Is this racist?

[ToastedWaffle]

Okay.... so my ex was over at my house tonight to see our kids (he often does this).

Eldest DC was brushing their teeth whilst the same time trying to ask my ex a question.

Because you couldn't make out the words DC was saying with the toothbrush in their mouth, ex then proceeds to imitate the 'sound' saying something like "wah sah wah ha insert random sound here Are you Chinese or something?"

I've just had my arse handed to me by my ex for pointing out it was casually racist and could he not say things like that.

He has kicked up a massive stink which involved shouting, swearing, in which I asked him to leave. Still, the kids overheard him as he was being deliberately loud in shouting at me.

I'm sat here confused as hell.

You can’t take it 🥱🥱

@Katya213

You sound about 13 😂

Have a good evening!

Oh dear God. You just be just so much fun to be around

Let me guess - you “don’t see colour”?

That all you’ve got?

😊

As someone who grew up Chinese in an almost exclusively white area (the only diversity being me and my siblings), I recognise this.

I bet I could exactly imitate his mimicking of the Chinese language down to the ‘funny’ movements, I saw it so often.

I think it is racist. It would be water off a duck’s back now, but it was a source of considerable distress and school refusal for a large part of my primary school years, so thank you for teaching your child that it isn’t OK.

All these stories on here 😔 Precisely the reason I wont tolerate racism. No child should be left feeling this way. Don't know how people can not find this upsetting. Racism is most definitely taught.

Evening - we've had some reports about the posts on this thread so we're just adding this reminder: please do think before posting so that we can keep threads civil. Thank you.

Unsurprisingly, they can't get their heads round white ppl getting involved in things that are "none of their business".

What does this mean? Who are "they"? What is none of whose business?

I thought the post was quite clear. Some black people can't understand this fashion for white ppl fighting POC's battles. It is patronising.

Sounds like a sweeping generalisation to me

I really don't understand why, if white privilege is defined as youvegottenminuteslynn did, why it is then used as an insult to white people who have different opinions about racism?

It is was indeed used purely in the context of changes in policies, then that would be fine, although I've never heard it used once within the social care and the nhs arena.

Indeed, it's not used by professionals, it is only used as a throw away, simple insult to white people.

That's why so many hate the term. Using it this way defies the exact purpose of its definition. You never get anywhere using a term as an insult.

I havent seen it used as an insult, unless your definition is different to mine.

Recognising it exists isn't insulting. It's not a slur on white people.

Then report the thread if you think I'm trolling for giggles.

But it happened, it is disgusting behaviour and thankfully the majority see it for what it is.

Indeed, it's not used by professionals, it is only used as a throw away, simple insult to white people.

That's simply not true though is it? Even on this thread, even in just our conversation alone, I haven't used it as a throwaway insult or any other type of insult for that matter.

I've used it in context, being sure to describe it carefully and logically. Where have I used the term as an insult?

I haven't. So no, it isn't 'always' used as an insult to white people at all...

I'd be happy to seeing as I'm black. 😎

Well, this thread has escalated.

OP, please stop explaining yourself to those who do not understand that what your ex did was wrong, and was indeed racist.

This thread is probably going to be deleted soon according to the post upthread from MNHQ.

I thought the post was quite clear. Some black people can't understand this fashion for white ppl fighting POC's battles. It is patronising
And some are more than happy for them to be involved because when they try to talk they are marginalised.
Oh and heads up, not all POC are black.

@Gilead - I'm only tagging you because you're the most recent in this line of comments..

How can white middle class privileged women support POC without it being seen as "fighting their battles for them", or "patronising"?

I've been tussling with it for the last few minutes, Because I'm clearly privileged, but I have no control over that. I do have control over what I say and do.

My frame of reference is of course different, so it's not going to be the same as if I was standing up for myself, but I'm also loathed to just read and nod supportively at the screen.

I'm genuinely interested. If any one who is actually a person of colour would like to chip in, I'd be grateful.

I’m passing white until the sun hits. I’m actually Mediterranean but have been called P* for most of my sixty odd years. White middle class women have been supporting people of colour for years as local councillors, as MPs, as health workers, social workers , health visitors etc. These are allies and they are the people that help get laws changed etc. It’s not enough but if POC were left to fight their own battles we would have even fewer representatives than we currently have. It’s about support, it’s a merger, not a take over bid.

I'm Chinese. Personally, I feel it's fine for white middle-class privileged women to speak out against racism.
To be honest, I haven't given it much thought, though.

What's less fine is "white middle class privileged women" deciding what isn't racist and insisting that everyone else is virtue signalling or overreacting. That's way more patronising.

And what's not fine at all, and even more patronising is "white middle class privileged women" telling a Chinese/Black/Indian/etc what is or isn't racist and that they're overreacting or "woke" or a hundred other ways to deny the racism.

Well said @RaiseTheBar !