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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum slapped me

298 replies

Ohdearrr · 30/04/2022 18:55

i don’t even know why I’m writing this but I just need to get it out and rant. I have my own home but I’ve been at my parents for a bit whilst they have been away watering their plants, putting their bins out etc. I left a bag of my DDs toy in their porch that they have at their house as I want to sort them out for charity, as some of them she has outgrown.

They came back today. My mum was annoyed that I’d left the bag of toys in the porch. She said ‘you could have sorted them instead of being sat on your arse’ I got really annoyed at this and said I’ve been fucking helping out putting your bins out etc. She then slapped me straight in the face saying don’t you swear at me in my face. I’m so cross. I’m 26 year old. Don’t even know what to think about this.

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 30/04/2022 19:10

Not ideal that you swore at her, though maybe she was being goady? Either way, her actions were totally ott and inappropriate.

Text her and say that because of her assault on you today neither you nor your DD will be visiting her in the near future, and that from now on you will be unavailable to look after her house when she goes away.

Then just back off and have as little contact with her as possible. Ignore any whinges from her and attempts to turn it back on you.

chisanunian · 30/04/2022 19:11

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 19:03

Fancy reporting your own mother to the police... 😳

Would it have been all right to report it to the police if it had been her father who hit her?

doveseternal · 30/04/2022 19:11

Also you shouldn't allow your DC around someone who is violent.

pigsDOfly · 30/04/2022 19:12

vodkaredbullgirl · 30/04/2022 18:58

HmmI would never swear at my mother.

Swearing at anyone, whether it's your mother or a stranger, isn't ideal but assaulting someone by slapping them across the face is completely unacceptable.

It would need some very serious explanations for the behaviour and a grovelling apology before I could forgive someone for hitting me like that.

Horrible thing to do.

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 19:12

chisanunian · 30/04/2022 19:11

Would it have been all right to report it to the police if it had been her father who hit her?

Show quote history

Wouldn’t report my own father either no but that’s not what happened is it? I said MOTHER because the op is about her MOTHER

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 30/04/2022 19:14

I'd find it really hard to get past this. Sorry OP, what a shock x

Bizzimomma · 30/04/2022 19:15

Was there really any need for Op's mum to rant about a bag of toys and make a sarcastic comment ? I'd have slapped her back 🙄

PenelopeLively · 30/04/2022 19:16

Are you ok op, is this totally out of the blue?

mbosnz · 30/04/2022 19:18

Mmmm, that's the last they'd be seeing of me. For quite some time.

Campervangirl · 30/04/2022 19:19

I think slapping someone in the face is horrendous, I feel like it's designed to humiliate.
Any type of violence is obviously always wrong but face slapping is just on another level for me.
If anyone slapped me in the face I'd cut them off, no going back ever, dm or not.
Slapping you in the face for swearing is a complete over reaction but again on MN we have posters victim blaming, like it's OK to physically assault someone 🙄
She was rude and swore at you "sitting on your arse" you swore back, she set the tone then took it too another level.
You're a 26 Yr old getting slapped in the face by another woman, unbelievable.
What happened after she slapped you? 💐

Jenniedontbehasty · 30/04/2022 19:20

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 19:03

Fancy reporting your own mother to the police... 😳

Fancy assaulting your own adult daughter. The mother needs reporting to the Police. She needs to see she can’t behave like that.

JoeGoldberg · 30/04/2022 19:22

There's a massive difference between being sworn at and being slapped across the face. OP didn't behave badly at all, she was frustrated after helping her parents and essentially being called lazy! And she's a bloody adult. OPs mum actually DID behave badly.

I wouldn't be doing anything for them for a very long time OP. And I'd be expecting an apology.

chisanunian · 30/04/2022 19:23

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 19:12

Wouldn’t report my own father either no but that’s not what happened is it? I said MOTHER because the op is about her MOTHER

Show quote history

No need to shout, dear.

So... you condone assault against women, do you?

Rainbowshine · 30/04/2022 19:24

I think I would see if she made a move to apologise, and acknowledge she was out of order or really sincere about it. So maybe wait a day or so. If she doesn’t, I would report the assault on the non emergency online form that most police services have. Why - because a line has been crossed and the behaviour may escalate. I would never let her be alone with your DD, ever, regardless of any apology.

lemonyfox · 30/04/2022 19:24

vodkaredbullgirl · 30/04/2022 18:58

HmmI would never swear at my mother.

Hang on, you're focusing on the swearing and not the physical assault? What's wrong with your perception...

forlornlorna1 · 30/04/2022 19:26

Oh op I hope you're ok. I imagine you're feeling very upset. You didn't deserve to be slapped by your mom no matter what you said. Let's face it if your husband slapped you for swearing at him all of mn would be screaming leave the bastard.

JoeGoldberg · 30/04/2022 19:27

Can't believe some posters are focusing more on the random swear word than the physical attack! What. The. Fuck.

Georgyporky · 30/04/2022 19:27

I'd have slapped her back.
I think the Police will have more important things to do.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 30/04/2022 19:27

that sounds awful
what did your dad do/say?

JuneOsborne · 30/04/2022 19:27

That must have been horrible. And a total shock too.

How have you left it with her?

Did your child see it?

Hope you're ok. I would be really angry and hurt.

DownNative · 30/04/2022 19:29

vodkaredbullgirl · 30/04/2022 18:58

HmmI would never swear at my mother.

Swearing at someone in the way the OP describes is not illegal.

But slapping someone certainly is and it really doesn't matter if they're related to you.

PrincessRamone · 30/04/2022 19:30

That sounds awful OP. What is your relationship with your parents like normally? How did you leave it with your mother - did you just leave straight away or was more said. How are you feeling now? I imagine you are quite shaken and emotionally raw.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 30/04/2022 19:30

Sod that, I wouldn't be doing anything for her again

Notanotherwindow · 30/04/2022 19:31

I wouldn't be seeing her again any time soon and she wouldn't be seeing my DC again. Not having them grow up thinking that shit is normal.

I wouldn't bother calling police tbh I would just let the fact that she will not see her grandchild again be the punishment.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 30/04/2022 19:35

I wouldn't see her for a while, until she apologised for sure.
There is absolutely no justification for her slapping you. You only said a swear word. I never swear at my mum but if I did, there's no way she'd raise her hand to me. And if she did, she wouldn't be seeing my child again anytime soon.