Irritated at comment at work

[Tuesdaytuesday]

My working environment is a bit odd, in that I am a lecturer but when I started here 4 years ago I was placed on a desk in the large open-plan administrative services office (desk space at a premium) and here I’ve remained. I’ve posted about it before but for different reasons (unable to really focus to work as it is noisy).

I hope this doesn’t make me appear up myself. The person who sits next to me works with me, but I’m full time and she works 3 days. One day last week when she wasn’t in, the (male) receptionist asked me where my partner in crime was and said that he thought of us as Cagney and Lacey. I was surprised, and somewhat irritated. I’ve no idea why someone should think that, never mind say it. My colleague and I aren’t Siamese twins or do everything together though we do attend some meetings together. I chose not to respond to the comment but now wonder if I should have said something. He would not have said something similar to two male lecturers or two female lecturers who weren't based in the same room as him.

What do you think?

I keep any personal discussion respectful is the main thing. As soon as the “ “banter” starts it’s a slippery slope. There was a reason that The Office was so excruciating. - the people making the “hilarious” comments didn’t realise how uncomfortable everyone else was. And we all recognised the behaviour from our own workplaces. It’s best to avoid this at work and keep communication respectful and polite.

Why don't we have an eye roll emoji ...

Really op why don't you say something to his manager, tell the manager that the (male) receptionist, made a commitment that irritated you and he would not have said it to two male lecturers or two female lecturers. Obviously the receptionist was being disrespectful to you and he classified you and the admin colleague as a team. How dare he not know you are superior to admin staff. I guessing you will hope the manager will suspend said receptionist. An enquiry will be carried out and a decision to dismiss the receptionist could be made on the grounds that he was disrespectful of your position. Manager will also take into account that you are physic and would know that the male receptionist would never say this to two male lecturers or two female lecturers and that the trust has broken down between employer and employee. Said male receptionist loses his job and you feel vindicated. Yes I can see what you are up to, you sound nasty entitled miserable.

Wonderful. Personal abuse engaged. Well done you.

Cagney and Lacey is like a gateway drug…. For sexist insults 😂😂😂😂

No, basically the OP is an academic that resents sharing a noisy office when she has ADHD and doesn't want to have to cope with distractions. But that is another issue.

There has been no suggestion of complaining about the comment featured in the original post. That was never on the cards. I am, however, entitled not to like it. Even though I should be grateful that my colleagues want a bit of banter and are comparing me with ass-kicking female detectives and not Elsa and Anna from Frozen.

Feel free to complain to HR @DontBlameMe79 - certainly more valid than the op’s scenario.

🙄[I'm on my chromebook] !

I keep any personal discussion respectful is the main thing. As soon as the “ “banter” starts it’s a slippery slope. There was a reason that The Office was so excruciating. - the people making the “hilarious” comments didn’t realise how uncomfortable everyone else was. And we all recognised the behaviour from our own workplaces. It’s best to avoid this at work and keep communication respectful and polite.

@DontBlameMe79 I'm confused. You said your posts were a joke but now you are carrying on.

Are you saying your rabid posts about a Cagney and Lacy comment being awful are genuine?

But you were making a joke by saying it's beyond the Pale?

I think you have a very niche (or no) sense of humour and it isn't quite working.

Since you've never seen an episode I am wondering what you thought your colleague meant by their comment to you such that it irritated you.
Maybe you have misconceived notions of who C&G were and what they did.

I doubt he was trying to insult or belittle you.

I'd be somewhat irritated too, OP.
It would definitely feel 'off' to me, but I'm unsure whether it's down to everyday sexism, which it could well be, or he's trying to put you down because he's a twat and you're a lecturer.
Probably both.

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron if you feel you entitled to be bothered by it, why did you ask others opinions?

and surely they are also entitled to their opinions on it?

I’m pretty confident that a younger male temp receptionist would not have called two more senior men he didn’t know Starsky & Hutch. Just would not happen, too much chance of him getting a mouth full or worse. But with women, noooo problem.

Where's this idea that he is a younger male temp come from? He is 55 and has been here longer than me.

Dear Lord. How achingly idiotic to get offended by something like this. As for the gateway comment! How do some people manage to sit down with those sticks in their arse. Grow up.

@DontBlameMe79 i am pretty confident they would and make people in work wouldn’t kick off. Because it’s not an insult.

What about it irritates you - can you put your finger on it?

It wouldn't bother me and I have heard similar fun comments re colleagues regardless of sex or work relationship

A lot of inner Colin Robinson channeling going on now….

I don't think he is a twat or was trying to put me down, but I do know (careful how I say it as I'll get brickbats) that I am seen as one of their team as I have been in the office so long. He's a nice enough bloke, and trying to achieve a qualification which I've been helping him out with.

It's true. I started on Cagney and Lacey then moved onto Bodie and Doyle (The Professionals). Before you know it I was mainlining Cracker and Taggart.
Eventually I was dismissed from my job for referring to the security guard as Dixon of Dock Green :(

Ah I get it now, you're making up the narrative as you go along.

I call my MALE bosses Bill and Ben all the time. Have never had a mouthful or worse. Just doesn't happen.

Yes I can walk and chew gum simultaneously. But it doesn’t change the substance of what I’m saying. Our tolerance for this casual sexist and belittling behaviour makes my blood boil, and it’s other women ( I assume) on this thread who are excusing it. Are you all blind to this? How have you been conditioned like this.?

Are you all blind to this? How have you been conditioned like this.?

Because your premise that people wouldn't say this to male colleagues is plain wrong. They do, all the time, as many women (I assume) on here have demonstrated.

I must have missed that, but even more reason for him to know better and on that basis I would go straight to HR and not give him the benefit of the doubt.

How have you been conditioned like this.?

into knowing you are wrong?