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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partner goes shooting almost 5 to 6 days a week

237 replies

Bebenama · 04/05/2022 07:26

been with my partner for a year, for the last 3months he’s been going shooting from 5pm till 11:30pm, and occasionally when he’s off work or weekend he will go all night and come back in the morning about 11am something 3pm in the afternoon. I’m not comfortable with this as I don’t feel that give us any time together.

l work till 4 and have school age kids from previous relationship so I’m the week I’m ready to chill with partner by 8pm. My partner work at home and finish mostly between 5 and 6pm and that is when he have a shower and prepare to go out.

I really don’t understand this shooting and hunting habit. When I met him I know he was into this but thought he only do it few days in a week as mostly he would be at mine by 8pm for just us to have a nice time. This is before we start leaving together about 5 months ago.

He wouldn’t take me out anywhere, anything I suggest he would make excuses so I give up asking. on the other hand I do all the cooking and most house work. I have to cook as I have kids in the house.

please let me know if this is normal relationship for him to go out almost every night and sometimes don’t come home.

OP posts:
Everydaydayisaschoolday · 04/05/2022 08:24

Lol at this.

I once worked with a woman whose husband used to have sex with her at night, then get up, get showered, suited and booted, then leave the house at about 10.30pm to go and play 'squash' until breakfast time the next morning . I would imagine the squash courts he was playing at are pretty close to the shooting range your husband is using.

All joking aside - you must know deep down that this isn't ok. He is taking you for a fool. Don't put up with it.

Gudbrand · 04/05/2022 08:27

Which country are you in and what is he shooting?
I live in a country in Europe where lots of the men are hunters in their spare time. There are all kinds of rules about when they can hunt and it's not all night......

As I understand it, most of the shooting takes place at dusk.

He's either drinking all night after the shooting or he's going to some woman's for a shag, or he's just going to the woman's place without bothering the shooting.

If he is shooting animals have you ever seen the carcasses?? Because normally they bring them home and start chopping them up in the cellar or garage.

Bebenama · 04/05/2022 08:27

He said he shoot pigeon and squirrel and from his friends land. I had a feeling he could be cheating but I just want to get rid him as I don’t see the point if we don’t spend time together. He went out 10pm last night and still not home yet it’s 8:20am here in UK.

last night he knows I wasn’t happy him going out but he still went. He’s living in my house. I really want to ask him leave the house today.

OP posts:
Bebenama · 04/05/2022 08:28

He never brings any dead animals home as I wouldn’t want it

OP posts:
SafelySoftly · 04/05/2022 08:29

You’ve only been together a year, you have children by a previous relationship and he’s moved in (clearly some time ago). Just wow. Your poor kids. End it now.

Seapoint2002 · 04/05/2022 08:29

He is taking the piss out of you! Also he probably doesn't like that you have children as he basically goes out the minute they come home from school.

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/05/2022 08:30

Well pigeon are normally shot coming into roost at dusk and they don't have a season in the uk. So by the time he's gone out they are already tucked up in bed. I have no idea about squirrels!

thedancingbear · 04/05/2022 08:30

If he's spending that time shooting, then I'm the Duchess of York.

oakleaffy · 04/05/2022 08:33

This reply has been deleted

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Haaaha!
Absolutely right.

Lunar27 · 04/05/2022 08:33

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Bang on! Definitely time to pull the trigger.

Shooting almost every night isn't normal. I have hobbies, as do most. They don't take up hours every night though as I want a relationship!

LightningAndRainbows · 04/05/2022 08:34

last night he knows I wasn’t happy him going out but he still went. He’s living in my house. I really want to ask him leave the house today. problem solved then. You don't need an excuse. Just that it isn't working and you'd like him to leave.

3WildOnes · 04/05/2022 08:34

It’s your house so this seems pretty easy, just ask him to leave.

Next time don’t invite a man into your house with your children having known him for under a year.

erikbloodaxe · 04/05/2022 08:35

He's hunting beaver and shooting his load.

Luculentus · 04/05/2022 08:35

Bebenama · 04/05/2022 08:27

He said he shoot pigeon and squirrel and from his friends land. I had a feeling he could be cheating but I just want to get rid him as I don’t see the point if we don’t spend time together. He went out 10pm last night and still not home yet it’s 8:20am here in UK.

last night he knows I wasn’t happy him going out but he still went. He’s living in my house. I really want to ask him leave the house today.

Do exactly that.

OfstedOffred · 04/05/2022 08:36

Oh come on you must see he is absolutely playing you here!

He's barely with you. He could be off married somewhere and treating you as a bit on the side.

Shooting my arse.

WisherWood · 04/05/2022 08:36

It's an oddly specific hobby and the only shooting of living animals that would currently be allowed in the UK. He won't be hunting anything at the moment, although he could have been stag hunting up until the end of last month, to be fair (well could and couldn't. He could have been drag hunting and happened upon stags, quite by chance, officer).

You can either talk to him and try and change him or you can decide the relationship isn't worth anything and boot him out. And next time, don't move anybody in with your children until you've known them a few years.

OfstedOffred · 04/05/2022 08:36

erikbloodaxe · 04/05/2022 08:35
He's hunting beaver and shooting his load.

......this.

Lovemusic33 · 04/05/2022 08:37

Pigeons are not out at night time so fuck knows what he’s really doing, probably leading a double life. He’s living in your house? If so next time he goes shooting bag all his things up, change the locks and leave his things outside. He’s using you for somewhere to live. Sounds like he’s walking all over you.

LemonDrizzleSlice · 04/05/2022 08:37

He's a cocklodger and you really shouldn't have let him move in to your children's home so soon after meeting him.

Piglet89 · 04/05/2022 08:38

@EthicalNonMahogany

He's not a keeper but he might actually be a keeper.

Wins the thread.

OfstedOffred · 04/05/2022 08:39

Honestly do not know why some women think there is anything remotely attractive about a tosser like this.

Can you not just be single? It is better to be single than to move in the first fucking cocklodger who appears.

LuluBlakey1 · 04/05/2022 08:39

It's a disgusting habit. How can you live with a man who wants to spend his life killing for pleasure?

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 04/05/2022 08:40

All the threads that get deleted and this bonkers one is still here 🙄.

ButtockUp · 04/05/2022 08:42

So, just ask him to leave then.

HollowTalk · 04/05/2022 08:44

He says he's shooting pigeons in the middle of the night? Don't be daft! Pack his bags now and put them outside the front door.