My husband won't tell me who he voted for today?

[FreeFlowersForAll]

AIBU?

I spoiled my ballot.

My husband won't tell me who he voted for, and he's annoyed that I keep asking? Surely this is the kind of info that should be shared between a man and wife?

Let it go OP pretty sure there are more imortant things in life to get worked up about.

It’s absolutely none of your business.

I’ve always known how partners, family etc have voted because politics is something we discuss quite openly. I couldn’t respect or be in a relationship with someone who voted for the current incarnation of the Conservatives (let alone any of the abhorrent UKIP-type parties) or for Brexit. It’s only right you should know something so major about a partner’s values. But obviously I agree with the privacy of the ballot box more generally.
The OP’s DH voted Tory and is embarrassed.

Your vote is private. That's the point. It also massively helps to prevent arguments and divide amongst families and friends, else that one person will always be bringing up, 'Well, YOU voted for this, X, Y, Z'. Respect the voting process.

It doesn’t matter that you’re married to him. None of your business. He clearly doesn’t want to tell you because he knows you wouldn’t agree and it would cause an argument.

I only know who my husband voted for because he told me. I wouldn’t have asked because it’s none of my business.

They normally now say “I now pronounce you husband and wife”. Even the church is more modern than OP!

You are dead wrong on this. It is NO ONE’s business who he voted for. The right to a secret ballot is a fundamental right in a democracy. I don’t care if you think that is po-faced but too bad - to be asking repeatedly about his vote is really really out of order.

Stop asking. I don't know how my DH voted, he hasn't asked me. We discuss politics, I'm currently politically homeless over women's rights. He has similar views, so it's very difficult right now.

Anyone else completely unsurprised that this has turned out to be a ‘post and run’ thread?

It's private & he's under no obligation to tell you.

'man and wife' 😆

For those saying he no doubt voted Tory, you're the reason why people keep their votes secret. Aside from it being nobody else's business, it is HIS choice, not yours.

I refused to tell my DP because I cannot be arsed with political arguments with him. YABU

@Labscollie aha! Yes, it TOTALLY makes sense that you're a Tory.

I don't think it's any of your business. We do talk about it though as did my parents when I was younger. They would vote for the same party. We both vote differently.

I always assume that anyone who won’t admit who they voted for voted Tory (but at least has the decency to be slightly ashamed about admitting it).

It’s why the Tories always do better in the end than the pre-election surveys predicted.

Yes, I’d expect my husband to want to share this with me. But actually, if you have a close relationship, you should already know or be able to guess. Why would you not discuss politics with your other half? Do people not talk about things with their partners anymore? Why would anyone want to keep secrets from each other in a healthy relationship?

I do find it bizarre that couples don't talk about who they are voting for, it's a thing I've not encountered in my close circle of friends and family. Everyone I know talks openly about politics and offers up who they voted for. I'm honestly really surprised at this thread.
Every days a school day

Anyone who asks, let alone demands, to know how I vote, and think they have a right to this private information, gets bloody short shrift. That includes my husband.

My vote is my business.

In saying that, we're a highly political household, so it's usually abundantly clear who we're going to vote for, lol.

Some people are very open in who they vote for (in my experience more on the left) and others are not

When voting polls took place by asking people directly they were voting for it was considered to be generous to the left as those that declined to disclose were more likely to vote Tory

what does it matter how he votes for if he is a good kind person that is respectful. I’m sure if his views were extreme either side you would be aware of this and that would possibly influence your relationship/how you view him

It’s absolutely none of your business.

actually, spoiling your ballot is part of the reason why the tories do better.

If people just voted for the opposition then they would gain seats and the tories would lose them. But by not voting that means that no opposition is going to gain more votes in order to take the council.

This is why spoiling a ballot is essentially not voting, or in stronger seats, could be constrewed as voting for the party in power.

If you don’t want the tories to have your vote, then you need to vote for the opposition.

The UK operates a system of secret ballots in elections for important reasons, one of which is to ensure a person can vote according to their own opinion on who should win rather than placate another or be in fear of their reaction and this includes spouses.

Are you this controlling over other decisions he makes? I suspect he’s not telling you because he can’t be bothered with the fall out of you telling him why he was wrong!

I know very well my DP’s political interest and enthusiasm. I can guess who they voted for. If however they voted for the Tory vermin candidate it’s perhaps because they know them personally or agree with a very specific policy of theirs. Their political persuasion is important to me. Their actual vote isn’t.

@FreeFlowersForAll

The classic post-and-run.

When posting on the internet, take some responsibility. Not everyone is going to agree with you.

Ah, the tolerant Left/Labour. The party of venom and personal attacks, which makes your post laughable. Did I say I was Tory? No, you just dived straight in, didn't you.