To hope Amber Heard is lying?

[roadsweep]

Otherwise it's just another abused woman that's not believed.

@WilsonMilson

Well, I’m not a bot (as my long mumsnet history will show) and I believe Amber is quite clearly the instigator of physical abuse in this case. I think you will find, if you look on any social media platform, that the vast majority of people agree with me.

I'm always astonished at the 'well, lots of people agree with me' argument.

As if it matters what random plebs think? It's the court who decides.

They both lose as a result of this.

Both have done shockingly abusive things and I can't imagine why anyone would want either of them in their workplace.

It's hard to say who is the chief abuser. But both of them are abusers.

AH could be both abused & an abuser herself. I think it's confidently documented she was abusive in past to her partners and MNers constantly tell us that "abusers don't change", so why would she not be abusive to JD?

I honestly feel sorry for both AH & JD.

I don't a single thing about their lives is genuinely relevant to lives of ordinary people, though.

Huge mistake when ordinary people think they can identify with or relate to Slebs -- you shouldn't expect that hardly ever.

On the upside I’ve realised two people I know probably have histrionic personality disorder after watching Heard. It’s painful to watch them too but now I realise they don’t know their ill so cant be treated. It’s going to make my life a lot easier from now on.

I cant believe how many women feel the need to defend Depp just because they fancy him as an actor and are like a rabbit fan base. I normally defend men from the all men are armholes on here. But I'm sorry the hate she is getting is ridiculous if it was any other man on the street he would be torched and burned by all the other women on here and on social media its pathetic.

Yes they both appear to be as bad as each other, but the vitriol towards Amber is off the scale.

That's exactly why it should be done in private

I don’t really understand the hate she’s getting in all honesty. I think the JD fans are so intense and loyal they’re swinging the media in his favour but both of them are clearly unhinged and I wouldn’t want to be around either of them. The videos she’s taken where he’s slamming doors around and shouting etc don’t put him in a good light. Sure, there’s no footage of him actually hitting her but from experience living with someone like that is awful, it’s like walking on eggshells constantly.

And so what she’s not drowning in a pool of tears? Doesn’t mean her distress isn’t real. Not everyone cries easily.

I don't like the filming of court cases. Why do they allow it?

Mind you, the American justice system is genuinely scary.

My issue isn't with the lack of tears, it's with the dry-crying. Just speak normally woman.

It makes me laugh how people are saying with such sincerity that one or the other is the abuser.

You weren't there. You don't know. Incredibly arrogant of anyone to think they're psychic and know exactly what went down in their relationship.

Based purely on recordings that have been played, they both sound like horrible people. It's an utter media circus at this point. I hope it all bloody dies down soon so the speculation from the general public can stop.

It’s amazing how so many people seem willing to excuse all the evidence of very bad behaviour from him and to use similar bad behaviour from her to ‘prove’ she is the ‘abuser’ and he is innocent. Seems much more likely it was a mutually toxic relationship and had elements of abuse in both sides.

The amount of people excusing all manner of evidence of how he behaved is quite depressing in the context of blaming her, but then again powerful and formerly handsome and famous men seem to be able to do no wrong or be able to excuse their behaviour with sob stories. His overacting and woe is me tales of his childhood were not raked over in terms of him hamm,long it up or even perhaps using it as an excuse, but everything she has said has been and interpreted in the worst possible light, whereas his hearsay is believed.

I suspect many people have grown up with the perception of Johnny Depp as a kooky gentle man from films like Edward Scissorhands or Benny and Joon and can’t square that with the idea of him now being an older, mostly washed up, long term drug and alcohol abuser and a thoroughly nasty person. He’s been getting wrecked and behaving violently (smashing up hotel rooms for example) for donkeys years but apparently that counts for nothing either.

Tbh I always try and start from the "I believe her" viewpoint. From that vantage point, what is happening to her is truly horrific.

Added to that, she is doing this against a world famous, generally loved actor, in a society which generally works on a women=bad, men=good basis.

But she has been diagnosed with various forms of mental illness - who are we to say she should speak normally? Maybe she isn’t capable of doing that.

If there was a thread on here from a mentally ill woman who was going through this she wouldn’t be ripped to shreds like this. I think people need to be aware of how prejudiced they’re being.

My personal favourite is "she is the abuser/if he was abusive then why didn't she just leave". No sense of irony in what they say - they blame her for not leaving, but not him for not leaving in the opposite scenario! 🙄

Amber is an abuser. She actually said on a phone call: “Tell them, I, Johnny Depp, I'm a victim of domestic abuse ... and see how many people believe or side with you.”

She has previous abuse history, although her partner said that the arrest was homophobic, the officer that arrested Heard was also from the LGBT+ community.

It was clearly a fucked up relationship, goodness why it lasted as long as it did. Do I think he abused her? I don't know. None of his ex-partners have come forward to say that he behaved that way with them. Whereas she has been abusive with others. She cheated on him, there's video evidence, she claims he cheated on her. It's just all messed up. She recorded him, took photos etc, it just seems as if she was setting him up all along.

We see this all the time, don't we? Oh, she doesn't seem traumatised in the right kind of way to be believable. We see it with women who are rape victims, women who are victims of domestic violence, women of murdered children. Always a judgement of their performance of showing grief and trauma in the 'right' kind of way. It's sick.

I sarcastically said similar to my abusive alcoholic ex, shortly after he tried to strangle me, then when I was upset and anger he tried to claim I was abusing him.

As someone who has lived through a very similar relationship to AH, her story is entirely plausible to me. Recordings and all.

Living with an abuser who messes up your view of reality has a septic effect on your sense of self and your behaviour - you become reactively abusive and goady.

I was an autistic woman (yet another form of unreliable witness, not unlike AH's alleged personality disorders), being followed around the house being shouted at as I was melting down, begging for space to calm myself down while he kept on at me. When cornered I would lash out, and he'd use that as evidence of how I was the abusive person.

I'm not trying to use my bias by saying she is definitely telling the truth - just that her version is entirely plausible to someone who has lived it

That quote doesn't prove anything. It's worrying that you think it does.

I believe her. I don't think she was perfect obviously and they was definitely a toxic relationship. But I think how sad it is when a woman is concerned about telling the police she's being abused because her husband is a charmer, a hard worker or has money. Well that's basically Jonny depp really.

It’s awful to see this is still going on. I can’t watch an abused woman being forced to relive her ordeal via live link.

And the fact that there is no protection for her in court. She’s having to testify in front of her abuser while he (and the whole world for that matter) looks on and laughs. And no one else can see how utterly wrong this is.

What sort of world are we living in?

I’ve had an almost identical experience, from the being followed whilst having a meltdown (adhd) to saying something similar (oh go on then who will believe you) while he was baiting me that he was going to tell everyone I was the abusive ‘psycho’ one.

Heard has form. Depp does not. The opposite is the case, in fact.

@Lachimolala off topic but I love your username 😁

I was a bit on the fence so far. But I’ve just seen the video of him trying to walk towards her when she came off the stand and he had to be stopped.
She seemed genuinely terrified and he was laughing, something about that clip put shivers down my spine

But BeyondPurple you are putting your own experience on that. My experience of DV is vastly different. I wouldn't have dared to answer back or respond in that way.