Would it be offensive & rude to ask a family member to stop sending me pics of their dc?

[FabulousFlowerpots]

I just want to check if I'm being rude here. I want to ask (nicely) a family member not to send me pics of their kids. I'm not interested in a 100 pics of what Johnny ate for breakfast, Johnny getting the bus, Johnny eating his ice cream, Johnny at soft play, Johnny having his afternoon nap etc. You get the idea. I told a friend I want to stop the pics and she said there's nothing I can say that won't cause offence. What d'you think? Aibu? How can I handle this better?

It's likely the constant ''Ting...Ting.....Ting''' as pics of someone else's DC come through.

Just mute the conversation or put your phone on silent.

Not petty at all and some referred to it as 'PA' which I decipher as passive aggressive which is by far the best kind of aggression. I'd send her pictures of every nut and bolt!

Unless you never inadvertently send people pics that they find boring, or never talk about anything to other people except the topics that those people like, then yes, YABU.

You probably bore people sometimes too without meaning to. We all share things that interest us but probably others not as much. It’s being social. “You listen to me telling you how my motorbike is coming on, and I’ll listen to you talking about the funny thing Johnny did the other day”. Give and take.

Just make occasional brief responses and put it out of your mind.

I'm sure they 'care' but are not utterly, selfishly obsessive, having a baby is quite easy, millions do it, rebuilding a motorbike takes real skill.

How are they related?
How are they being sent?
How often?

This is the obvious solution. Reply back with motorbike pics every damn time, if it's just a one to one chat.

I'd tell them that not everyone finds their child as exciting as they do and you don't need a million photos of him every day..... I love honesty though. If they get offended by that then they are the one with the problem.

I must be in the minority but I find this a bit sad!
If a relative sent me loads of pics of their DC, I may not respond to each individually but I'd send something like a 💕 or a short comment to a more interesting one.

People are proud of their children. They naturally feel that their children are the best thing since sliced bread and believe everyone feels the same - especially other relatives.

Are you close with this person? Did you grow up together ? (That would change how you respond)

Of course you could be blunt and say, can you stop sending me pictures, but it will 100% cause offence. Not sure what the harm is though unless it's emotionally upsetting or you feel they're inappropriate such as bath time pics (have a friend who sends these and I comment awww 💕 etc and delete asap)

How is she sending them? If it's WhatsApp I agree with muting and if you want you can occasionally do a 'that's nice' every few days.

Please don't spoil your quality of life unnecessarily. Heating is expensive. Lighting isn't.

How much does it cost to have a light on for 1 hour?
Incandescent bulb £0.019
Halogen bulb £0.013
LED bulb £0.003

If you have halogen bulbs, it's only 1p an hour
If you have LEDs, then you need to have one on for over 3 hours to spend 1p
It's well nigh immpossible to get incandescent bulbs, so I'm assuming you don't have any.

I remember going into work with TWO albums of photos of my baby. And sitting there expecting each person I gave them to to look at every page.

This was 35 years ago, but I still cringe. I really wish that someone had very gently said something. I totally understand why they didn't though.

Just mute the chat, or hide the posts, much easier than offending them. Is it a 1:1 chat, group chat or just social media posts? Quite easy to just mute a group and no one will notice.

It would be incredibly rude and hurtful of you to say stop sending pics. I’ve just had someone say similar to me and I only send a few times a year. Birthdays etc. I was told it was too much. That person has truly hurt me and I don’t want them in my childrens lives now. So think carefully.

I'd leave the group and say I need a break from social media for a bit. Then they can keep posting and you don't have to look at their pictures or ask them to change what they like to do.
Some people actually really like looking at that stuff and sharing it, my Aunts are all about other people's kid, nephew, grand kid, niece pictures.
Like Nanny Ogg the pair of them. They are the sort to cart sweets in their bags to give to crying bairns on buses as well. I swear they would find a toddler to cootchy coo at in a dystopian wasteland.
Me not so much. I opt out of those whatsapp groups under 'need a break' protocols. Those protocols exist to create none rude exit from endless pics of squashy faced kids in the bath/in a tree/at the park etc.
There are plenty of others to take up the coo slack.
I think it would be hurtful to technically say 'Fuck your kids, I don't want to see their squashy faced arbitrary life stuff.'
Definitely don't do this.

this made me laugh 😃

Ask them to set up a photo sharing album, so you can check in on it when you have time to sit down and enjoy them with a cuppa (lie). You can then have a look when you feel like it, if you want to and comment etc.
we do this with our family and it works well, people can look in if they want to.

Why can't you just mute the conversation?

It could be worse, I have a friend who sends me pictures and videos of her cat constantly..... I just don't reply most of the time now.

This was going to be my suggestion too - you can tell them that you are struggling for storage on your phone and ask them to set up a shared album. Then immediately mute the notifications.

I’d hate that. Some people spend their lives documenting everything that happens with photos to show to other people and it’s tedious, child or not.

Assume they are sending them on WhatsApp or text? I guess if you don't want to say something outright, you need to hint at your disinterest. The only way to do that is to give minimal response or feedback to them. There’s a few options and only you can decide what you can get away with. Eg 1) don’t engage with any photos - if you’re sent one, reply with nothing about the photo; 2) ignore most photos and make very short / bland comments on the others; 3) acknowledge all of the photos but with a very disinterested emoji eg a thumbs up.

Some people on here surprise me if they really can’t imagine that it’s annoying having your phone pinging hundreds of times with photos of someone you just aren’t interested in but feel forced to comment on. It’s pretty much spam!

I don't know why but this brilliantly succinct response has made me laugh ... it could and should be posted on every single AIBU thread

Well, thank you 💐

I’m glad to be a bright spot

Block her number
Delete her from fb
Etc etc

Sorry, I read that as 'dic'. Made reading the responses much funnier though!!

It's late....