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Original poster

To be pissed off - or do I need to chill

762 replies

marshmallowbooks · 06/05/2022 23:36

Genuine question

DH doesn't go out very often anymore. We are both in our 40s, we work full time, we have kids, life etc etc

However - whenever he DOES go out - it usually ends in disaster.
He doesn't seem to have a stop button. There's usually bodily fluids involved , sometimes more than one, and he often loses/breaks his phone 🙄. He's always terrible at keeping in touch, doesn't reply to texts etc. I always get anxious when he goes out as I don't know when he's going to be home or what he's going to be like (never violent).

Anyway, he's out tonight for a reunion. Before he left, he assured me he would keep in touch. He assured me he wouldn't get too drunk and bring anyone back to the house (this has happened on a couple
Of occasions - with friends). He assured me he wouldn't go back to anyone's house for an after party once the pub was closed yada yada.

I text him about 3 hours ago to let him know one of the kids seems to have chicken pox. No answer.

Text him an hour or so later.....no answer.

The thing that REALLY pisses me
Off is that his phone is never out of his hand at home. Between his phone and smart watch he is always replying
To texts/WhatsApp/emails - ALL THE TIME. It annoys me that he will have seen my texts come in but has ignored them.

So - should I be annoyed? Should I be royally pissed off tomorrow (which realistically Will be the next time I see him)
OR should I just assume he's having a great time with people he's not seen for years and too occupied to reply or look at any texts.

He's also out with the same group tomorrow evening for part two of the reunion!

OP posts:
Blarting · 14/05/2022 09:48

toomuchlaundry · 14/05/2022 09:45

Going into work is normally necessary, socialising is not. If we have a stomach bug going round the house DH would probably WFH so minimise risk of him carrying it to the office

You do realise 1000s people can't work from home? So the whole aren't we great DH will work from home, applies to few.

Anyway the OP isn't asking what you think about him socialising when a child has a bug.

Blarting · 14/05/2022 09:49

marshmallowbooks · 14/05/2022 09:45

He said he would stay and I told him to go. Both kids feeling much better and happy under blankets watching films. No point in us both being in, and he'll be back just after lunch.

Great! Hope he enjoys, comes home ok (I'm sure he will) and you enjoy the rest of the weekend.

toomuchlaundry · 14/05/2022 09:49

That’s why I said going into work is normally necessary @Blarting

notagamer · 14/05/2022 10:10

marshmallowbooks · 14/05/2022 09:45

He said he would stay and I told him to go. Both kids feeling much better and happy under blankets watching films. No point in us both being in, and he'll be back just after lunch.

So it’s not an evening thing, just a few hours in the morning until afternoon?

notagamer · 14/05/2022 10:12

He has said he won’t go out with some afterwards?

Given both his children are I’ll and his wife is back home alone with them - it would be pretty bloody appalling if he did!

notagamer · 14/05/2022 10:13

Be careful not to think he’s being thoughtful and responsive OP

when actually he is just being a half way decent human being and the alternative would be shocking!

notagamer · 14/05/2022 10:15

On your other threads your eldest turned 7 in 2021?

Original poster
marshmallowbooks · 14/05/2022 10:39

@notagamer as previously discussed (at length). This is a small snippet of our family life.

I could tell you that it was him that was up all night with DS as he vomited very 30 mins, or that it's him that that gets up with them most mornings. I could tell you a million things that on every other thread would show that he's not the devil
In disguise or that I should break up put family unit and run for the hill because of the content of this thread (again, a snippet of our lives)

And thanks for going through my previous threads. I NC for a reason, and have changed details for a reason, it's nice of you to play miss marple on my thread and felt the need to highlight any anomalies.

OP posts:
notagamer · 14/05/2022 10:41

No because you made big play on how young the children were and they wouldn’t have got what was going on

but an 8 year old sitting in her father’s piss is a bit a different

anyway - along the way you lost sight of your anger, fury and distress in the op.

now all seems rosy.

so enjoy the weekend and hope your children improve quickly

Original poster
marshmallowbooks · 14/05/2022 10:43

It wasn't an 8 year old. It was my youngest DC.

And it doesn't make a difference, but you've came to an untrue conclusion.

OP posts:
Original poster
marshmallowbooks · 14/05/2022 10:45

And I didn't make a big play....someone asked me how old the Dc were. I never mentioned their ages in my OP.

I haven't lost sight of my anger, I've turned it into something else and right now I can either decide to trust DH and change things for the better...:or feel angry and bitter, constantly remind him how disgusting he is and leave.

