My husband won't tell me who he voted for today?

[FreeFlowersForAll]

AIBU?

I spoiled my ballot.

My husband won't tell me who he voted for, and he's annoyed that I keep asking? Surely this is the kind of info that should be shared between a man and wife?

Ballot spoiling, if it was ever going to be an effective protest would have to be organised and widespread enough that it could be deployed tactically, 0.whatever % of people doing it, when a significant number of them will also be made up by people who just couldn't fill it in properly, isn't exactly a coherent message

No one knows who anyone votes for that's the whole point, you could lie and tell your partner you're going to vote for a particular party then vote for a different party when you're in there. I never tell anyone who i have voted for because i have the right to vote with anonymity

The %age that are already disenfranchised or disinterested enough not to vote should be sending a message already really, but none of them seem to care

They definitely don't care if you drew a winky on your paper

I never disclose who I work for, just like I never disclose my real name on this site

VOTE* not work. Although I won't disclose that either!

It's his decision and he is entitled to not share it with anyone, including you.

I would never ask dh (or dd) who he voted for during any election. I can hazard a guess generally. We don't always vote alike, based on what I know without asking, but I never ask to clarify or not. It's nothing to do with me how he votes, nor how dd votes. He never asks me either.

Exactly the same here, @neverbeenskiing . I'm really surprised by this thread. Learn something every day on MN.

This is one reason why we don't share who we vote for. We never wanted to feel,like we would be pushing dd one way or the other. Instead we talked about different parties and their general approach, she was shown and we looked at the different pledges put forward, etc. I'm sure dd probably has an inkling, but as it's likely me and dh vote differently, I don't feel she has any undue bias in any direction.

Before voting this time she read key summaries of each party. I don't know who she voted for and won't be asking.

I don't really like the idea of children voting for the same party as their parents simply as it's what's done, without the child reading up and v]finding out more for themselves.

I don't really like the idea of children voting for the same party as their parents simply as it's what's done, without the child reading up and v]finding out more for themselves.

Me neither, but I think you can be open with your children about your politics and still encourage them to be curious, think critically and do their own research. My DF was very open about his own political views and who he voted for and I still grew up with different views and voted differently.

The problem is, is I often change who I vote for. I know dh has veered between parties too. We tend to look at what is happening and what is being said at the time. I don't believe in just choose one party to vote for and remaining loyal to them regardless of what they are saying or doing.

So, we discuss politics to an extent, we discuss our beliefs, thoughts and ideas about political events. But we don't just say 'I vote x because they will do xyz' - firstly, they rarely do what they say regardless of which party it is, and secondly what they say and do changes regularly.

Imagine not knowing what your partner earns. This is how they keep us down. An old boss once asked me not to tell ppl what I was paid. I said ' don't worry ; I'm just as ashamed of it as you are '. I soon moved on. Same with the voting . We mustn't discuss such matters. It might upset our betters.

Do children necessarily vote the same way as their parents? My parents have always openly and vehemently voted Tory, and maybe when I was 11 I would have done too but by the time I was old enough to vote I knew enough to know I’d rather stab myself in the eye. For me the main parties are ideologically divided enough that I’d find it odd if my my partner and children didn’t know who invited for, simply because my morals are so far apart from those of the Conservative party. But I guess knowing that and being told are two different things.

My DH does this, it's very annoying, but I've just given up asking. He won't tell our children either. I can usually guess though.

It’s interesting that the couples that must vote the same way or it’s a “dealbreaker” are all Labour supporters and the couples that aren’t fussed how the other votes have at least one Tory voter.

I don’t understand how this works tbh - if you don’t know how your partner votes, how can you know whether or not you agree on fundamental things like education, health, tax etc?

My mum never tells anyone who she votes for, she holds the right to a secret ballot as sacred, so I understand it.

It's not your place to demand to know who he voted for @FreeFlowersForAll

But when people refuse to tell you who they have voted for, they have very likely voted for The Conservatives.

HTH.

I'm not telling DH ever again. He was so mad and nasty last time I told him. And in the past couple of years I've had plenty of nasty remarks about that party and about the stupid people that vote for them.

You appear controlling op.Let it go.

I don't. My entire family are as anti-Tory as you can possibly be (both of my grandads were miners so Thatcher's name is dog shit here) and they all vote Labour.

I vote SNP, as does DH. We both voted Yes in Indyref, but my parents dislike the SNP and voted No. We've had some heated debates and I'm on my last warning after I brought up my admiration for Nicola Sturgeon at my dad's 60th birthday dinner

If Scotland ever gets independence, I'll consider that job done and switch to Scottish Greens.

its a 2 horse race here and we were each backing different horses.
DH suggested that as our votes ‘cancelled’ each other out we should just both not bother voting.
I sneaked out and voted anyway. All’s fair in love and war and politics 😀

I would find it a bit strange to not know - I know who my boyfriend of 3 months voted for, we talk about politics a fair bit but then I’m a union rep involved in a dispute at work so it’s come in conversation a lot. I also knew who my late DH voted for. I agree with others who have said it’s normal to discuss politics, I have debates with my parents who are politically miles apart from me.

Goid grief! I can't believe you actually expect your DH to tell you how he voted. That's way out of order! He has every right to be annoyed. Just because you are married doesn't mean he's under any obligation to tell you.

I think it's weird to not discuss it. My parents are very open about politics and my DH and I are too.
I think it's part of being a compatible couple.

I know I will be slated for saying this but the super feminists refused to vote for Hilary Clinton because apparently she wasn’t feminist enough for them. This partly resulted in Donald Trump winning the 2016 election, giving him the opportunity to pack the Supreme Court with Christian fundamentalists.

This week that same Christian Taliban revealed they will end Roe v Wade condemning poor women to back street abortions which will result in disability, death or a ton of unwanted kids and further poverty.

Seeing the bigger picture is preferable to focusing on one issue. Obsessing about trans is preventing some women from focusing on protecting women more vulnerable than themselves. This is not an act of feminism but of privilege. Women will be more impacted by the cost of living crisis. Not voting or spoiling your ballot (which is basically the same thing) does nothing to help women. It’s not a feminist act.