Mum slapped me

[Ohdearrr]

i don’t even know why I’m writing this but I just need to get it out and rant. I have my own home but I’ve been at my parents for a bit whilst they have been away watering their plants, putting their bins out etc. I left a bag of my DDs toy in their porch that they have at their house as I want to sort them out for charity, as some of them she has outgrown.

They came back today. My mum was annoyed that I’d left the bag of toys in the porch. She said ‘you could have sorted them instead of being sat on your arse’ I got really annoyed at this and said I’ve been fucking helping out putting your bins out etc. She then slapped me straight in the face saying don’t you swear at me in my face. I’m so cross. I’m 26 year old. Don’t even know what to think about this.

You could always tell her that you will report her to the police if she assaults you again.

Someone earlier mentioned menopause…. possible if it was out of character?

No excuse though, I’m sorry OP, I hope you get a grovelling apology - but even with that, I’d be keeping my distance for a while.

How baffling that a parent hitting a child is completely out of order when the child is a toddler, and a husband hitting his wife is abusive and should be reported and divorced asap, but a mother hitting her adult child is apparently not that bad to some people because the daughter swore.

double standards everywhere.

That's so sad OP. I think you were allowed a little swear in light of what she said. Her reaction was OTT. Let her stew on it. Maybe something really horrible happened while she was away and she took it out on you. That's not an excuse though. Let her contact you first and see what she has to say.

No, speaking as a menopausal woman, I'd say that slapping your adult daughter round the face is not a symptom of the menopause.

You did not "both" behave badly. You responded to a rude comment, and then she assaulted you.
It's always when it's a woman on the end of physical abuse that people find reasons she must have deserved it.

Can anyone explain what “spirit of the sight” means?

I can't imagine my children saying they'd belt someone. Sorry it just made me laugh. It reminded me of the "hard" kid at school. 😂

This 100%!

THAT’S what you take from this?!?!

No, I don’t imagine every woman hitting menopause suddenly start slapping people close to them about 🙄However, it’s not inconceivable that mood changes associated with menopause could cause trigger the odd woman to escalate a situation she wouldn’t usually in the way OP described.

That's one way to look at it.
Another would be that she's keeping her child away from someone who belts people across the face as a form of discipline.

I’d never speak to her again. No way would she have access to my children. She’s a cunt.

Lovely!

She hit her daughter. I don’t think I have to be ‘lovely’ about people who are violent.

She’s 55. The ageism on this thread! Not everyone who acts out of character suddenly over the age of 50 can be instantly diagnosed with a progressive neurological disease. And I say this as a daughter with tons of experience.

There is no excuse for violence like that. Swearing? Fuck off! No excuse. I would be in no hurry to see her and definitely not leaving her alone with her grandkids.

She assaulted you. It is domestic abuse.
You can call the police and be supported by any number of charities.
There must be some very blurry lines about boundaries. Stay safe and hope you are okay.
She needs to appreciate she has seriously cross a line and apologise authentically without a but in sight

Also - interfamilial domestic abuse, where I live, makes up 24% of reported domestic abuse crime stats.
It escalates, people rarely seek help and is very unpleasant and filled with risk.

I know that wasn’t the OP’s case but all the ill informed judgements on here and shaming of those - saying ‘I could never do that to my mother’ - will never help someone facing abuse from a family member to see it is a crime or learn how to access support for decision making.

Yeah but you could for half a second consider the fact it was out of character and there is something else at play (Especially a close family member). It would be my firtst thought. Not to call them a cunt and go no contact. That's a bit cuntish to me. But knock yourself out with how you view people.

Happy for you to think I’m ‘cuntish’. Zero tolerance of violence.

FFS if you read my second post, I said that her mother shouldn't have slapped her.

I read "Mum slapped me", and thought it might have been a teen who was gobbing off at her mum.. and mum lashed out. Not someone in their 20s who swore once in a sentence regarding exasperation at not feeling appreciated for the favour they did.

I wont blame you for going no contact for a while tbh. Let things settle for a bit.

I'll correct that, Zero tolerance for people with issues/illness and anything which doesnt suit your idea of normal behaviour! Im assuming we dont work in the same area. Its probably why my first assumption is there's a glitch and not that someone has become violent overnight!

Im sure OPs mum will be booking a GP appointment next week to have her illness diagnosed. 🙄 The most likely explanation is she lost her temper and lashed out and you know it. Your work may be affecting your judgement here. And if OP stays around, it’ll probably happen again. Maybe her child next time if she leaves toys on the floor. Nope, wouldn’t be waiting around for that day to come.

I've got daughters aged 25 and 23 and while I am cross on the rare occasion about how they speak to me, I would never, ever dream of slapping them on the face!! My own mum, who was slap happy when I was a child about 100 years ago, would never have dreamt of slapping me when I was an adult!! That's just unacceptable. I don't know where you go from here.