To think male violence will never end?

[YouAreNotBatman]

I was reading the news about 14 year old boy raping and killing a 10 year old girl and I just became so tired.
So tired of endless violence boys and men do to girls and women.
And how they don’t care, they seem to think it’s funny or get angry at any woman who try and speak about it.

It’s about male violence, resulting in homicides.

So why is it always about female homicides?

I can only offer a personal perspective- for me it's because my mum was killed by her boyfriend. That's why it's important to me.

As for comparing smoking and women being murdered I think that a pretty poor analogy.
If you smoke, that's a choice. It's within your gift to give up.
Being murdered isn't a choice.

I guess I just made a few assumptions which were wrong then. For me, the whole point of women's issues is to improve things for women as much as possible, which for me means looking at the issues that have the biggest impact.

No doubt, homicide is possibly the worst way to lose somebody but in aggregate road fatalities, medical ailments, etc, impact far more lives. If I lived in Brazil I might feel differently, but I feel like this country is pretty safe in regard to your chances of getting murdered - was it six in every million or did I just make that up? It's not something I'm personally worried about.

Obviously, I'd likely feel different in your situation, Brookstar, but I think that almost goes without saying.

Still focussing on murders.

What about sexual assaults?

For me, the whole point of women's issues is to improve things for women as much as possible, which for me means looking at the issues that have the biggest impact.

But it doesn't have to be either/or. You can be passionate about challenging male violence towards women and be committed to dealing with other issues related to womens equality.

I'm vocal about violence against women because I have personal experience and I do believe it's an issue that needs addressing. The fact that two women a week are murdered by their current or former partner is abhorrent to me regardless of how the statistics stack up.

However, I've also dedicated a huge part of my career to supporting women's career development and challenging the many inequalities women face in workplace, particularly when they've had children.

Don't you be stressing about male violence women! You're far more likely to die of being in a car crash or getting cancer than at the hands of a male so you have no business to be bothering about any form of abuse women face from men. Or the level of it.

Because we are only bothered about being murdered.

Fucking mental logic even for Mumsnet.

Well, we're not going to agree clearly. I just think the '100 women a year' sounds like a lot out of context but when you view it as 'six out of every million' it's actually very low. Of course, every case is genuinely horrific but I just don't think you can stamp out every single bad apple. It's just not possible and it's a vanishingly tiny number of men who kill, even if it's much higher than women.

The only realistic end to it IMO will be if we gradually evolve to a stage where men lose most of their testosterone due to not needing to physically fight likrniur ancestors did. But even that may be unlikely because testosterone also governs competitiveness and drive (most likely why CEOs are documented to have higher than average levels on aggregate).

I'm here to tell you that male violence, rape and sexual assault, has shaped my life, from the age of 8. And I'm not alone. The impact of male violence is far reaching and horribly damaging both emotionally and physically, for years after the event. But as we're not getting murdered we just need to chill out a bit? I'm a bit baffled at your logic tbh.

I'm not sure there's much more productive discussion to be had tbh. I didn't intend to get drawn into this thread from a couple of passing comments.

However, I just don't find much in common with many feminists at all. I can agree on a lot of causes etc, but it's just the types of people that I clash with. So many seem to be negative individuals. I also don't have any issues with men on the whole, and in fact I generally get on better with them than women, even if my best mates are female. I work in an almost completely male environment (construction) and it's so much better than when I worked in predominantly female teams in the legal sector and also as a project manager/BDM.

I'm far from a 'cool girl' or a handmaiden (hate that term) but I appreciate men's general directness and the fact that there generally seems to be much less drama and passive aggressive behaviour than when I've experienced with women. Despite the myth of the sisterhood, women tend to get on much less well than men do and there's loads of data to illustrate this - not least that both sexes would rather work for a man, with women having a stronger preference.

There's a good thread somewhere on here from ages ago with all the studies and loads of women discussing their experiences in the legal sector (a common theme being that female bosses were much less supportive of family and female issues, despite what you might have expected).

I just don't see things to be the way that a lot of feminists claim they are.

No not a cool girl. I think the current terminology is 'pick me girl'

I'm here to tell you that male violence, rape and sexual assault, has shaped my life, from the age of 8. And I'm not alone. The impact of male violence is far reaching and horribly damaging both emotionally and physically, for years after the event. But as we're not getting murdered we just need to chill out a bit? I'm a bit baffled at your logic tbh.

You are absolutely not alone. Fully relate unfortunately. Scheming bastards. I hate these men that would prefer you to feel alone and isolated. DESPERATE to shut us up. They try absolutely everything possible. My ex husband actually said, “I should have punched you in the mouth then you might shut the fuck up”.

WHY WHY so desperate men? Cant you see you’re just being evil and stupid. Mostly everyone can see you. Most just can’t be arsed with you. Or your fucking stupid enabling mothers you gaslighting abusive pricks

@Pumperthepumper we speak up because the murdered ones aren’t on this thread u absolute numpty

@TruthHertz oh it’s you! My comment was meant for you not @Pumperthepumper sincere apologies there Pumper

The only realistic end to it IMO will be if we gradually evolve to a stage where men lose most of their testosterone due to not needing to physically fight like their ancestors

Human evolution takes thousands of years though (unlike microscopic viruses). I’d rather actually tackle this wouldn’t you? Head on and directly. With the aim of making a difference. Cut your derailing the conversation with your desperate attempts at ‘smoke and mirrors’ crap please@TruthHertz
Because that is exactly the same way violent abusers operate.

Another derail attempt. A lot of your posts I'm thinking 'and what's that got to do with this discussion'.

Any rational person understands that completely ending human violence is near impossible. Even ending female violence won't happen. Aside from all else we'd need to completely stamp out mental illness, austerity, and every other factor that negatively affects people's upbringing. Because socio economic factors play a huge role. POC, for example, are over represented in every stage of the criminal justice system and the obvious cause is economic factors, unless you believe they are more violent by nature which I don't believe for a second.

What are u actually proposing or suggesting there @TruthHertz ?
Shall we just ignore it?
Wait a million years?
Men just simply can’t help it?
Not enough deaths happening?
You don’t want any change anyway?
So full of shit you can’t help leaking it out on here?
Denial, minimising, deflecting, lying, misinformation, smoke & mirrors …….
What else u got because so far it’s all complete bullshit (but I’m so glad of your huge concerns around smoking. Start your own thread on that. Fuck all to do with this one

Wow wtf have POC got to do with this. I see EXACTLY what you’re doing here cock

No definitive links between testosterone and aggression. Still nothing about sexual assault?

You don’t believe in natural violence even though you believe in testosterone theory?

😂almost laughable if it wasn’t so serious

I'm not sure there's much more productive discussion to be had tbh

But there really could be if u engaged and allowed it. How about u just give us one heartfelt statement which shows your empathy and respect for all the female victims of male violence (of which I assure u there are millions) not just the dead ones. Black, white, purple whatever. Because so far your level of utter disrespect is so appalling that it proves that people like YOU are the problem here. We are discussing people like you @TruthHertz Its no wonder u so passionately dislike it.

We’ve told our stories, what’s yours?

I would just say filled with internalize misogyny.