Is this racist?

[ToastedWaffle]

Okay.... so my ex was over at my house tonight to see our kids (he often does this).

Eldest DC was brushing their teeth whilst the same time trying to ask my ex a question.

Because you couldn't make out the words DC was saying with the toothbrush in their mouth, ex then proceeds to imitate the 'sound' saying something like "wah sah wah ha insert random sound here Are you Chinese or something?"

I've just had my arse handed to me by my ex for pointing out it was casually racist and could he not say things like that.

He has kicked up a massive stink which involved shouting, swearing, in which I asked him to leave. Still, the kids overheard him as he was being deliberately loud in shouting at me.

I'm sat here confused as hell.

@vivainsomnia teachers also aren’t allowed to say “I support the Conservatives and think everyone should vote for them.”

Does that mean the Conservative party is inherently bad?

It's responses like this that totally undermine your views. How do you expect people to take your views seriously when all you can do is through insults.

This is my ex to a tee. Everything is taken as an insult and from that point he just deflects the conversation. I'm beginning to think it is deliberate.

@ToastedWaffle

It's not almost gaslighting, it is gaslighting.

Some things @vivainsomnia has said

"time to lighten up!"

"people like you seem to get some innner pleasure at pointing out that others are racist that is really not healthy."

And yet when when privilege is called out, that is 'insulting' and 'belittling' to white people.

Same behaviours exhibited by my ex. Not just about race topic but literally anything you point out to him. Precisely why he is an ex, nobody could put up with this for sustained periods of time.

@vivainsomnia

Ok, so I was a bit fast and picked the wrong quote and indeed, I'm not prepared to waste 1/2 h or more to troll back to find a real example.

But you are willing to keep posting making the same claim you can't back up.

It's embarrassing.

You've already conceded that it's not 'only ever' used as an insult to white people which is what you claimed.

Now you won't concede that you were lying when you said that's happened on this thread.

When I said earlier you won't face uncomfortable truths you said I was being unfair.

Thanks for proving I wasn't.,;

I read that it is actually illegal for a teacher to use that term as a fact in their teaching.
Not true, try reading in context, it’s tremendously helpful.

Some commentators have observed that the "academic-sounding concept of white privilege" sometimes elicits defensiveness and misunderstanding among white people, in part due to how the concept of white privilege was rapidly brought into the mainstream spotlight through social media campaigns such as Black Lives Matter.[17] As an academic concept that was only recently brought into the mainstream, the concept of white privilege is frequently misinterpreted by non-academics; some academics, having studied white privilege undisturbed for decades, have been surprised by the seemingly sudden hostility from right-wing critics since approximately 2014
Quite from Wikipedia.This is exactly the problem. White privilege being an academic term that's been around for a long time now being branded by media fanatics who think it arose recently and think of themselves as the educated one for using in every possible context nowadays.

I will say it again! I have no issue with the social philosophical concept. Its spit on. The way it used to shout 'racist' at white people who dare having a different definition or opinion of racism to them, who shout they only they are right and know the facts (non science academic never refer to their philosophy as facts!), and attack them by implying they lack intelligence are in no interpreting the concept as it was originally developed.

You can keep on insulting and insulting, this is only a reflection of you as a person. So my views are simar to your ex OP (even though I have never made fun of Chinese people or any race and be we would, but ok), so what?

You are different, you don't have the same values, you made the error to build a life with him. That doesn't make you a perfect person and him the evil. You have principles, with different interpretations. That's how the world goes round.

I don't have any issues with anyone views here, I don't appreciate being belittled, my intelligence and values questioned, just because I might not agree with your definition of racism. That does NOT make racist.

*From the Guardian 'English schools should not teach “contested theories and opinions … such as white privilege” as fact, the government has said prior to the publication of new guidance outlining how teaching certain political issues could break the law.

Schools should avoid promoting “partisan political views” and must instead teach racial and social justice topics in a “balanced and factual manner”, according to the government’s official response to a report on the educational disadvantages faced by white working-class pupils published by the education committee in June

Now you won't concede that you were lying when you said that's happened on this thread
Fine! Page 9: a poster write : 'if you see it as racist, why are you here for validation of your judgement', which is a fair comment.

She was told by a poster I won't name: in other words, if you see racism, just shut and put up so that my white fragility isn't affected, IE. my white privilege.

And what about 'just a reminder to white women in particular, you do not get to say if it's racism or not.

Followed by a poster answering 'and yet more privilege', all in insult.

I've been told that I'm deliberately misunderstanding, goading, a liar, humiliating myself, obstinate, embarrassing myself, and ignorant more time than I can't count. All because I dare say 'time to lighten up'.

Many posters have written they didn't think it was racist. All have been accused of being racist. Because it's a fact ...

I like how you left out the rest of the article

@vivainsomnia

I said you lied because you said this:

Indeed, it's not used by professionals, it is only used as a throw away, simple insult to white people.

Which is a lie.

HTH.

@vivainsomnia

Fine! Page 9: a poster write : 'if you see it as racist, why are you here for validation of your judgement', which is a fair comment.
She was told by a poster I won't name: in other words, if you see racism, just shut and put up so that my white fragility isn't affected, IE. my white privilege.

I was the one who said the bit in italics, you can name me 😁

Why do you think @Labscollie 's comment was fair? It was basically telling OP she shouldn't have posted. When you tell someone that you shouldn't have posted, you're asking to be protected from their views because you find them uncomfortable. So you are in effect telling the victim to put up and shut up.

