DS's classmate called me fat

[Feelingblahhing]

Just that!
8 year old boys in the afterschool club and my son tells me on the way home that his classmate came up to him and said "your mum is fat"!!
This boy's mum would be mortified if she knew but he'd obviously lie so there's no point in telling her.

However, it's really made me feel sad! I know it shouldn't but it has. Stupid isn't it?

Oh well, I shan't be taking that boy to the park again!

They’re 8, I’d let it go.

It’s upsetting to hear but kids often say things without thinking or meaning it in a vindictive way, however, if he continues to say such things then I think the matter should be raised with the after school club.

In the meantime I’d discuss with your DS an appropriate response.

How did your DS seem to you when he told you? Did he just tell you in a factual way or was he telling you that the boy had been mean?

'Your mum' insults are as old as time.

Wouldn't take it personally unless you are fat and in that the kid is either an arsehole or just stating a fact.

If it helps OP, I've just told DD, now adult, about this thread. We both remembered her saying that to her best friend at a similar age. To which her friend replied 'Yours is fatter'.
Friends mum was pregnant. I was a size 8.

A boy at DS's school told him he was fat. He's literally a beanpole! Same boy also said he is adopted (he's not and even if he was it's hardly an insult). 8 year old boys are dicks OP, their finest clapback being 'yer mum'.

Some kids are little shits that grow into shitty adults.

Not every child is a sweet little cherub 🙄

It's not something to get unduly upset about, it's just 8 year old silliness.

No, the boy shouldn't have said it, but 8 year olds are short on empathy and maturity.

Exactly. I would call that being a rude, little shit. I have a ds and he wouldn't dare to speak to anyone like that.

I'm a size 16, I'm definitely fat. Pretending otherwise would just be fooling myself.

Plenty of people are overweight in the UK. Even more since lockdowns lol. I don't see why you're upset. Kids often just say what they see.

P.s. I would tell my DC off if I heard them commenting negatively about how someone looked. So I think a word with the mum to say you're upset is warranted.

These comments are funny! so calling people rude names is fine if it’s just saying what you see? At 8 it’s beyond just saying what they see age pretty much all 8 year olds would know calling someone fat is rude, I have an 8 year old and he wouldn’t dream of calling anyone fat.

OP is overweight but I’d be shocked at my 9 year old if he said something like that to anyone

For heaven’s sake - some kids are little shits.

🙄

This! And passing it off as kids silliness is ridiculous. One nasty name leads to another and then you wonder how the bully came about. Address it with the teacher op.

I'm overweight, I still don't think that gives anyone the right to abuse me in the street for it, including a child.

How many threads we read on here about people being hurled abuse on the streets (often threads about weight)? Yea all those little shits who got away with it at 8, that's who they are.

Kids who have parents who explain at a young age that personal comments, such as big nose/old/fat are unkind usually grow out of it at a young age, unless there are other issues.
Those who have parents who say "Aww bless, he's only saying what he sees" might still be making those comments as old as this boy.

Exactly that has happened to me (including misogyny as he called me a fucking fat bitch) as he drive past.... Unchallenged abuse starts somewhere.

Of course they know it’s rude which is why they do it. They think they either being hilarious or incredibly clever and it is an easy way to insult each other. Their sense of empathy is not fully developed and they are not subtle. Children should be told off for rudeness but in the case of the OP, it was an overheard comment, hurtful, but probably not meant to be heard by the OP. The time to say something was at the moment it happened.

my daughters had that said to her about me. They're right, i am fat.
I told her to give them a round of applause and congratulate them on their skills of observation.

My 3 year old
understands that saying someone is fat is unkind and would hurt their feelings/not to say it. No excuse for an 8 year old - I would not take him out again if I were you!

Genuinely amazed at some commenters who call an 8yo "a little shit" missing the irony when they talk about rude kids growing up to be rude adults.

Were they arguing?
Did it come out of nowhere?

I was walking behind a couple of boys around the same age a few days ago. They were chatting about how one of the boys had a set of GPs that were fat and a set that weren't. He said it factually rather than as an insult. Sometimes I think children say silly observations out loud to their friends without thinking. Could it be the case here?

If the boy had said it in front of you or as an insult to your son then I definitely think he should know better.

@Moomeh

agree with this too

This happens to my son. I live in a community where how you look and being thin is extremely important to the majority of the women. As albeit tall size 16/18 I very much stand out. Plus I don’t care about designer labels and makeup.
he was very angry and I was hurt. Im 90% sure it came from the mum
But it actually turned into a good conversation about making personal comments, what people car about, being kind to others and what’s important to people in their life - enjoying food and being a bit fat or preferring to be extremely slim.