To want one room decorated in a less than a 6 month timescale?

[EmeraldSkies]

So annoyed. Every house I see on Instagram uncluttered, wallpapered perfection. How do these women motivate or get their partners on board because I doubt they are doing it themselves, what with childcare and careers! I asked my partner to start on our living room back at beginning of October. The wallpaper was removed and then progress stopped. In the build up to Xmas I waited and waited and nothing happened with the living room out of action. I had to move the furniture back into place on 23rd December and quickly rustle up a Christmas tree in a bare walled room as it was obvious it was not going to be completed. The room has stayed like that until last weekend, some 6 months after the project begun, when I put my foot down and said it's got to be done. Cue, furniture removed again. Had picked out a Farrow & Ball colour months ago, further moaning that it was a 'difficult paint to work with' and he wasn't going to use it (more excuses). Gave up and allowed a colour match with Johnstone's. Ceiling finally painted this weekend after saying it would be completed on the 2nd weekend dedicated to it (started at about 3pm today (Sunday)).

What I need to ask is: how do you motivate the other half to bother? And if you have a 'insta-perfect' house, how do you get buy-in from your other half to do the work? My DH just doesn't seem to care if he lives in a cluttered pit and any kind of home improvement is a massive drag and effort on my part to motivate and move him forward.

Great that you have the experience but, as a millennial, who was priced out of the housing market for ages by older generations, I've never had any projects to work on!

Excuse me!!!

I've decorated 5 bedrooms
Tiled floors
Tiled walls
Stripped old wallpaper
Sanded and varnished floorboards

So get on with it yourself!

Mine is a 1985 textured wallpapered, artexed nightmare throughout. And I do all the wallpaper stripping, sanding and priming. Where there's a will, there's a way 😊

And my house is 150 years old

And you can't blame house prices on older generations blame it on politicians

Jeeeeez

Well now you do have a project.

I'm just so used to being slammed and told I can't do anything so when I attempt this and I get abuse I hope you will all be so satisfied.

Infuriating for you if he was unemployed at the time and this task was part of paying his way. Good that you'll pay someone now but do it with his hobby money now he's working!
And if you fancy learning a bit of DIY (recommend because to me it's a satisfying hobby and gives me pride in completion) learn & practice painting when your powder room or utility needs doing. Smaller room = quicker job = immediate gratification.

I have always just painted whatever house or flat I lives in myself from the age of 16 when I lived along nothing would get done if I waited for dh to do it

If you are a millenial then you will know that there's a YouTube video for everything. Go watch a few and start painting. It seriously isn't hard.

Also F&B looks pretty but is rubbish to paint with.

I've just decorated my stairs and landing, 3 million doors and 90 billion spindles! Dh isn't useless though, he does stuff too.

Don’t take your frustrations out on people on here.
if he says you’ll do a shit job- prove him wrong.
it doesn’t have to look like a show house. Just your home and pride in a job done yourself is great.

I’m a millennial, lone parent, with a full time career, children and pets.

Decorated the whole house myself, including ceilings, woodwork, walls, filling, sanding etc because I made time to do it and didn’t flail around playing the victim and waiting for someone else to do it for me.

Tell your bloke to look after his kids and crack on and do it yourself. You’re not helpless.

My son bought his first house two years ago - a Victorian terrace with very high ceilings. He'd never shown any interest in helping to decorate before then. We helped him move in and DH took out the bath and installed a shower and tiled the bathroom. I helped DS decorate his (loft) bedroom. The decor of the house was interesting. Chandeliers in most rooms, hung so low we all had to duck to miss them; black painted, textured wallpaper in the sitting room. He took on board what I showed him in the week we were there and has surprised us with what he has managed to do on his own - including removing radiators to paint behind. The sitting room could do with replastering but he'll get there in time. You can learn a lot from youtube!

As a millennial you are very lucky to own house so young!

I did it all myself. Built walls, wired electrics ( the electrical safety certificate proves I did pretty well), skimmed, papered, painted, laid floors... Everything.
Ex was not handy at all (and not interested) .

When nursery school asked kids what their parents do as a profession, mine said: "My mum's a builder!" :D

Honestly I think the only thing Unreasonable is that you are still with this waster who won’t pull his own weight and talks down to you.

why is he still in your house if he doesn’t pull his weight or contribute?

You’ve got bigger problems than decorating.

New builds also need to be sanded and washed before painting usually.

I'm a woman so I've always been told I 'won't do it right'. But, yes, I am tempted to take over and risk messing it up just to have it done. The most upsetting is the lies that it will be done on time. My partner had chosen not to work for 2 years up until January. So the expectation was on him to make himself useful whilst I paid all the bills. So the original job that was promised by him to be done is still outstanding. Going forward I certainly will be paying someone - lesson learned.

What's he been doing for 2 years, sitting on his arse? Or has he been a committed and solid SAHP? My answer will differ depending!

Fully agree with the Farrow and Ball Johnsons paint match.

This.

Watch some YouTube videos and give it a go.

If your DH has something to say about it then remind him he's been asked and has failed to get it done so he either needs to shut up or put up.

If you’re a millennial who lives with a bloke who tells you you’re useless whilst he’s unemployed for two years and expects you to pay the bills you really have much bigger issues than not getting the paint work perfect…

Well... you're paying the bills while your waster of husband does nothing. Against all odds and the evil machinations of the 'older generation' ( 🙄) you've managed to buy a house.
Sounds like you're in superwoman territory.

There are a zillion YouTubers who specialise in 'how to' DIY. Watch some relevant ones and have a go. I like The Sorry Girls, Madeline XO and Lone Fox. They're all talented and cute as buttons.

Never underestimate the power of drop cloths and frog tape. A few thin coats is better that trying to whack on a ton of paint all at once.

Honestly though, you learn by doing. If you mess up, it's only paint.

You've bigger problems than an undecorated lounge

FGS, how do you think the rest of us learned? Do you think anyone born before 1980, was blessed with decorating genes? You just give it a go, sometimes make a mess and learn. Same as you did with kids. Personally I don't like painting. The tin always says 2 coats only necessary but it always takes more. And I live in a 1930s house so I understand about naff walls. I love wallpapering, though, and I'm bloody good at it. No joins in sight. Hand the kids to him and just get on with it.

I would be annoyed, though, if he'd taken time off work and hadn't done the jobs he'd promised. Totally shiftless layabout.