What is insulting about that?

Please do note that @Labscollie has had a number of posts deleted.

@vivainsomnia

Followed by a poster answering 'and yet more privilege', all in insult.

Also me 😁

My comment was made after lots of posts from while people saying 'this doesn't bother me'.

Do you really not see how breathtakingly arrogant it is for white people to decide what should or shouldn't bother people of colour?

@vivainsomnia still whining on about white privilege being an insult. Maybe it is you who should lighten up.

It's because of white privilege that white people find it so easy to ignore and ignore racism. Especially casual racism,the micro aggressions, systemic racism. They don't experience any of it, their skin colour automatically offers them protection.

How many posters that think white privilege doesn't exist outside academia and theoretical discussion have had to talk to their children about being stopped by the police in minute detail? Have had to told their kids never to run,mouth off, look threatening in any way, not to make any sudden moves?

How many posters have been told to fuck off back home?
How many posters have had their accent,mannerism,culture mocked or fetishised?

How many stopped to think whether going to a certain pub/area might cause trouble?

How many have been told that their natural appearance is inherently messy and not professional?

I'm white but not British. I've met plenty racist/xenophobic twats and had comments thrown at me. That only happens however, after I open my mouth or they hear my name. On appearance only I pass. I'm safe. I experience it a lot less. I'm blissfully unaware of how many other people would say or do something.That's my white privilege.

IE. my white privilege
You were not talking about you, but the poster's and you know it!

My comment was made after lots of posts from while people saying 'this doesn't bother me'
Whatever the context, I was told that I was lying when I said it had been used to insult posters here. Here it was.

Sad I had to go back to pages because I was told I was wrong, ignorant and the rest.

Do you really not see how breathtakingly arrogant it is for white people to decide what should or shouldn't bother people of colour?
No more than telling everyone who gives an opinion that they are racist, especially when some posters of colour themselves have said they wouldn't have been offended by it. There is no such thing as Internet racism police, no-one is qualified to accuse anyone of being racist here.

no-one is qualified to accuse anyone of being racist here.

That's where you are wrong.

@vivainsomnia

Wait, this is now your example of the phrase 'white privileged' being used to insult white people?

Do you really not see how breathtakingly arrogant it is for white people to decide what should or shouldn't bother people of colour?

The phrase 'white privilege' isn't even used in that example!

Are you not reading what you're posting?

@vivainsomnia I think it’s quite telling that the noises op’s ex were making were the same noises that the police considered a hate crime when they were directed at my dh. Any thoughts on that? Do the opinions of the real police outweigh the opinions of the internet police or are we still going to pretend it’s ok?

That's where you are wrong
Oh yes, the Internet police! You can of course say it, but it certainly doesn't make you right.

The phrase 'white privilege' isn't even used in that example!
Oh please, is this how low we are going to sink! It is exactly what was implied.

Anyway, I'm really out now, too much time wasted with people who are much too inclined to prove averyone else wrong and will distort anything said to suit their beliefs that they have deemed facts and use any insults they can think of in the process.

I think it’s quite telling that the noises op’s ex were making were the same noises that the police considered a hate crime when they were directed at my dh. Any thoughts on that? Do the opinions of the real police outweigh the opinions of the internet police or are we still going to pretend it’s ok?

What are you on about! I never defended the guy. I just said that it wasn't forcibly racist. It wasn't done and said to a chinese person. It wasn't said to hurt anyone. It's not comparable. Do you really think the police would have come to arrest the guy if OP had called them?

Many posters agreed it wasn't racism or bad. Some not white. Why can't you (all those so happy to accuse everyone of racism) accept that your view doesn't rule the world or give you the right to label strangers?

@vivainsomnia

I mean... Are you not reading what you're posting? This is madness...

You: White privilege is a term only ever used to insult white people

Others: it's not only used in that way, for example nobody in this thread has used it in that way

You: yes they have

Others: give us an example then

You: (gives example of a poster who disagrees with the term using it in a sentence insulting someone who agrees with it)

Others: yeah you've quoted someone not using it in the context you've said at all

You: well I'm not wasting time finding other examples

Others: there are no other examples of the phrase white privilege being used only to insult white people

You: yes there are (quotes phrase that doesn't even include the term at all)

Others: that doesn't even include the term

You: "Oh please, is this how low we are going to sink! It is exactly what was implied."

Then you flounce.

You lied, misrepresented what actually happened on this thread and then flounced.

Congrats.

It's deliberate and not in good faith at all

You: White privilege is a term only ever used to insult white people
Let's make one thing clear, I never said that.

The rest, not worth commenting, same old manipulative garbage aimed at belittling. The same attitude I've seen with bully managers, skilled with the use of language to insult politely as they claim and put others down who don't agree with them.

Your literal words:

"Indeed, it's not used by professionals, it is only used as a throw away, simple insult to white people."

"Only". It's "only used" as an insult to white people. That's literally what you said. On this thread.

At least read your own words properly.

@vivainsomnia I quite patiently typed out a long post explaining how that kind of behavior at home leads to kids copying it outside home in public, towards people they perceive as being of that race. Which could lead to those kids getting in to trouble at school or in to trouble with the police. Is that ok with parents who think this isn’t racist? Are they happy to have their kids (who may not even been doing it maliciously, or be aware it’s rude/racist, just saying something “funny” they heard at home) accused of being racist because of parents’ behavior at home?