My husband won't tell me who he voted for today?

[FreeFlowersForAll]

AIBU?

I spoiled my ballot.

My husband won't tell me who he voted for, and he's annoyed that I keep asking? Surely this is the kind of info that should be shared between a man and wife?

I can’t believe there’s relationships out there so shit that you can’t even talk about votes. Op I’d assume it’s whoever you’d least likely want him to. Luckily my oh and I have similar values and have always voted the same except for one occasion, we respected each other’s decisions though.

If he won't tell you then I guess he probably voted for someone he knows you wouldn't approve of and doesn't want the argument?

So I presume you have different political leanings?

If that's the case and it would cause a row I can't see the benefit in pushing him to tell you tbh.

It could be something a husband and wife discuss if both want to, but I would never ask dh again if he has stated he doesn't want to tell me.

You're acting like you have a right to know, you don't. Go and argue with someone else dh isn't engaging.

I'm of the 'half' that talks openly about politics I guess?

I mean, when the news is on, who does your husband shout 'wanker' at? That would be a big clue 😂

If he won’t tell you, he voted Tory 😜

I suspect my DH voted for a different candidate than I did.

We disagree on a number of political issues, have healthy debates and respect each other's views.

I don't think either of us felt in the mood for a debate today, so didn't ask each other how we voted. We might share the info at some point, we might not.

I couldn't imagine being in a relationship where I couldn't discuss politics. This thread is bizarre! Do people really think like this?!

Crazy you have no idea who he voted, surely you have general chit chat about these things eg boris is a n#b can't wait untill he's gone or something that gives you a clue as to what way he is swaying towards.

Not sure why it's bothering you so much, does your husband have to tell you everything he does?

Yes yes we all know it’s a private thing between you and the ballot box blah blah.

But I agree with you OP that it is weird that one’s partner wouldn’t share who they voted for. I vote very differently to my partner these days but we don’t get into any heated debates about it.

Nice, now my relationship of 21 years is “shit”
I’ve never told anyone who I vote for. Friend, partner, parent, child, mumsnet.
I’m fine with that.
I am political but I don’t mind who anyone else votes for because it’s their right and their choice.

He 100% voted Tory

YABU
You don’t need to share everything.
He is choosing not to share this.

Considering you are so irate about not knowing then I can see why he wouldn’t want the discussion.

I think it's weird not to know how your partner votes.
Their political views are an essential part of who they are and what their values are.

I wouldn't get into a serious relationship with someone if our politics weren't compatible and I'd end a relationship if they voted a certain way.

He’s a shy Tory voter.

He didn't vote, went to the pub. Scared to say so

For me it is not that we can't discuss it we often do. And this time I know who dh voted for and vice versa. If my dh didn't want to tell me I would be fine with that too. Other years it might not come up.

Depends if you are one of those people who goes on and on to try to covert him to your political viewpoint. Or if you’re just curious - that would be ok.

Glad there were no bloody elections in my area!

That's literally the only information me and DH do not share under any circumstances. Happily married for 16 years.

I can’t believe there’s relationships out there so shit that you can’t even talk about votes.

I can’t believe you would dismiss any relationship where people want some individual privacy as ‘so shit’.

I'd hazard a guess that he voted Conservative and can't be arsed to argue about it 🤷‍♀️

None of your beeswax. My vote is between me and the ballot box.

My husband is my proxy, so I have to tell him who I want to vote for! Other than that, unless he chooses to tell me, his vote is his own business. I’m obsessed with politics and my dissertation was based upon constitutional law, but unless he voted for an extremist party, I just care that he votes. I’d be much angrier if he spoiled his ballot or didn’t vote at all.

I appreciate the ballot box is confidential but I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t willing to discuss their thoughts and ideologies with me, whether or not we agreed on them.
YABU to spoil your vote though, what a waste. It doesn’t make a political statement or give you a moral high ground or make any of the candidates think twice, it’s just a waste. One of the candidates will win regardless. If you don’t favour any of them you have your say by choosing the least worst option.

If you spoiled your ballot why do you care? Surely any answer he gives will be a 'wrong' answer as you can't possibly be in agreement about any candidate!