To ask why parents bring out clearly ill children for days out

[squiddybear]

Probably going to be shot down in flames!

This week we had a week off and took DS to lots of places - we've always been very very cautious of covid and this was sort of the first time we did lots of things although we did test twice last week to make sure we were still ok to go.

It struck me how many children were being taken out to like the farm park or ceebeebies land who were clearly very unwell. Left to cough all over things, snot dripping down their faces and a few with what looked like HFM or chicken pox. Now I understand that children get ill but to take them to a public place and let them cough and sneeze over everything especially in the wake of covid is just unfair and unnecessary.

For context there was a family we were sitting next too who were there with another mum and child who said school wouldn't have her in but she's fine (said child was pale as a ghost, hacking cough and didn't really want to move!)

I don't understand the logic, if your child is ill then stay at home! Don't spread their germs round to everyone else! AIBU to think this

leaning towards yabu

I’m with you on this. Especially when they look listless and miserable. It’s intensely boring to be sat under a sick toddler but they need a quiet day when they’re not well.

There's a difference between the ones looking like chicken pox or h/f/m and ones with a cold.

Ideally you'd keep kids at home when they're ill but there's a spectrum of ill. Some small children have almost permanent snotty noses/colds. Especially now post-covid everywhere has to be pre-booked and paid for. I can understand not cancelling a family trip somewhere, disappointing everyone and losing £30-100 because one kid has a cold.

Agree it's unfair to the poor kid if they're properly ill though.

Coughing and sneezing at this time of year could be hay fever or a cold, neither which stopped me taking my DC out, if they felt well enough.

As for HF&M and chicken pox - if the DC had those things then clearly the parents are being very unreasonable. You are no longer contagious with CP after 5-6 days though and you still have scabby spots for a while after that.

Yabu in that I bet you a million quid many of those children weren't actually v ill. Chicken pox has done the rounds at my DC school, loads have still got healing spots 3-4 weeks later but are absolutely fine. HFM can be the same and is a mild disease which isnt one you are even required to stay off school/nursery for.

Lots of children will have runny nose or coughs a lot of the time who arent unwell. You could have seen me out with my youngest. She has inhalers and a heart condition that affects her lung function, she constantly has a cough even when she is fine.

Not to mention this past two weeks many people will have been sneezing/eyes and noses streaming due to hayfever.

One thing Covid has taught me is that isolation from mild bugs does not mean avoiding them, it means delaying getting them. Now that my DC are back to school/nursery we've simply had 2 years worth of bugs in one year.

Honestly Ive never seen a child looking "very unwell" at a day trip type location. Truly. I've seen lots of snotty noses, coughs and sneezes, in otherwise healthy kids running round.

Hmm in principle, you’re right it’s unfair on the child and other people around them. Having said that you know nothing about strangers situations. You are judging them all after overhearing one conversation. How do you know they’re not coughing from asthma? Nose streaming from hay fever? Cough but negative lateral flow? Bad eczema/skin condition flare up? We took out kids on a weekend to a theme park recently. The second day my oldest woke up with tonsillitis so although we cut the day short we did go back into the park and on a few rides with my youngest because it was a long drive away and we were already there! In normal circumstances I never would’ve gone on a day out with her feeling that rough.

I definitely agree re chicken pox etc but my DS has had a hacking cough for about 2 months now as a post viral thing. He sounds like he smokes 60 a day. He's fine though and if we stayed at home until it went, god knows when we'd next go out.

These children were clearly unwell. It was not the hayfever type of sneezing etc (trust me as myself and DS have hay fever) I'm talking green snot dripping from noses and hacking coughs to accompany them.

Massive difference between having a cold and having something like chicken pox.

Anyone taking a child out with something like the latter is selfish and ignorant. But you only have to read the posts on here "DD has chicken pox aibu to take her out to play" (where she MAY still be infectious and she MAY come into contact with someone for whom that kind of infection MAY be lethal)

Coughs and colds absolutely ginr to take out as usual, otherwise with little kids you'd never go anywhere!

Chicken pox, once your past the infectious point then again fine.

I think COVID has madeus forget that a lot of people normally have some sort of cold or similar and its fine to carry on gor thr most part

Our nursery says you can still attend with HFM so I wouldnt see an issue with that. Chicken pox spots can linger for a few weeks.

I've also taken an ill child out because we've promised the day out for their sibling and if we cancelled every time our toddler had a sniffle then we would never go out.

@Lazypuppy but this is my point. Covid should have taught us that we shouldn't spread around colds and coughs because we don't know what is lurking beneath them!

My toddler seemingly has a runny nose 95% of the time, she’s absolutely fine. I’d never go anywhere if only took her out when her nose wasn’t a bit snotty.

yanbu but they bring them to nursery too - where they make other kids and the staff poorly too.
Had to stand my ground with a parent on Friday who was determined his ds was fit to be at nursery. The child has a chest infection, is on antibiotics, has an awful hacking cough and looks like hell. The child was literally crying in a horrible hoarse throat way.

I think it's where you've been so cautious OP you have forgotten the snot rot years.

But lots of parents do take their poorly dc out, they think nothing of spreading stomach bugs and just don't think - I've got a sick child and should stop the germs spreading. It doesn't even enter their head.

I had a friend bring her DD round for a play date pre covid.

Turned up and said child had a chest infection and was clearly very unwell in herself. A week later myself and DS both went down with similar symptoms. Mine never developed into the infection but DS did.

I spent many years taking my kids out constantly and have never witnessed what you have. Some kids have snotty noses and are fine. Some kids cough and are fine.

Covid has taught us that you can catch it from asymptomatic people.

My daughter is struggling with every cold she gets, she gets bronchiolitis and ends up in hospital. Doctors say it’s because she was a lockdown baby so hadn’t built up any immune system. It’s important for their own immune systems that children are exposed to these viruses. Kids get at least 8-12 colds a year, if they aren’t feverish and lethargic and just have a runny nose and cough they are fine to be out in my opinion.

Your use of hyperbolic language suggests you are overly cautious yourself and expect everyone else to be the same. I have been a parent for 15 years and not once have I witnessed the scenes of ailment carnage you describe. Sure, if your child is really sick then most people don't take them out. The issue here is your perception of "really unwell" versus the rest of society.

Of course YANBU.

Isn’t it funny that the same people who have no problem parading ill contagious children around the neighbourhood, are possibly the same who shot anyone down for not following lockdown rules for covid!?

I don't disagree with you.

I am classed as CV so have been more cautious than most and prior to covid DS was only 6 months old so we didn't really experience going out like that.

Saying that when I was younger my parents wouldn't have dreamed of taking me out if I was ill.

YABU
My 2 year old has a runny nose a lot. She's had one for the last 3 weeks or so. Should I have kept her in constantly all that time?

Its different if a child is pale and obviously just wants to go back to bed, but fine in themselves with a cough or sneeze, I carry on as normal. Especially now that stuff has to be pre booked - I'm not losing £50 on a family day out because they've got the sniffles.

How close were you getting to these kids to inspect their rashes and know that they had non-scabbed chicken pox?

😂😂😂 but then parents would never leave the house.

And actually COVID has shown us that not getting routine coughs is detrimental to our immune systems, people who haven't mixed for 2 years are now struggling with a common cold.

For the huge majority of people,COVID is a minor cold/flu (not for everyone i know, same as colds/flu arrn't minor for everyone).

All you can do is what you are happy to, don't police everyone else

It was a tractor ride so sat next door to them. They didn't looked scabbed over to me.