My husband won't tell me who he voted for today?

[FreeFlowersForAll]

AIBU?

I spoiled my ballot.

My husband won't tell me who he voted for, and he's annoyed that I keep asking? Surely this is the kind of info that should be shared between a man and wife?

YABU, you are coming across as quite pushy. Poor DH.

I honestly don't ever see the pint in a spoiled ballet. Have conviction or don't bother ... absolutely pointless. And definitely doesn't prove a point as could be a spoiled ballot for any party grow. Up

Don’t know why you bothered to go at all if you spoiled the vote - it’s not something to be proud of 😝

if my husband told me he spoiled his vote I probably wouldn’t want to discuss it with him either / discuss who I voted for.

it’s none of your business anyway .

He might have voted Labour and not want to enter "Do they know what a woman is" discussion.

Did you expect him to spoil the ballot as well? Because otherwise you wouldn’t agree on whoever he voted for

But maybe the op's husband fears that THEY would.

I'm absolutely baffled by this. How could you possibly not know how your partner votes? I must live in a parallel universe but surely in the however many years you've been together you've discussed the issues of the day..? And surely from these discussions you'd be able to ascertain what somebody's political leanings are. Surely if you talk about work, sex, parents, kids, etc etc etc you talk about politics?

I hate all this sanctimonious "I can't believe you spoiled your ballot paper, what a waste! Don't you know what women went through to get the vote" etc etc.

People spoil their ballot paper because they know exactly how much of a privilege it is to vote. If they didn't they just wouldn't bother their arses. They're not looking for a medal or recognition, they've probably done it after much soul searching and feel like they should vote but they just couldn't bring themselves to vote for the shower of shites they are faced with. I don't blame them.

I know who my husband voted for because he's a member of a party, he knows who I voted for because I'm a member of a different party. We haven't spoken about it because we know we vote differently. Even if you don't say it specifically, spouses surely have a good idea of who the other voted for!

spoiling bc a ballot 🙄 just makes you seem like a simpleton who can’t put an x in a box. I never understand this.

Maybe he's a Tory and knows you'll never shag him again if you find out.

If you find out he voted Tory you have grounds for divorce 🤣

Obviously doesn’t want to start an argument, would you have issues if he voted a certain way?

FWIW, I can’t stand when people ask who you’ve voted for, it’s private. Same goes for people who tell the world how you ‘need’ to vote on SM; that’s an immediate unfollow and delete for me.

I think you are being unreasonable for the act of 'spoiling your ballot' personally.

It's a ridiculous waste of time and no one will give a shit. After what people went through to get the vote then this type of princessy flouncing is just silly.

You didn't bother to vote, basically. Your choice. But it doesn't gain you the moral high ground in any way and certainly doesn't make you superior to your DH or give you the right to know how he voted.

Absolute tosh, if anything more people should spoil their ballot instead of opting for the most appealing dreg in the barrel. I would love to see a high turn out election where the majority spoiled their ballots. That would be the strongest message we could send to politicians letting them know that they are not fit for purpose since we are so opposed to public disorder in this country.

i can't believe this is genuine.
guess it's to get a discussion going.
nobody could be that entitled; could they... ??

Surely if you live with him then you know his political leanings so what you really want is an argument .

No, not understanding makes YOU look like a simpleton.

A spoiled ballot shows you are engaged enough to vote whilst also feeling unrepresented by the candidates. A high proportion of spoiled ballots is notable. A high proportion of non-voters is expected.

I think it’s weird, yes. I know that it’s private, and I think it’s unreasonable to keep pushing him, but I can’t imagine being married to someone who felt they couldn’t tell me that information

Agreed. It makes a statement.

My guess is that if you're a ballot-spoiler, then you're also the sort of person who will "challenge" others at the drop of a hat, and he doesn't want to deal with the your reaction to the idea that he might disagree with you.

Reminds me of this ...

(Donald Trump checking out how Melania's voting, US national election 2016.)

I’m with you OP, I’m extremely surprised at these replies (particularly people quoting Secret Ballot Act or alike).

In most circumstances, nobody is legally obliged to share any information about themselves. Still, if your partner wouldn’t tell you how old they are, most people would think that weird and wouldn’t be quoting data protection legislation in support of your partner’s right to privacy.

Basic information about your political views, including who you vote for, are something that I would have assumed would be shared among most partners.

You spoiled your ballot fgs. Could you really not select a candidate. Voting is a privilege and you spoiled your ballot. Your husbands vote is his, if you cannot tell how he voted you're obviously not communicating very well.

Voting is a privilege

It's a right.

one's age is not something one decides every few years, or ever in fact.

I used to work with one of the candidates and couldn't stand him - and may have ranted about him every time any literature from his party arrived. As DH was leaving to vote he asked me how many candidates were standing as he had only seen bumpf from the two main parties. On being told that was the only choice he commented, "so I've got to vote for her as you don't like him - okay" and off he went.
We always discuss the candidates but don't usually specifically say for whom we are voting but we probably could make an informed guess given our discussions.

I also worked at a polling station for a number of years and every election one woman would always announce to her dh that her vote had cancelled his out. Then they walked out holding hands.