Would it be offensive & rude to ask a family member to stop sending me pics of their dc?

[FabulousFlowerpots]

I just want to check if I'm being rude here. I want to ask (nicely) a family member not to send me pics of their kids. I'm not interested in a 100 pics of what Johnny ate for breakfast, Johnny getting the bus, Johnny eating his ice cream, Johnny at soft play, Johnny having his afternoon nap etc. You get the idea. I told a friend I want to stop the pics and she said there's nothing I can say that won't cause offence. What d'you think? Aibu? How can I handle this better?

We have a family whatsapp group. 1 member seems to monopolise and sends multiple (usually boring) photos and videos per day, as well as text messages. DH tried to leave but his sister added him back in 😂

I would mute her and reply occasionally.

I don't understand why anyone would bombard another person with photos of their DC.

Speak for yourself! everyone most certainly does NOT feel the same as you!!

Occasional photos and updates are lovely, even a photo album when they were popular but daily photos of anyone's DC would get tiring.

Yes, some of us are.

OP, just mute them on WhatsApp and send a generic response once in a while, or you'll never hear the end of it.

Just ignore! No need to say anything that may cause upset. Occasionally open the messages and reply saying ‘aw that’s nice’ or whatever along those lines, they’ll soon get fed up of sending them when they know you’re not likely to reply (you don’t have to flat out tell them you don’t care). Hopefully they get the hint and give it a rest.

Some people are so deluded and conceited that they convince themselves that others must be jealous and desperate to be them.

No, she simply doesn't enjoy the stream of spam.

I read it as dic pics too, and wondered why you needed to be polite! You can tell those of us with filthy minds. You don't have to respond to every photo OP. You haven't said how close a relative it is either.

You haven't said if it's a family group or just you personally? If it's a family chat yabu because obviously they share it with other family members and you could just delete them. If it's personally for just you and the person posting them to you expects a response or reply every time then yanbu. I would just ignore and delete and maybe send the odd message now and then. But if they expected more interaction I would probably have to say thanks but can you just update me now and then so you have time to reply. Just to be polite and hope they get the hint.

I send my MIL photos of my three kids every now and again..maybe one photo every week or so, depending on what we're doing. Usually showing what we're up to..eg at the beach, zoo, etc. She almost never comments on them..Op - be honest - are you my MIL??!

You’ll have to either ignore most pics or start to send motorbike pics in response.

if Johnny is getting the bus, send a motorcycle pic saying can’t wait til he’s old enough for cooler transport. Etc.

Oops - I voted YANBU (because you really aren’t) but realised that perhaps the other is a better answer to your question.
Sadly yes, it will cause offence to most people. It wouldn’t to me but I am thick-skinned… but also sensible and wouldn’t be sending multiple photos anyway!
Strongly advise muting the WApp group though - I’ve muted several large groups (constant pings with non-urgent msgs drive me nuts)

'How can I handle this better?'

Turn off notifications and stop the images going into your gallery automatically.

1. A hobby is not remotely equivalent to a child to whom you are related, because generally it’s reasonable for people to assume you have a degree of affection for nieces/nephews/whatever. You sound like you actually resent the child’s existence as much as you resent the photos.

1. Just mute the chat ffs. There is no nice way to say “I actively dislike seeing photos of your child”.

I've had to mute the family chat (DH's side), because it also got ridiculous with the photos. I send the occasional photo that everyone might actually find interesting....but I don't need to see what you're having for dinner unless it's something really spectacular or unusual (yes, one SIL really does this sometimes)

YANBU, but I agree with others that no matter how nicely you word it, they probably will be offended or upset.

I'd go with ignoring the pictures first to see if it eases off a bit.

Either stop commenting or start sending lots of pics of your day.

You're not being unreasonable to not want the pictures, but you are unreasonable to think there's any way to stop it without the sender being offended. So realistically your choices are:

Tell them to stop but accept they'll be pissed off, or
Mute the thread and bite your tongue

If you're feeling particularly belligerent then for every pic they send you, send them one of your motorbike. But I don't imagine that would end very peacefully either!

I see no one's saying tell them. I bet other people would be annoyed with me if I spammed them with pics of every bit of my motorbike that I'm restoring.

Yes but hardly anyone would say 'don't send me pics cos I'm not interested.' They'd have manners.

If you CBA with the pics the just ignore them; just reply to the person's written messages, or go 'oh lovely' without actually looking at the pics.

You don't have to reply to any messages/pics immediately.

I don't have kids BTW couldn't have them, but I still like to see cute pics especially as they hold meaning for friends.

But if the pics annoy you just ignore the pics. Or go 'oh that's nice.'

Yes, it's annoying and ott, but the kind of person who sends that many photos probably will be offended if you ask them to stop. Hide the photos and only check once a day, every few days, whatever you decide is reasonable. Respond politely but sparingly to keep the peace, unless this is someone you don't mind offending. They'll either take the hint or get bored on their own, eventually. No-one can keep up that pace indefinitely.

I'd ask if they could add the photos to a shared album in Google photos or something that you can check in on, because the notifications for so many photos are getting to be too much. It isn't then that you don't want to see Johnny's photos (even if you don't) but rather that you'd like one place to check them🤷‍♀️

No. I would just ignore them

Is it via WhatsApp?

I think you’d be able to ask if they can post them on social media instead of via message. “Easier to enjoy them on the big computer screen when I’m online.” Or something similar.

I'd probably just stop responding to the messages. I think it would be rude to say anything. A lot of people I know with kids seem to think they're the only people on the planet to reproduce and think your interested in seeing a minute by minute run down of their day.... Best to just not reply and they will get the message. If they ask at some stage did you get them just a "yes sorry I was flat out" and leave it at that. Most people would get the hint eventually but then again they might not.

Life is full of spam, yours happens to be pictures of kids. I'm sure you don't need a group of people to tell you it's offensive to mention anything, it takes seconds to delete / mark as read or whatever you need to do. No need for a big fuss and bother that will offend.