Is this racist?

[ToastedWaffle]

Okay.... so my ex was over at my house tonight to see our kids (he often does this).

Eldest DC was brushing their teeth whilst the same time trying to ask my ex a question.

Because you couldn't make out the words DC was saying with the toothbrush in their mouth, ex then proceeds to imitate the 'sound' saying something like "wah sah wah ha insert random sound here Are you Chinese or something?"

I've just had my arse handed to me by my ex for pointing out it was casually racist and could he not say things like that.

He has kicked up a massive stink which involved shouting, swearing, in which I asked him to leave. Still, the kids overheard him as he was being deliberately loud in shouting at me.

I'm sat here confused as hell.

Oh dear

There was disagreement as to whether what happened was imitation or mocking. We do know actual Chinese words were used

I was a witness to it. I can tell you wholeheartedly it was both mocking and an imitation of supposedly "Chinese" language.

I dont know what actual words were used. If I asked my ex to recall what he said he wouldn't know either. He may not have even said wah sah... it was just generic monosyllabic sounds in a mock Asian accent. Could have been anything. It's not the point. The point is I don't want my kids normalising this shit and growing up thinking it's fine. It isn't, at least not with me. So no, I'll parent my kids as I see fit thanks in the hopes that they will grow up to be decent, tolerant human beings and not racist thugs.

Just because you were not offended doesn't meant that it was not racist. I am Chinese and I find such throwaway comments appalling.

OK. So we don't agree.

@Discovereads Some Chinese posters have said they did not consider it racist, and others have said they did. So opinion was divided within the Chinese posters themselves.

Interesting how you focused on a single post and not the many, many posts on here from Chinese and mixed race people who have said that it is racist. This thread is full of racists like you. I bet you’re the type who goes “I’m not racist because I have an Asian/black friend” or “I’m not homophobic because my colleague is gay and he’s nice.”

Oh and we’re taught to keep quiet and not raise our concerns about racism because we’d only be attacked more. This thread just proves that point.

That definitely was racist OP, you were right to pull him up on it.

Also, don't let your ex into your house, even if he does live an hour away. He'll just have to take your dC out somewhere. I don't let my ex into my house because he doesn't respect me, or my boundaries. Judging from your report of his behaviour, it sounds like yours is similar.

why are certain posters who don’t think it’s racist only very vocal about it not being racist because of those divided opinions?

Yes, it’s interesting that opinion being divided is used to conveniently allow you to do something that is at the very least controversial. Whereas another way to look at this is “some people aren’t offended, many others are offended - maybe I should err on the side of caution even if I don’t really ‘get’ it myself.’

This goes to the whole point about anyone outside the group in question not getting to pronounce something as non-racist if people - doesn’t need to be 100% - within the group are saying it is.