To ask why parents bring out clearly ill children for days out

[squiddybear]

Probably going to be shot down in flames!

This week we had a week off and took DS to lots of places - we've always been very very cautious of covid and this was sort of the first time we did lots of things although we did test twice last week to make sure we were still ok to go.

It struck me how many children were being taken out to like the farm park or ceebeebies land who were clearly very unwell. Left to cough all over things, snot dripping down their faces and a few with what looked like HFM or chicken pox. Now I understand that children get ill but to take them to a public place and let them cough and sneeze over everything especially in the wake of covid is just unfair and unnecessary.

For context there was a family we were sitting next too who were there with another mum and child who said school wouldn't have her in but she's fine (said child was pale as a ghost, hacking cough and didn't really want to move!)

I don't understand the logic, if your child is ill then stay at home! Don't spread their germs round to everyone else! AIBU to think this

We did. We specifically went when schools weren't off and no inset days in the local area! We also picked outdoor attractions for this very purpose

Like PP have said. sometimes you have a day-out planned with multiple family members. A few family members look iffy in the morning but you don't want to cancel everyone's plans, especially when the iffy ones might be fine in an hour.

With minor bugs (actually for kids, Covid is most often a very minor bug), kids can go down or up very fast or their symptoms rumble on at an intermittant low level for weeks. You'd never go anywhere fun if you always assumed the worst.

Between them my three and one year old have had a dripping nose, a hacking cough or both for the past three weeks. We've had days when they've been too unwell to go out (including time off work for me) but are you really saying we shouldn't have gone out for three weeks?

There are some arsehole parents. I was in a supermarket the other day and saw staff clearing up vomit in the middle of the store. When I got to the exit there were two small boys, one of whom then vomited just outside the door of the supermarket. The parent had clearly taken them both shopping when one was feeling sick and s/he hadn't even left the store when the DC vomited, they carried on shopping, just sent the DC out of the store to wait while they finished!!

I do agree esp if they are looking white and should be in bed but I know I have also been that parent. When DC was little he came down with a high temp and just generally unwell with a virus.

We had booked tickets for a special event at a kids theme park with another family and they were non refundable. Checked with the other family, they were happy for us to go so DC was in pram most the day. Enjoyed the lights and atmosphere a few rides but was a bit off.

Guess everyone has there own how sick do I have to be not to go (same with work). S&D no way would I have gone, would have been tempted to still go with chicken pox if the kid was alright in themselves and most definitely would go with a runny nose / cough (that’s a weekly occurrence).

If I stayed at home every-time my kids had a cough or a cold we'd never leave the house.

For young children, afaik, they can attend school after a 3 day 'solation' if they have tested positive for covid. However, when we believed my dgc had it recently (entire family had it at same time), we were advised that children under 5 don't need to be tested and isolation oy applies if they have a temperature, which they didn't. If it hadn't been the school holidays, they would have been expected to attend school, so to be honest, I cant get wound up over them going out to a farm for a visit.
I agree with the pp's who said that the isolation over the last two years has made other, minor illnesses such as colds, worse. I had a cold just after Christmas and it was the worst one I've had in many, many years. Hadn't had any for the last two years. It was much worse than the covid I got last month - if I didn't have a few tests left from when we were testing for work, I wouldn't have realised I had covid.

I’m in agreement. I don’t text my kids everytime they have a cough either. There are colds etc doing the rounds at nursery and nursery are good at letting us know when there has been covid there.

but life goes on. We go out and about.

DD regularly gets coughs and chest infections and she's still right as rain in herself. I'm not going to keep her and me at home just in case there's a once in a lifetime underlying virus that's never existed before.

If she's actually unwell we'll stay home, but she's not staying locked up so you can take your child on the occasional day out - outdoors where you're highly unlikely to catch anything anyway - without putting your judgey pants on.

Sorry OP, YABU.

I just think some parents drag their sick kids out because they don’t want their own plans spoilt. Sometimes they have other kids and don’t want the inevitable sulking/ tantrums if they say the day out is off. So they try and wing it.
yeah it is selfish really.

And times have definitely changed. When I was a kid (in the 70s), there was a lot more awareness and care about spreading infection. There was “quarantine” for things like chicken pox. It was understood that kids could get really Poorly from childhood diseases.

How are children going to build their immune systems?
You should read this:
www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/05/180521131746.htm

So a family who had booked and paid for non refundable tickets should ALL miss out because ONE member of their party is snotty/coughing, just to pander to your health anxiety? Get a grip! Kids get ill, and as others have said, it’s good for them!

Aka, it'll be full of preschoolers, also known as the group who are going to be full of snot precisely because they haven't yet built their immune systems via the Years of Snot.

You won't do your DC any favours by trying to stand between them and the snot years. Your expectations are not compatible with reality.

I was at the playground last week. A granny who was looking after her grandkids said they had chicken pox (one with spots and one brewing it) but they needed to get out of the house. Which I can understand. Their parents were in the states and the poor woman looked tired. It was responsible of her to tell us and the playground was big enough for us both.

Normally I’d be far more relaxed but we’re off to Florida next week and youngest ds hasn’t had them so we kept well away. But I would have taken my kids home rather than suggesting she leave if I had greater concerns.

I think you are being overly anxious about illness OP.
Your child will likely catch continuous colds and viruses too.
Also sone people just cough (I do) because of underlying conditions.

Mine are past this stage but I'd never have left the house with my youngest if your suggestion applied! He caught everything and had a perpetual cold for over 3 years, it was awful. We were also told that HFM was only 24 hours off school so when my oldest got it he had to go in once well in himself. I think post covid there's many more bugs around as we catch up and I wouldn't stay in just because of a cold tbh.

The amount of snot my three year old is capable of producing doesn't seem to be related to how well she is. I think she must be part hagfish. She can have disgusting slimy trails sneaking out of her nose all day and still be perfectly well in herself, so I wouldn't use that as an indicator of whether or not she's well enough to go somewhere!

hahaha I was brought up in the 'unless you're covered in blood, projectile vomiting or unconscious, it's business as usual'. We survived!

And yet most kids in the 70's still caught chicken pox!
Which is just as well as catching it as an adult can be a lot worse.

Yanbu! Last time we went out to eat with MIL there was a little one on the table next to us with a really barking cough, she was wheezing and the cough and struggling to breathe normally! I was terrified she had croup and my 9 week old newborn would catch it from her. Anything more than a cold (unless not catching and child feels well) they should be at home.

DD went through a phase after she started nursery of being permanently snotty for about six weeks. She was absolutely fine in herself, just generating a lot of snot. We do a lot of activities and I've never seen anything like what you've described. Snotty kids, sure, young kids often are, but not hordes of actually unwell children. I can't imagine it's enjoyable taking out children who actually are unwell either v just snotty or with lingering coughs. Coughs can last ages on kids too.

You're not meant to be testing anymore. What's the point of twice weekly testing now

That’s a cold. I wouldn’t keep mine home from that.

I have an 18 month old with glue ear. Her nose streams constantly

Yes but it wasn’t constantly doing the rounds like it is now. People weren’t so complacent. And I personally know two families that lost children to chicken pox.

The best way to avoid chicken pox is to vaccinate. Far better than encouraging the spread of it.

I felt like you then my toddler started nursery and I realised if we stayed at home everytime she had a snotty nose we'd never go out. So now I make the judgement based on how she seems. If she's happy we can go out if she's tired and just wants cuddles we don't. I don't think I'd go out with chicken pox for a day out with other kids but to the supermarket etc, fine needs must.