To ask why parents bring out clearly ill children for days out

[squiddybear]

Probably going to be shot down in flames!

This week we had a week off and took DS to lots of places - we've always been very very cautious of covid and this was sort of the first time we did lots of things although we did test twice last week to make sure we were still ok to go.

It struck me how many children were being taken out to like the farm park or ceebeebies land who were clearly very unwell. Left to cough all over things, snot dripping down their faces and a few with what looked like HFM or chicken pox. Now I understand that children get ill but to take them to a public place and let them cough and sneeze over everything especially in the wake of covid is just unfair and unnecessary.

For context there was a family we were sitting next too who were there with another mum and child who said school wouldn't have her in but she's fine (said child was pale as a ghost, hacking cough and didn't really want to move!)

I don't understand the logic, if your child is ill then stay at home! Don't spread their germs round to everyone else! AIBU to think this

If the kids were feeling well enough to be playing and enjoy the tractor then they were well enough to be out.
Sick and miserable stay home (or if you have siblings and big plans and they aren't really sick, put them in a buggy and let them size). D&V or fever stay home.
Snotty/ coughing/rashy but well in self, go out.

I don’t agree with taking your child out who is still in the contagious stage of chicken pox!! I took my DD out yesterday to the park and there was a child who was covered in chicken pox, they hadn’t crusted over yet so they were clearly still contagious. DD is only 18 months so likes running over to other children, I’ve never run so fast in my life to take her away! I’n currently 19 weeks pregnant and never had chicken pox so it wouldn’t have been good for me! I had one dose of the vaccine 8 years ago so it’s still a bit of a worry. Like a PP said, I guarantee that parent locked their child away during covid! But hey no issue with the pox.

Absolutely not a criticism but you say in your OP that you've always been 'very very cautious' of covid. Perhaps that mindset of caution has influenced how you view other people who appear to be taking a different approach?

You've primed yourself to be hyper-vigilant to illness in others (and you may have good reason to be hyper-vigilant, hence my 'not a criticism' remark) so you're going to notice it more that you perhaps would have done three years ago. Kids' play and activity places have always been germy - it's natural and just how things are with kids I think.

My niece has asthma and allergies and is always like this. Should she never leave the house?

With regard to chickenpox, you can get your child privately vaccinated against that if you wish, OP.

And this has been een the problem throughout covid, selfish and socially irresponsible people like you.

I agree with you, a child that unwell and just listlessly sitting about( as you put in your first post) should be at home.

I agree it's really anti social on others. And not right for the child.

I agree. If you don't let children build immunity when they're young, you risk breeding teenagers who get sick at important times like GCSEs from things they would have had mildly as a toddler and built immunity to.

times have definitely changed. When I was a kid (in the 70s), there was a lot more awareness and care about spreading infection. There was “quarantine” for things like chicken pox. It was understood that kids could get really Poorly from childhood diseases.

Eh? People used to have chicken pox parties to ensure they got it as a child, because it's much worse to get it later.

We also have better medical treatments now and more vaccinations available.

If I’d stayed in every time one of my kids was snotty or coughing as toddlers I’d never have left the house. Also, once chicken pox is scabbed over they are fine to go out.

@MissyB1 'The best way to avoid chicken pox is to vaccinate. Far better than encouraging the spread of it.'

• No it's not that's why the chicken pox vaccine is not a routine childhood NHS vaccination www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaccinations/chickenpox-vaccine-questions-answers/

@OfstedOffred - some people had chicken pox parties, most people thought that was a terrible idea and didn't.

My mum was a paediatric registrar back then, and we definitely didn't.

One of my kids had leukemia as a child. That meant they were often crashed out during meals/when they had a chance to sleep because it meant they then had the energy to do the other things that was fun for them. Kids can be chronically ill too. I’m not saying that was definitely the case, but you have no idea what was going on.

@Olivestone What the article you linked is saying is that, if the chickenpox vaccine were introduced, children whose parents didn't choose to vaccinate them would be at higher risk of getting it as adults, when it's more serious.
Also, those people who aren't vaccinated would be at higher risk of getting shingles. (There is also a vaccine available for shingles, however.)

I chose to protect my children. They are my priority.

They are the same people who turn up at work and tell you they've been up all night vomiting whilst they spit all over your morning coffee. Selfish. That said, not all kids that look ill need to stay home. Young kids have permenant coughs and colds and when my daughter gets a cough it lasts weeks. Also chicken pox isn't contaigous once it's all scabbed over and they can look spotty for a while. I think most parents are sensible about this but there are always those who aren't. I always try to follow the back to school rules in terms of taking the kids out in public once they've been ill.

@ChoiceMummy Do you expect every child to be tested for Covid every time they are ill?

If I waited for my 4YO to not be snotty or not be coughing we literally wouldn't see daylight for half the year. If she's well enough in herself and isn't known to have a dangerous disease then sorry but I'm taking her out to enjoy life and couldn't give a crap what anyone thinks. Most viral infections are totally harmless even if you do catch them and they're a fact of life. We seem to have forgotten this...

I agree and disagree.

I know someone who drags her kid allover when hes poorly and obviously doesnt want to be anywhere but home but then i know kids who are snotty 365 days a year so fair enough

@Marynotsocontrary which is most children as the NHS does not offer the chicken pox vaccine as routine! It's not recommend as for most children it's a mild illness and then they have lifelong natural immunity. Why mess with natural immunity?

urghh , i agree with you , theres no way i would have taken dd on a day out to a place loads of other kids would be in that state when she was little . its just gross and spreads whatever they have to other kids , just inconsiderate really

There is a balance to be had re childhood infections though. Yes, building up the immune system is important, but many, many children used to die of colds before advances in modern medicine and I think we've forgotten how vulnerable the young can be. Both my parents (now in their 80s) lost infant siblings. Now, medicine has improved but some babies and young children are still at risk and a minority don't make it. Babies and young children have narrower airways that get blocked easily by inflammation, and lots of them end up in hospital with bronchialitis etc.

I haven't had a cold in two years or so.
I am absolutely dreading it. I get really bad colds anyway but I'm in no way prepared for what's to come. I've seen some at work after the mask wearing was no longer compulsory and wow were they Ill. So much so that after the last message went out to no longer wear masks I continued for several weeks. I can see come winter I will wear a mask anyway. Although I'm just putting off the inevitable, I dont care, I dont want the cold.

They didn't die of colds. NOBODY has died of the common cold or similar. They died due to lack of vaccination against serious viruses and also lack of antibiotics for bacterial infections and general lack of knowledge re medical support if they became seriously unwell. It's common sense. If your kid has a bit of a cough and a runny nose but are otherwise causing their usual mischeif then they're fair game to be going about their usual business just as we'd be expected to go to work in the same state. If they're feverish/vomitting/diarrhoea/too lethargic to even want to be anywhere but home then keep them at home. It isn't rocket science. We need to be sensible and considerate but life has to go ok too

@Marynotsocontrary you can't choose what builds up your child's immune system!

With all due respect, it’s your own responsibility to get yourself vaccinated against chicken pox if you are worried about it before you get pregnant. That’s not anyone else’s fault.