DS's classmate called me fat

[Feelingblahhing]

Just that!
8 year old boys in the afterschool club and my son tells me on the way home that his classmate came up to him and said "your mum is fat"!!
This boy's mum would be mortified if she knew but he'd obviously lie so there's no point in telling her.

However, it's really made me feel sad! I know it shouldn't but it has. Stupid isn't it?

Oh well, I shan't be taking that boy to the park again!

Why wouldn't you tell his mum. You also need to tell the teacher. That rude, little shit needs to be dealt with.

Kids can be very hurtful op, I'm sorry. Are you upset because it's quite a hurtful thing to hear or is it because you are concerned your ds will be embarrassed by your weight (assuming you are overweight, apologies I am trying to ask in a tactful way)

I worry about this happening to my DC.

Does mum ever ask you for fovours?

if so next time say no and tell her why!

But why not just speak about it now to the mother? Maybe OL gets favours off of her as well?

This sounds more childish than the children.

Are you fat?
Was he just stating a fact?

Maybe this could be time to look at your lifestyle

That’s awful^!

It doesn’t matter if OP is fat … the child should know not to be calling people names!

This is why kids bully because parents go in with the ‘stating facts line!’

elizabethdraper

you do understand the basics of social etiquette right?
would it be fine if someone was unattractive for a kid to say ‘your mums ugly’ or is it just overweight people who can be randomly insulted?

Fat people know they are fat they don’t need rude kids/adult’s pointing it out. I’d say something to her, not because of my feelings but because of my sons.

I’d tell the mum and report the kid to the school too. You won’t be the first, but this needs to be added to the presumably lost list of nastiness from this child.

This is harsh but I kind of agree in a way - it's clearly something you're sensitive about otherwise you wouldn't care what an 8yo says, they say all kinds of rubbish. I would look at how you feel about your weight/appearance and work on that (ie work on losing weight OR work on being happier in your skin)

It's not something that would upset me and you need to look at why you've allowed a child's comment to upset you to the extent you turn to mn for reassurance.

Kids are weird and sometimes rude.
Soon enough this boy will say someone else's mother is fat and a less nice boy than your son is going to beat him up 🙊

I know this but children don't always

Sometimes it is stating facts

A child could be asking a very genuine question "why is your mother fat"
Rather than "your mother is if fat nah nah"

It is all about context

This happened to DD (and me!) but the funniest thing about it is that the dad of the girl that said it is so obese he can't walk properly. I'm a size 14.

I told her she was well within her rights to tell this girl to piss off. I've no time for wee shites like that.

Get out with all that "are you fat? Maybe you need to work on yourself" BS. What a load of crap. The OP doesn't need to change herself because an 8yo called her fat. Rather, the 8yo needs pulling up on not using unnecessary words and if he doesn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Absolutely no need for that comment, I would tell his mum OP. I'd be horrified if my children said that about someone else.

My son did this recently to me, because it was the worst insult he could think of. He told me that later. Maybe it was just that.

Im a size 16/18 and workout 5 times a week, eat healthier than most people I know thank you very much @elizabethdraper

My son said he told the teacher so, to be fair, she should have mentioned it to the other mum at collection time. If I text her now, her son will obviously lie and say he didn't.

The park thing is an irregular thing, myself and another class mum might sometimes take a few of the boys to the park if the weather is nice and drop them home on our walk home. It's not expected or asked for. Literally decided on the day.

Unless it's part of an ongoing pattern of nastiness towards your DS, I think you should let it go. 'You're mum's fat' is one of the oldest insults in the book, often irrespective of the mums weight, and if parents haven't talked to their DC about the issues around saying it, you complaining to them won't change much.
Better spend your time teaching your DS that the insults of rude people are nothing either of you need be concerned by, and perhaps some suitable responses. 'Yeah, so what?' tends to be a bit of a conversation stopper.

Do you talk about your own children this way as well? Calling an 8 year old little shit... shame on you.

Your, not you're obviously.

Do you have a thyroid problem?

He needs to learn not to say hurtful things even if they are true.

Children say things like this all the time. They speak as they find. It may be rude but they haven't always learnt that. As a teacher I've had my appearance commented on both rudely and as compliments .

You sound happy and healthy - why have you given this boy's comment a second thought then...?!

My response would have been "wow that was rude of your friend" and literally not given it a second thought...?