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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner goes shooting almost 5 to 6 days a week

237 replies

Bebenama · 04/05/2022 07:26

been with my partner for a year, for the last 3months he’s been going shooting from 5pm till 11:30pm, and occasionally when he’s off work or weekend he will go all night and come back in the morning about 11am something 3pm in the afternoon. I’m not comfortable with this as I don’t feel that give us any time together.

l work till 4 and have school age kids from previous relationship so I’m the week I’m ready to chill with partner by 8pm. My partner work at home and finish mostly between 5 and 6pm and that is when he have a shower and prepare to go out.

I really don’t understand this shooting and hunting habit. When I met him I know he was into this but thought he only do it few days in a week as mostly he would be at mine by 8pm for just us to have a nice time. This is before we start leaving together about 5 months ago.

He wouldn’t take me out anywhere, anything I suggest he would make excuses so I give up asking. on the other hand I do all the cooking and most house work. I have to cook as I have kids in the house.

please let me know if this is normal relationship for him to go out almost every night and sometimes don’t come home.

OP posts:
leadmeaway · 04/05/2022 16:03

Blood sports, Illegal poaching, Lamping, hare hunting, cheating on you. Take your pick its likely one of a few of the above, dump the scum bag.

RampantIvy · 04/05/2022 17:58

I wasn't aware of the shooting rules either. A quick google revealed this
www.gov.uk/hunting

I doubt that the OP will be back. I hope she has had the sense to bag up this man's belongings and put them outside the front door.

What's worrying is that if he is living with her where does he keep his gun(s)?

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/05/2022 21:07

Actually is is NOT illegal to shoot wood pigeon - but it can only be done for pest control purposes and reasonable effort to control the situation in other ways must be attempted first. The license that governs pigeon shooting is GL42.
This article sums it up for anyone interested- and for what's it's worth I believe anyone who shoots should be incredibly well versed in the legalities of their quarry.
www.shootinguk.co.uk/shooting/pigeon-shooting/law-on-pigeon-shooting-123194

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/05/2022 21:09

@RampantIvy hopefully he is responsible and has the required gunsafe and gun box in his car properly installed. I'd say 99.9% of people I know who shoot (and that is a lot) are very careful of their guns and appreciate the dangers of them.

theonlygirl · 04/05/2022 21:47

Recently read an article on people who shoot foxes. You need the relevant gun licence and permission from the land owner but its not illegal apparently. £450 call out charge, plus a fee per fox. So he could be doing this, but would presumably need night vision. Regardless, doing this or anything else 5/6 nights a week takes the piss. Not really a relationship is it if you don't spend any quality time together.

lborgia · 04/05/2022 22:17

I do think the hunting is a red herring. Or a red squirrel as the case may be.

Carlycat · 05/05/2022 00:08

I'd find it quite horrific that he's killing animals for pleasure. What a catch

Marvellousmadness · 05/05/2022 01:11

Leave.
He just isnt into you anymore

RightOnTheEdge · 05/05/2022 07:56

Wereeaglesdare · 04/05/2022 09:43

@WisherWood are you for real? You are really not going to live with your partner until their child moves out. I have never heard anything so ridiculous. Well be careful that old saying you never really know someone until you live with them. However if the OP was married I'm sure she would be met with a different response or if the children where biologically his. Now I'm not suggesting for a minute she has chosen a good one he's obviously a player and I wouldn't personally date anyone who liked blood sports that would be like 10 red flags at once. However I just find it laughable the majority of people think that single mothers should remain so until their child has flown the nest.

Well be careful that old saying you never really know someone until you live with them.
Exactly, you said it so why take the risk with your children?

I'm not saying you have to wait until they are 18 or have left home. Of course there are plenty of happy step families but to move a man in after only a few months is absolute madness and selfish. "You don't know someone until you live with them."
No, so you make damn sure that you know as much as possible about them over a long period of time before you try living with them!
Maybe you need to look at yourself and ask why you are so desperate for validation from a man and to be in a couple that you see being a single mother as something to be looked down on.

AChocolateOrangeaday · 05/05/2022 08:21

What happened OP?

Changechangychange · 05/05/2022 08:33

KatherineJaneway · 04/05/2022 09:33

He's likely married and actually lives elsewhere.

This. In what sense does he live with you if he is sleeping elsewhere every night? You mean he pops round to your house for a shower after work - that isn’t living with somebody.

ManateeFair · 05/05/2022 09:20

Bebenama · 04/05/2022 08:27

He said he shoot pigeon and squirrel and from his friends land. I had a feeling he could be cheating but I just want to get rid him as I don’t see the point if we don’t spend time together. He went out 10pm last night and still not home yet it’s 8:20am here in UK.

last night he knows I wasn’t happy him going out but he still went. He’s living in my house. I really want to ask him leave the house today.

He is not shooting pigeons and squirrels in the middle of the night.

He is either involved in something illegal or seeing another woman. He’s using you so he can live in your house.

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