To be annoyed MIL cleaned the bathroom

[Clementinemist]

I went to a hen party over the weekend, and DH's parents popped round for a dinner while I was away. We keep our flat very clean and tidy. Our main bathroom wasn't dirty, but could have done with a light clean; probably some of my hair in the plug/around the shower, cabinet was a bit dusty, mirror needed a polish, a bit of limescale around the taps. I've just started a new job and an evening course, been really busy, and didn't have time to give it a once over before I left. (Just to note DH does his share of housework, I usually do the bathroom).

Anyway, MIL decided to thoroughly clean the bathroom while she was here. She emptied the bin which included my used tampons/sanitary towels, possibly condoms. I'm not awkward or uncomfortable about periods/sex or anything, but that's pretty personal. I'm a bit annoyed that she took it upon herself to clean my home, it's not like it was filthy, and has gone into my bin for no reason whatsoever. AIBU?

YABU. Your MIL did something nice for you. Why are you bitching about it?

I would find it weird and invasive too. Proprietorial snd controlling. My PIL would surely find it weird if I cleaned their bathroom without asking and certainly wouldn't clean ours!

If I had a friend who was clearly struggling to keep up with chores, I'd ask them gently if I could help, but I'd never just assume.

This isn't the case here, you are on top of things. No need to.interfere.

Where else would you put used tampons but the bathroom bin?

It's their house, not yours, or MILs, and they can put what the fuck they like in the bin.

The only reason my mil would clean my house is to help me/make it nice for me to come home to. I would be touched.
Don't forget it's her son's bathroom too - she is not some random dinner guest!

The bathroom is not exclusively OPs, it belongs to her DP as well. He was happy with his blood relative cleaning it, so surely that makes it ok?

Has any father cleaned his daughter bathroom on a visit ever? It’s a MIL out ‘womaning’ her daughter in law. You can tell the type and this thread is full of them.
my MIL cleans things when she comes round. She gives me a little wink and says ‘I’ve done the bathroom for you’ despite her own son standing right there. It never needs it as obviously we clean before she comes over. I used to get so pissed off about it but now I feel sorry for her as she seems to feel like it’s the only way she can prove her worth (despite having a highly successful career). She also does other things like the garden which I do find genuinely useful so it’s not all bad.

Yes, she would see them. But the world wouldn't end as a result.

It may be that she was just trying to help out a bit. But I can see why some people may not like this. My mum used to clean around our home when she watched the kids sometimes, but I know it was just to try help out a bit.

What about if she needed to use the bathroom bin? The loo roll had finished and she wanted to throw the empty one away? Would that be over stepping? She would've seen the contents then?

Shock!
Horror!

Bathroom bin contains exactly the kind of stuff bathroom bins are for!

Why can I never find the smelling salts when I need them?

Bathroom bins aren't for 3 day old tampons and crusty condoms

@girlmom21 what are bathroom bins for?

Bleach and eating your dinner off, judging by this thread. Which honestly makes me want to go feral and smear faeces on the wall like a monkey in the zoo.

Bathroom bins aren't for 3 day old tampons and crusty condoms

Would they be better in the kitchen bin?

What are your feelings about crusty tissues?

Well, I and my daughters put used sanitary towels and tampons in the bin and the bins get emptied when full or when cleaning the bathroom. So yeah, quite often they're there for a few days. I don't see the issue. Just like kitchen bins have used meat packets that have had blood in them. I also empty the kitchen bins when they're full.

Send her over to me. Happy for her or any other unwanted MILs to come here for free cleaning.

My lovely MIL would do this. I miss her.

I loved coming home to a tidy kitchen and cleaned bathroom.

Buy her some flowers!

It's fine to put your waste into but they should be emptied regularly.
You shouldn't go away and leave used, days-old sanitary products in them.

Emptied every three days is 'regularly', and there could be three days worth of tampons in a bin.

Honestly, if you don't want to see three days worth of tampons in a bathroom bin in someone else's house, don't open one up and peer inside.

Bathroom bins are made for tampons and pads and condoms and old toothpaste tubes and toothbrushes and those little things you use to scrape plaque off your teeth, and tissues you've blown your nose in and old razors and used cotton balls covered with old makeup and used plasters and scrapings from your plantar warts and nail clippings. Maybe hair you clean off a hairbrush...
There are all sorts of body fluids and stuff that's been used in the bathroom with vapourised water from the loo clinging to it, in other words.

Are tampons worse than all the rest of the stuff that ends up in the bin?

Would a build up of non-period-related waste be acceptable?

Emptied every three days is 'regularly', and there could be three days worth of tampons in a bin.

But it wouldn't have been every 3 days because the OP went away for the weekend and she'd already been on her period for 2 days.

If you're ok with guests having to deal with those kinds of smells that's on you.

I'm a MIL and I would never clean anything in their house but might do a bit of gentle weeding if time allowed. I wash up any china I've used and will do anything else already in the sink and they have a downstairs loo so there's no need to go upstairs. I have a great relationship with my son and his wife and would be happy to tidy up if asked - I've made my own boundaries which has probably helped the harmony.