DS's classmate called me fat

[Feelingblahhing]

Just that!
8 year old boys in the afterschool club and my son tells me on the way home that his classmate came up to him and said "your mum is fat"!!
This boy's mum would be mortified if she knew but he'd obviously lie so there's no point in telling her.

However, it's really made me feel sad! I know it shouldn't but it has. Stupid isn't it?

Oh well, I shan't be taking that boy to the park again!

@GlowUp2022 you can stop your kids being mean thats for sure you could say being overweight is unhealthy no need to think its ok for them to go around calling people fat being underweight is also bad for you are you teaching them that, being unkind also makes you quite unpopular
Millions have managed to bring up polite children, its really basic parenting

This can be one nasty site at times and judging by how some answer on here its not surprising we have bullies etc
I bet though if there child is on the receiving end of something they don't like they will soon be saying something or demanding something is done

@elizabethdraper why not stupid its just a word like fat? You think one is ok to use why not the other
Double standards

I don’t know how you teach a child that calling someone “fat” isn’t the same as commenting on their hair colour, without teaching them that being fat is an undesirable characteristic

Being rude about another person, about whatever shape or form is an undesirable characteristic! Teach your child to be polite and kind.

🙄

"Is this for real? Because that is so incredibly heavy handed and ott. In fact I’d say it verges on bullying they child. I really hope you’ve exaggerated. Because this isn’t ok."

Of course it's real. Don't be ridiculous. I've taught thousands of children and know when something is said maliciously. Of course he was told off by the Head and his parents were told about it. He then had six ELSA sessions as it wasn't the first time he'd intentionally made cruel comments to someone (though the first time to an adult). He is much improved. Overlooking this sort of thing in young children 'because they speak as they find' is a mistake imo.

You said it yourself that you are a size 16/18. Which 100% puts you in the " fat category ". The kid wasn't being mean. Just telling a fact.
You get upset because you know its true.. which I understand too.

Well is it true??

So it's also ok to call someone ugly, or thick?

Children of this age absolutely do know that unkind thoughts should not be shared.

If you are teaching kids that they can say anything they want because it's true, you are not going to end up with very nice kids (or adults).

For example, pp who think the most important point is whether it was true or not, probably didn't receive very good instruction themselves when they were children.

He might have been being mean, he might just be stating fact, as we weren’t there and don’t know the lad, we don’t know.

the thing about being overweight is it must go unmentioned. It doesn’t matter if someone is actually fat. It’s seen as deeply offensive to actually point it out

so this lad is eight, there is a chance he was just saying it as he saw it. Or he was using it as a way to be mean to the ops son and knew it would be hurtful to point it out. None of us know, all we know is it upset the op and it upset her son to hear it.

He's 8! He's either saying this is a stupid way of trying to wind up your son or just saying it because he thinks it. I'm a teacher and a perfectly lovely child asked my TA why she had such a fat bum the other day.

Lol kids say some awful stuff. We were all brought up to be nice and kind and not to be hurtful. But when my little brother was tiny he would always comment on people. She is so fat etc. One day he told an adult around 3ft tall, you haven't been eating your vegetables have you. My mum was absolutely mortified. He grew up to be soft hearted and not mean at all.
I've had kids say awful things to me . Just laugh it off

8 year olds say all sorts. Don't worry about it.

I agree. "You're fat" is such an immature, primary school insult, its almost laughably silly. On the same level as being called a "poopy bum" or something equally as dumb. The people advising to freeze the mum out or reporting to the school are being ridiculous and as for the people calling the kid a "little shit"- you are just as bad as he is, actually you are worse because you are supposed to be a mature adult, at least he has the excuse of being an immature kid. If it really bothers you, I'd educate my child about the best way to handle insults in a mature and dismissive way and how to not let things like this affect your self esteem because validation comes from within. This is a good life skill because you will experience insults/slights in adult life too. The people advising you to freak out, report and using swear words to describe the child are being appalling role models for children.

I agree.

My dd doesn’t get on with a girl in her class. This girl has a lot of family issues and can be mean to her classmates. She sometimes says to my DD ‘your mum is ugly’. DD gets upset on my behalf, but I genuinely don’t care about a 9 year old’s opinion of me. I can’t even get worked up about it.

If it’s really touched a nerve with you, ask yourself why.

But people take offence at it, there are people on here more upset than the op is, just at the very thought of it, and have hurled abuse at the child. Someone even called him a “nasty little shit” and I’m assuming that’s an adult, someone else is describing excessive and ongoing punishments o a child who did similar.

The truth is for some people pointing out someone is fat is a terrible terrible crime, even if it’s a child doing it, it’s perceived as unforgivable.

Its not comparable to being called ugly as some PPs have said, beauty is subjective being fat isn’t. OP is fat she’s admitted that, so the boy was stating a fact, yes he didn’t have much tact but do 8 year old boys?! Like PP said if we do a be kind talk about about peoples weight then it alerts kids to the fact that being big is ‘less’ which may amplify the problem.

You’re as rude as the child was. Manners and consideration go a long way.

8 year olds are old enough to know you don’t say things like this even if they are true.

Oh stop being so precious.

8 year olds are still 8 year olds.

He didn’t (and almost certainly wouldn’t) say it to you, and they say all sorts of stupid nonsense to each other.

Your Ds did the right thing telling their teacher, and he told you.

Support your Ds to keep ‘doing the right thing’ and not be susceptible to any stuff, whatever it might be, designed to have a go at him.

Because the way these thing usually are is a sparring match between kids.

Personally I wouldn’t give two hoots about anything an 8 year old said about me.

Why am I rude?

I am fat, I know I am fat. I am working on my fatness with a counsellor to deal with my disordered eating and also have a pt. I train 3 times a week and eat healthy

But I am still fat - this is a fact

If any of my children came home and said Johnny said you are fat.

My response would, well he is right, I am fat. That's why I go to the gym and we have lots of healthy food in the house.

There is no need for all this anger and calling children names.

The next thing that will happen is little Michael is going to tell little Johnny that his mother called him a little shite and a bully.

Which is worse?

Everyone has different skills and no one is stupid. We might do stupid thibgs, but we are not stupid

, I have dyslexia and was called stupid the whole way through school by adults but I am far from stupid.

I am absolutely fat and Everyone can see my fatness.
And it is okay to be fat.

And if you want to talk about double standards
Unacceptable
8 year boy with undeveloped empathy calling someone's ma fat

Acceptable
A grown ass adult calling a child a nasty little shit

If you are teaching kids that they can say anything they want because it's true, you are not going to end up with very nice kids (or adults).

And they’ll also end up with no friends. Tact and kindness are important things to learn.