I've chosen the former. Perhaps I'll be back on here in a years time in the same situation, I hope not, but I can't predict the future.

Thanks, I hope you have a nice weekend too.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 15/05/2022 09:42

How is the weekend going so far OP?

Original poster
marshmallowbooks · 15/05/2022 21:49

@youvegottenminuteslynn it's been good, thanks for asking ☺️. DD is over the worst of the chicken pox and DS hasn't been sick since yesterday lunchtime 🤞

DH and I have had a great week, I'm really pleased we both opened up last week, it really has made a difference on several levels.

OP posts:
Blarting · 16/05/2022 08:44

notagamer · 14/05/2022 10:15

On your other threads your eldest turned 7 in 2021?

Very poor form AS a name change fail.

Blarting · 16/05/2022 08:45

marshmallowbooks · 15/05/2022 21:49

@youvegottenminuteslynn it's been good, thanks for asking ☺️. DD is over the worst of the chicken pox and DS hasn't been sick since yesterday lunchtime 🤞

DH and I have had a great week, I'm really pleased we both opened up last week, it really has made a difference on several levels.

Communication is always important, keep the talking going.

Stomacharmeleon · 17/05/2022 14:43

@Blarting because if I had two children with very spreadable illnesses I wouldn't be encouraging my other half to go out with other people socialising- very much a choice unlike work. It's irresponsible.

Blarting · 17/05/2022 15:29

Stomacharmeleon · 17/05/2022 14:43

@Blarting because if I had two children with very spreadable illnesses I wouldn't be encouraging my other half to go out with other people socialising- very much a choice unlike work. It's irresponsible.

But if the DF has already had chicken pox (which most adults have) how can he spread it?

Do you expect nurses, post people, fireman to stay home be cause they might carry a bug?

You don't even have to stay home with covid now.

Stomacharmeleon · 17/05/2022 15:41

Just because you don't HAVE too doesn't mean you shouldn't. I would be concerned more about getting a sickness bug...

TeatimeGlitter · 17/05/2022 16:54

@Blarting not coming for the OP as she probably didn't know, but people can and do get chicken pox more than once (it's just unlikely) and people who have it are contagious for 2 days before the rash (symptoms) appear, so will spread it whilst thinking they're fully healthy.

I know this as my brother's MIL was looking after a child with chicken pox and was advised to not see my brother's newborn due to the risk of her getting it again and then spreading it to the newborn.

Blarting · 17/05/2022 16:55

Stomacharmeleon · 17/05/2022 15:41

Just because you don't HAVE too doesn't mean you shouldn't. I would be concerned more about getting a sickness bug...

Sorry but I won't be isolating with Covid, you can't police people if they should attend work or not, so I'd stop trying. Your input on the thread as germ police, added nothing! It's just trying to dictate what you think should happen, but no one needs to do that.

Original poster
marshmallowbooks · 17/05/2022 18:30

TeatimeGlitter · 17/05/2022 16:54

@Blarting not coming for the OP as she probably didn't know, but people can and do get chicken pox more than once (it's just unlikely) and people who have it are contagious for 2 days before the rash (symptoms) appear, so will spread it whilst thinking they're fully healthy.

I know this as my brother's MIL was looking after a child with chicken pox and was advised to not see my brother's newborn due to the risk of her getting it again and then spreading it to the newborn.

That's madness, adults aren't expected to isolate if their children have the chicken pox or a sickness bug. It's not even feasible.

Yea fair enough if an adult DOES have chicken pox or shingles, or DOES have a sickness bug, then stay at home.

As it happens, no one else got the sickness bug (miraculously).

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 17/05/2022 19:08

You don’t have to isolate but I wouldn’t be socialising if all the DC in the house were ill

TruthHertz · 17/05/2022 19:18

If it's only now and again I couldn't get too wound up. He'll certainly suffer more than you if he drinks too much. Don't be a nagging wife. 😂

youvegottenminuteslynn · 17/05/2022 19:45

@TruthHertz

A 'nagging wife'?

I sort of hope you're a bloke as it's even more depressing when women come out with this sort of phrase.

What do you think she should do, be what you consider a good wife and clean up her husband's piss from the sofa once her kids have already sat in it, to let him have a lie in and recover 🙄

Blarting · 17/05/2022 20:00

toomuchlaundry · 17/05/2022 19:08

You don’t have to isolate but I wouldn’t be socialising if all the DC in the house were ill

Why not? You're not ill? Would you have not socialised pre covid?

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