nothing to feel offended by, they are feminist icons.

I always wanted to be Mary Beth when I grew up, or Sabrina Wilson from Charlie's Angels...

Christ on a bike

I think it was probably meant as friendly humour!
I feel sure you've got far more important issues to worry about than this!
So glad I worked in an office in the 1980's and 90's and not now. Everyone must be scared to speak now for fear of offending someone.

I used to refer to 2 of my male colleagues as staedler and waldorf...
they didn't get the muppet reference unfortunately 🤦‍♀️

Why don't you have your own room/office?

Ha ha, me and a colleague were often referred to as Cagney and Lacey, Hinge and Bracket or Sindy and Barbie, all well known double acts so to speak at the time. We were close friends outside of work (we still are) and always came in and left together as I drove us plus sat fairly near each other.

Lots of the blokes had nicknames too, we always found it amusing, neither of us ever felt offended. We worked with virtually all men apart from us four women in a large print place.

I miss those days at times ...😀

I think you are overreacting. This is hardly everyday sexism. You are getting irritated with something so benign, it's ridiculous.

What do you think?
That you should have responded in kind. Say she was keeping NYC safe or something. It's daft, but it's the kind of nonsense and in joke that helps work teams to gel.

It's a flattering comparison too.

I think you should definitely get your own office, OP.

Not for your benefit, but for that of the admin staff.

Sorry but if you are irritated by this throwaway comment you are truly blessed.

when I think of all the irritating things of daily working life this would not even feature on my radar.

I think you need to get yourself a sense of humour. One former employer of mine used to call me and my work pal Hinge and Brackett ( Google if you don't know who they are) we used to burst into gales of laughter every time he said it

Mind you, that was back in the days when people weren't quite so precious 🤣🤣

He was just making polite conversation. There’s nothing more to it. You are definitely being unreasonable regarding this.

I wouldn't think anything of this. Not sure why it would bother you.

I don't think it is sexist either. My team mostly wfh but pre-pandemic 2 men used to sit next to each other and often worked together and went to make coffee etc. one is a team leader and the other a test analyst.

People looking for them or talking about them would call them various names - usually Ant and Dec, Pinky and Perky or Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

I wouldn’t like this at all and would have had a quiet word with him privately to make him aware it’s not acceptable and if repeated could lead to a complaint. You’d be doing him a favour really to make him think twice about this sort of comment. This sort of behaviour also tends to escalate so best to nip in the bud.

Complaint about what?

What would the complaint be based on?!

I would report to HR

If receptionist is hired through an agency they will be gone within days

Omg, people take offence at absolutely EVERYTHING these days - I’m sorry, I don’t understand how this is such an issue🤷🏼‍♀️.

A totally anodyne comment that merits no comment whatsoever. The absolute shame of a lecturer having to share space with minion professional services staff (a fair chance by the way several of whom are likely to be more senior to you - lecturer being a junior rank). Your lofty thoughts being interrupted by their prosaic chatter. The horror. Get a grip….

It’s so odd because people do say this stuff to men
in My working life I have heard men referred to as
Chuckle Brothers
Laurel and hardy
Vic and Bob
and many other famous male couplings. Usually not as flattering as Cagney and Lacey tbh.

I was going to post the same - I've heard all of these used about men.
It's not sexism.

So you want someone to lose their job because they tried to make a light hearted comment.

Aren't you nice!

Yeah sack everyone who doesn't talk EXACTLY LIKE ME.