To tell you to read this if you're considering a 3rd child

[unhappychaos]

NC for obvious reasons.

I have 3 kids really close in age. DC3 wasn't planned, we had twins on our second go.

I hate having 3. It's constant chaos. I'm always needed, they constantly compete for my attention. They all want to sit next to me for meals, that's not possible. Bedtime stories, same thing. The scrambling and turn-taking does my head in - we can never relax. DH is around and does lots with them but that's not the point. I want to be able to make my children happy without help, to listen to them properly and not always have to ask one of them to wait or to go to Daddy.

It dawned on me this morning because 2 of them came into my bed at 6.30 and fell back asleep either side of me. It was bliss and everything I've always wanted from family life. Then of course DC3 woke up and came in and couldn't find a spot and it all went wrong.

This is both a ramble and a cautionary tale - if you're considering having a third, make sure you've thought of all the above.

I'm probably doing something wrong with them as plenty of people have 3 or more kids and seem happy, but equally I can't be the only one feeling like this. It's been years and nothing has improved.

Thanks for reading.

Are they quite small? Having little ones can feel like a whirlwind of stress and chaos. Mine were very close together but are late primary age now. It's much much easier than it used to be.
I got terrible depression when they were younger but slowly it just seemed to get a little easier as they grew. Keep going mama! 🙂

OP says youngest twins are 4 and due to start school in September. Eldest is 5.

I do remember middle child being a bit of a pain this age - he was tired from preschool but if they napped it was bad but if he settled becuase he was tried he'd massively kick off about picking eldest up from school - screaming entire way down street but of we were late that upset eldest.

Count downs, lots of time and reminders and later when youngest was bit older picnics in park or library visits or even afternoon groups - to avoid him getting settled at home then kicking off to pick up eldest.

As they got bigger we did have problem fitting three children and two adults in normal double bed - eldest often had to go on the floor with duvet - then it wasn't long before none of them came in regularly - so issues do pass.