Irritated at comment at work

[Tuesdaytuesday]

My working environment is a bit odd, in that I am a lecturer but when I started here 4 years ago I was placed on a desk in the large open-plan administrative services office (desk space at a premium) and here I’ve remained. I’ve posted about it before but for different reasons (unable to really focus to work as it is noisy).

I hope this doesn’t make me appear up myself. The person who sits next to me works with me, but I’m full time and she works 3 days. One day last week when she wasn’t in, the (male) receptionist asked me where my partner in crime was and said that he thought of us as Cagney and Lacey. I was surprised, and somewhat irritated. I’ve no idea why someone should think that, never mind say it. My colleague and I aren’t Siamese twins or do everything together though we do attend some meetings together. I chose not to respond to the comment but now wonder if I should have said something. He would not have said something similar to two male lecturers or two female lecturers who weren't based in the same room as him.

What do you think?

I didn't say I was offended. I was surprised and irritated but not offended.

Of course, even just as throw away comments like 'where's Robin today, Batman'. Nothing offensive or sexist, just (corny) office chat.

I have lots of male colleagues who work together who are often referred to using random "pair" nicknames (even female/male pairings). I think this is random conversation and not remotely sexist. Being compared to Cagney and Lacey is hardly derogatory.

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron OK. Such a weird thing to be irritated by. Better?

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron

Nothing annoys me about my colleague. I have never said that it did. You're making massive assumptions.

I didn't ask what annoys you about your colleague. Sorry if it wasn't clear, but I was asking what specifically annoys you about being paired with colleague in this way?

So rather than saying where’s Lynn he’s said where’s your partner in crime and then followed it up with a reference that I can’t see is offensive. Are you annoyed he thinks you are friends with her (and she’s admin?) or ageist. I really wouldn’t overthink it.

I wouldn't like that either

That is the nickname for me and my jobshare partner . We just think it is funny.
Sorry, but you need to chill.

Why not Starsky and Hutch? Could be worse. Laurel and Hardy for instance, or Del Boy and Rodney?

That is everyday sexism.

I imagine he wouldn't have linked two male staff together as Starsky and Hutch.

How on earth can you know that? Jumping to conclusions, what??

You're not allowed to suggest that you shouldn't sit with admin staff or be offended by a comment that you're in a team with someone in a different (less qualified) role than you on here OP. In fact, someone will probably be along right now to tell me that every university admin staff member now has a degree and are paid more than lecturers (might be true).

I think you should use this remark to ask your head of department to get on the case for finding you an office of your own. It is potentially evidence if you were to claim indirect discrimination against your employers that all male lecturers have offices and you had to sit with admin staff for 4 years. How on earth do you deal with pastoral care to students you are assigned if you don't have an office?

I agree that OP should an office/quieter space, but OP's colleague who she has been coupled with, is also a lecturer.

It’s so odd because people do say this stuff to men

in My working life I have heard men referred to as

Chuckle Brothers
Laurel and hardy
Vic and Bob

and many other famous male couplings. Usually not as flattering as Cagney and Lacey tbh.

Not sure where the notion that men never/rarely have this sort of thing said to them

Why are you keeping this stuff in your head?

So does the receptionist think they give lectures together or something? As in two of them at the lectern, taking turns?

Its an odd comment.

In fact, someone will probably be along right now to tell me that every university admin staff member now has a degree and are paid more than lecturers (might be true).

No, but they might be along to tell you that the other person is a lecturer (not admin staff)...

Were you miffed because you look like Mary Beth and not the blonde one?

My thoughts on this are:-

Jesus Christ OP - lighten up!!

And - move on

That is everyday sexism. I imagine he wouldn't have linked two male staff together as Starsky and Hutch.

Why would he not have linked two men in that way? I genuinely can't understand how sexism could be at play here- there is nothing negative about Cagney and Lacey.

I think if you are usually sat with someone in office people do say things like this. Not just singling females out - where’s your other half.
If you want an office I’d chase that up but I’d stick to arguments about noise, privacy etc.
The 2 male investigators at work used to be called Cagney & Lacey sometimes. Reference to fact they were ex police.

Of course they do. It's bizarre to think that men don't use nicknames like that. I've one colleague known as Tonto because he's the assistant. I've two other colleagues referred to as Ted and Dougal!

You're not allowed to suggest that you shouldn't sit with admin staff or be offended by a comment that you're in a team with someone in a different (less qualified) role than you on here OP. In fact, someone will probably be along right now to tell me that every university admin staff member now has a degree and are paid more than lecturers (might be true).

I know this is MN but have you considered reading at least the first few posts of the thread?

Are you concerned that you were thought of as administrative staff?
No.

Could be worse. They could refer to you as The Gruesome Twosome from Wacky Races.

Fuck. I call my two male colleagues Bill and Ben or Statler and Waldorf.

If two people appear to friends who work together well they do get lumped together and compared to famous duos. It's not new. It's not weird.

He would not have said something similar to two male lecturers or two female lecturers who weren't based in the same room as him.

So you found it overfamiliar? Or disrespectful of your position as lecturers? If you are working in the same office space as him some chitchat sounds normal and this comment sounds harmless. Are you projecting your annoyance onto him when the real issue is that you (and your female colleague) aren’t given the proper office space and respect you feel should be by your department?