Meat eater benefits from sharing finances with veggie

[SpingTimeMelody]

Ah, this is an issue we come back to time and time again (well every year or so I guess).

I'm vegetarian and as such my food is generally less expensive. My DH eats meat. No problem with that as such, but he hasn't cut down the amount of meat he eats, if anything he eats more now. Today he had bacon medallions with breakfast, a tin of tuna with lunch and plans to have an expensive individually wrapped chicken breast with dinner. These cost about £2.25 per breast and sometimes he has two.

His Pov: I can eat what I like.

My Pov: Yes, but... Food comes out of "joint money", and we are spending too much. I am trying to cut back like I bought the cheaper bread to save 60p. If I suddenly decided to eat meat (not going to happen) but we wouldn't be able to afford it. Basically he can only afford to eat meat the way he does because I have a much cheaper diet....

What is the answer? No kids btw

Sounds a bit mean to be arguing over food

I think you're incompatible.

Buy cheaper bacon, tuna and chicken?

Who does the shopping?

Do you both earn the same?

I'm vegetarian too and still think YABU in this case. If you otherwise have joint finances then presumably occasionally you buy something more expensive too? Not all veggie food is cheap anyway.

What a miserable existence.

You're being petty I'm afraid (and I'm saying that as a lifelong veggie!!).

I'm sure there's more of some food/items/bills etc you're responsible for a higher proportion of. It all balances out in the end. My DH is a meat eater, barely drinks. I love my wine and chocolate. We don't new tabs. Never occurred to me to!

I would hate to in effect to feel like I was being monitored/ paying a supplement for my diet choices.

Do you need to cut back or have you just unilaterally decided to buy cheaper bread?

DH and I eat very different diets and as we have no money struggles, I would be pretty pissed off if he told me I couldn't buy certain expensive items just because he didn't want to do the same.

Today he had bacon medallions with breakfast, a tin of tuna with lunch and plans to have an expensive individually wrapped chicken breast with dinner.

I think this is completely normal meat consumption for many people.

Can you actually not afford it, or are you prioritising spending on other things whilst he would prefer to prioritise eating meat?

if you actually can’t afford it then go through the finances with him and come up with a food budget per week. Ask him to suggest meals within budget.

if you can afford it, then neither of you are wrong and probably need a conversation on priorities and what’s important to each of you.

Christ what a relationship. Honestly this is actually depressing. I really doubt his tuna costs a massive amount more than all the fresh fruit and veg on the weekly shop, and even if it does - the fact you're questioning it is baffling.
If he was smoking and paying out of joint money, fine. But you can't begrudge the bloke a tin of tuna ffs.

Dh is veggie now but before that, I always preferred buying higher welfare meat.

You need to sit down and discuss your household budget and finances.

@BadNomad absolutely!! But he doesn't want to. It should be a choice between large amounts or high quality of meat, but he wants both..

@Clymene @roarfeckingroarr it's about money not food, and we are compatible besides this issue, I'm sure most couples have something they disagree on especially when things are stressful with the rising cost of living...

Wow, i think you’re massively unreasonable.
how tight are things if things are this bad?
no veggie food is not always cheaper!!
from your list his food is certainly not very expensive.
i’m sure there are things out of joint money that are yours?

Many or Most women have maintenance these elective habits which don't have male equivalents:

Expensive hair cuts
manicures
more shampoo because more hair on head
wearing make up, eye brow grooming
epilating (body)
Buying clothes, just for a change
impractical over priced shoes
hand bag(s) that exist to show off & aren't old & functional

if you can hand on heart say that you don't identify with needing to spend money related to even 1 of above, then I think you may start to have a solid negotiating position

I think YABU. Two people eating different things will probably cost a bit more. He could buy bigger cheaper packs of meat if you weren't veggie! Im vegetarian and my OH isn't and I wouldn't dream of complaining about the cost of his food and agree that not all vegetarian food is cheap. If he was spending it on rubbish then maybe but on his basic meals no way. If you have to save money as a family then of course everything needs looking at so a standard chicken breast rather than a posh wrapped one ... but I don't think you are going about this in a very good way.

He sounds like a prick, OP. Ltb.

This. Don't cut back on the bread costs if you haven't already cut back on meat costs.

If I suddenly decided to eat meat (not going to happen) but we wouldn't be able to afford it

If this is the case, you need to seriously look at your budget. There must be other things you could save on. How much do your respective hobbies and leisure activities cost you?

I do sympathise though. Meat does cost more. It would be like one person drinking alcohol and the other not. You can say 'it all evens out, diet coke costs as much' but it doesn't and it doesn't.

If money is tight, of course you should both be careful. If not, I'd say it's fine. It's not as if he s living off lobster and caviar.

Sounds pretty petty to me. My DH eats more than me of everything but I don't consider that I should pay less as a result or tell him not to. I don't know where we would stop if we reviewed our spending/finances otherwise (unless one of us was being extravagant on clothes/cars etc)

I think the meat eater/veggie thing is irrelevant. I eat meat and spend much much less on food than my vegetarian trying to be vegan sibling. It's just a difference in spending habits. If you cook and eat separately then agree on what you can afford to depend on food then split it. Or have food come out of individual money instead.

Good grief, what a way to live.

If you want to cut your shopping bills, by all means talk to your husband about it and agree an approach, which may well mean less meat. But quibbling about him having 50p’s worth of tuna while you only had 20p of lentils sounds utterly soul-destroying for both of you.

Maybe he spends more on food but I bet there's another area where you're the bigger spender.

This is a weird thing to argue about to me. Surely it's family money buying family groceries?? Do you buy tampons etc... as part of grocery money? More expensive shampoo and separate conditioner versus his 3-in-1 body wash/shampoo etc?
We don't but wine from grocery money, but everything else is fair.

Are you choosing unnecessarily cheap vegetarian food when you don’t have to be?

My goats cheese and wild garlic salad today cost substantially more than DH’s bog standard tuna sandwich.

Meat free doesn’t necessarily mean budget options.

Nonetheless, if you’re feeling hard done by, could you have some of your other expenses from the household budget?