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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partner goes shooting almost 5 to 6 days a week

237 replies

Bebenama · 04/05/2022 07:26

been with my partner for a year, for the last 3months he’s been going shooting from 5pm till 11:30pm, and occasionally when he’s off work or weekend he will go all night and come back in the morning about 11am something 3pm in the afternoon. I’m not comfortable with this as I don’t feel that give us any time together.

l work till 4 and have school age kids from previous relationship so I’m the week I’m ready to chill with partner by 8pm. My partner work at home and finish mostly between 5 and 6pm and that is when he have a shower and prepare to go out.

I really don’t understand this shooting and hunting habit. When I met him I know he was into this but thought he only do it few days in a week as mostly he would be at mine by 8pm for just us to have a nice time. This is before we start leaving together about 5 months ago.

He wouldn’t take me out anywhere, anything I suggest he would make excuses so I give up asking. on the other hand I do all the cooking and most house work. I have to cook as I have kids in the house.

please let me know if this is normal relationship for him to go out almost every night and sometimes don’t come home.

OP posts:
RockNess · 04/05/2022 12:57

Unless his quarry is clay pigeons, targets on a range or(at a stretch) rats, he should not be shooting at this time of year (end of breeding/nesting season).

Is he in fact illegally poaching?

lborgia · 04/05/2022 13:00

You missed a trick there OP. 2 days off would've been ideal for moving out.

When he does move out, tell him to use his brain next time. Look up "animals you can shoot at night" because the pigeons and squirrels will be tucked up in their nests.

Maybe that's why he comes home in the daytime, because he can't find anything to shoot until dawn.

I can't help feeling that you've not had much experience of twats.

You've got a bad man there, and so you find yourself a person or two to come round and stay with him whilst you tell him to leave and watch him pack. They can get angry and scary when you stand up to them.

Good luck, but get on with it.

CustardySergeant · 04/05/2022 13:01

I think I know who your partner is!

The name's Bond.

James Bond.

Jupiter92 · 04/05/2022 13:11

DenholmElliot · 04/05/2022 09:08

Where on earth did you meet him? If it was on a dating site (which I'm amazed women still use) then he was probably just looking for a target, someone he could move in with quickly and get all his house-keeping and sex and emotional needs met while he himself continues to live the exact life HE wants. It wouldn't have made much difference who the woman was, as long as she provided this then he was quite happy. Sorry if that sounds upsetting.

Finally, and I always ask this as it makes people stop and think - when was the last time he brought you a bunch of flowers?

I met my DH on a dating app and he's a wonderful man. 😊

Stravaig · 04/05/2022 13:17

There's no legal way for him to be spending this amount of time shooting at live targets in the UK. And why on earth would you let a man whose sole hobby is killing for pleasure move in with you and your kids? This is so much more serious than him not having time to snuggle with you in the evenings. Wake up, OP!

KettrickenSmiled · 04/05/2022 13:19

@Bebenama - are you ok? And are you any closer to just doing exactly what you want to do, ie get this man to fuck off?

2bazookas · 04/05/2022 13:26

That is not normal. Dump and move on.

Peterpiperpickedwrongagain · 04/05/2022 13:30

This reply has been deleted

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BigButtons · 04/05/2022 13:31

This will be deleted pretty soon.

catscatscatseverywhere · 04/05/2022 13:32

It's not normal. Today's shooting, next will be drinking beer with lads or dart or whatever. He just doesn't want to spend time with you. Dump him.

DoYouWantDecking · 04/05/2022 13:47

@Bebenama I am sorry. He's not out shooting is he. I think you know this and that's why you started the thread.
Better to boot him out and live "alone" than live with him and be alone.

I hope you can find the courage to just tell him.
"This is not working for me" and bye. Make sure you change the locks.

3g4g5g · 04/05/2022 13:48

When he says " shooting" I don't think he is talking about the shooting you and I are thinking of 😉

SpindleInTheWind · 04/05/2022 13:51

For the message

BattenburgDonkey · 04/05/2022 13:53

He’s obviously lying isn’t he, if she’s doing it this frequently on his friends land they wouldn’t have any squirrels left to shoot. Even if he isn’t lying, he clearly doesn’t want to live with you OP, time to kick him out and move on.

DiamondBright · 04/05/2022 13:58

He's not shooting pigeons and squirrels at night, he's lying about something, he's either lamping or cheating.

chisanunian · 04/05/2022 14:09

Shooting creatures for fun is despicable, and I wouldn't want to have anything to do with anybody who had that sort of personality.

Opaljewel · 04/05/2022 14:23

I would dump the evil arse for shooting animals alone.

How you can fancy someone like that is beyond me. Not like he is hunting for food!

And beyond that, no one goes hunting that long.

Jaxhog · 04/05/2022 14:28

If he's moved into your house, change the locks and leave a bag with his stuff in on the doorstep.

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/05/2022 14:29

RockNess · 04/05/2022 12:57

Unless his quarry is clay pigeons, targets on a range or(at a stretch) rats, he should not be shooting at this time of year (end of breeding/nesting season).

Is he in fact illegally poaching?

Pigeons don't have an official season. However, they do have a bedtime...! 😂

debwong · 04/05/2022 14:36

He shoots, he scores...

RitaFaircloughsWig · 04/05/2022 14:56

Do you live in Virginia?

IcedOatLatte · 04/05/2022 15:07

JinglingHellsBells · 04/05/2022 10:46

In the UK it's illegal to shoot pigeons. They are protected. I know this because where I live people sometimes have tried to shoot them and neighbours have made it very clear that it's against the law.

Are you from the UK and is English your first language? I only ask as it looks as if you are not familiar with shooting law.

I'm from the Uk and English is my first language but I'm not familiar with shooting laws. Have I missed some vital part of my education, is it something we are all supposed to know? Confused

youvegottenminuteslynn · 04/05/2022 15:42

@JinglingHellsBells

I don't think shooting laws are exactly on the curriculum in the UK, are they?!

GladAllOver · 04/05/2022 15:52

Get shot of him!

SpindleInTheWind · 04/05/2022 16:01

I'm from the Uk and English is my first language but I'm not familiar with shooting laws. Have I missed some vital part of my education, is it something we are all supposed to know?

If you've moved a man in with you and your young children and that man owns guns that he uses 5-6 nights a week, it's probably best to brush up on the law around gun ownership and storage, yes.

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