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Original poster

Is this racist?

582 replies

ToastedWaffle · 03/05/2022 21:51

Okay.... so my ex was over at my house tonight to see our kids (he often does this).

Eldest DC was brushing their teeth whilst the same time trying to ask my ex a question.

Because you couldn't make out the words DC was saying with the toothbrush in their mouth, ex then proceeds to imitate the 'sound' saying something like "wah sah wah ha insert random sound here Are you Chinese or something?"

I've just had my arse handed to me by my ex for pointing out it was casually racist and could he not say things like that.

He has kicked up a massive stink which involved shouting, swearing, in which I asked him to leave. Still, the kids overheard him as he was being deliberately loud in shouting at me.

I'm sat here confused as hell.

OP posts:
Discovereads · 03/05/2022 22:26

Indicatrice · 03/05/2022 22:18

Nice try but he was also making up words that he thought sounds Chinese. Clearly racist.

Show quote history

Wah, Sah and Ha are actually Chinese words….

Original poster
ToastedWaffle · 03/05/2022 22:27

MrsH1983 · 03/05/2022 22:22

@NippyWoowoo I just took it as a kid making funny sounds and not being able to understand them. I still don't see it as racist.

If it was just mimicking funny sounds it wouldnt be racist. Associating said funny sounds with a population = racist.

It translates in a childs brain as "Chinese people sound like this"

OP posts:
Indicatrice · 03/05/2022 22:28

Discovereads · 03/05/2022 22:21

That’s not true, in fact the one Chinese person who has posted has said they are not offended at all.

Show quote history

One person who says they are Chinese.

MrsH1983 · 03/05/2022 22:29

I'd be more concerned about the shouting and screaming than the comment.

Indicatrice · 03/05/2022 22:30

@Discovereads

Wah, Sah and Ha are actually Chinese words….

What is your point? Are you saying OP’s DS was speaking Chinese?

Original poster
ToastedWaffle · 03/05/2022 22:30

Discovereads · 03/05/2022 22:26

Wah, Sah and Ha are actually Chinese words….

Show quote history

Now you're clutching at straws. They might well be words in Cantonese or Mandarin but as if my ex would know that. It's racist, Discovereads. Whichever why you spin it.

Would you be happy saying it in front of a chinese person, doing the imitation sounds etc? If the answer is NO, then you know why.

OP posts:
L0stinCyberspace · 03/05/2022 22:30

I think I'd pick up with your DS that it was a incredibly disrespectful and rude way to speak about people from another country (rather than being racist in the way an adult would mean it) and that he was very wrong to mimic someone's language and be sneery about it.

Your ex-P sounds unhinged.

Indicatrice · 03/05/2022 22:31

MrsH1983 · 03/05/2022 22:29

I'd be more concerned about the shouting and screaming than the comment.

That’s why he is OP’s ex. Still doesn’t excuse the racism.

Original poster
ToastedWaffle · 03/05/2022 22:31

MrsH1983 · 03/05/2022 22:29

I'd be more concerned about the shouting and screaming than the comment.

He shouts, swears and rants all the time. It's all he knows. Hence I asked him to leave.

OP posts:
HikingforScenery · 03/05/2022 22:31

Indicatrice · 03/05/2022 22:02

Yes, it was deeply racist, OP. Ignore the racist apologists here, there are many unfortunately Sad

Please don’t let him in to your home again.

i agree with the first paragraph, wholly. Sadly.

Sbqprules · 03/05/2022 22:33

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AffronttoBS · 03/05/2022 22:34

@Indicatrice Yes, I am Chinese. But of course , it’s the internet and you don’t have to believe me.

LightningAndRainbows · 03/05/2022 22:34

But “are you Chinese” is a neutral comment not in this context. In this context it is equating the strange noises coming from sons mouth with a Chinese language.

whynotwhatknot · 03/05/2022 22:35

You know you dont have to let him see the kids in your home

Sbqprules · 03/05/2022 22:35

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Discovereads · 03/05/2022 22:40

Indicatrice · 03/05/2022 22:30

@Discovereads

Wah, Sah and Ha are actually Chinese words….

What is your point? Are you saying OP’s DS was speaking Chinese?

Well he definitely wasn’t making animal noises as a pp has accused.
He was using actual Chinese words that amounted to “wow, sound of wind frog”

Glitternails1 · 03/05/2022 22:43

This is racism. Thank you for pointing this out. It’s really good that your dc have a mum like you who will teach them that it’s not ok to be racist. Anyone who says your ex wasn’t racist are racist.

AffronttoBS · 03/05/2022 22:43

@Discovereads i thought it was more ‘wow, sand stir fried 🍤 prawns’….?

Discovereads · 03/05/2022 22:43

Would you be happy saying it in front of a chinese person, doing the imitation sounds etc? If the answer is NO, then you know why.

Well no, because that would actually be casual racism. But white man to white kid in a way that is actually equivalent to a joke about not understanding what the kid said because it’s all Greek to them…or Chinese…not offensive, not casual racism.

You really can’t compare the two situations as they are worlds apart.

ldontWanna · 03/05/2022 22:43

Nothing to see here folks. Turns out OP's ex was just bilingual and she didn't know it. Confused

bellac11 · 03/05/2022 22:44

NippyWoowoo · 03/05/2022 22:20

But “are you Chinese” is a neutral comment it isn’t derogatory towards Chinese heritage people at all. So it’s not that kind of racism either.

But it isn't neutral because of the context. DC speaking in unintelligible way and having it likened to a minority ethnic language is racist.

It would be no different than if the child had a tangled mass of hair and the dad said 'why is your hair looking like that, are you black?' (Real life example, unfortunately)

Languages that you dont speak or understand are indeed unintelligible.

Minority ethnic is a strange way to preface this. It would be unintelligible if you found yourself in the middle of Italy (assuming you dont speak Italian), where you would be the minority.

Discovereads · 03/05/2022 22:45

AffronttoBS · 03/05/2022 22:43

@Discovereads i thought it was more ‘wow, sand stir fried 🍤 prawns’….?

Lol, yes it could be. Or even clams instead of prawns. I think we’d have to have heard the ex to know as intonation of the words would determine the meaning. :)

Original poster
ToastedWaffle · 03/05/2022 22:45

Discovereads · 03/05/2022 22:43

Would you be happy saying it in front of a chinese person, doing the imitation sounds etc? If the answer is NO, then you know why.

Well no, because that would actually be casual racism. But white man to white kid in a way that is actually equivalent to a joke about not understanding what the kid said because it’s all Greek to them…or Chinese…not offensive, not casual racism.

You really can’t compare the two situations as they are worlds apart.

My child isn't white.

OP posts:
Indicatrice · 03/05/2022 22:46

ldontWanna · 03/05/2022 22:43

Nothing to see here folks. Turns out OP's ex was just bilingual and she didn't know it. Confused

😂

Racists are really reaching today.

powershowerforanhour · 03/05/2022 22:47

"Wah, Sah and Ha are actually Chinese words…."

I was going to say, I bet you my Father Ted box set that OP's ex hasn't a clue what they mean but OP beat me to it.