Mum slapped me

[Ohdearrr]

i don’t even know why I’m writing this but I just need to get it out and rant. I have my own home but I’ve been at my parents for a bit whilst they have been away watering their plants, putting their bins out etc. I left a bag of my DDs toy in their porch that they have at their house as I want to sort them out for charity, as some of them she has outgrown.

They came back today. My mum was annoyed that I’d left the bag of toys in the porch. She said ‘you could have sorted them instead of being sat on your arse’ I got really annoyed at this and said I’ve been fucking helping out putting your bins out etc. She then slapped me straight in the face saying don’t you swear at me in my face. I’m so cross. I’m 26 year old. Don’t even know what to think about this.

For goodness sake! You can hardly advise the OP to inform on her own Mum because of a trivial argument. The OP swore at her mother and Mother hit out. Older people might say the OP asked for it. Younger people might say slapping is unacceptable. The OP and her Mum must resolve this - I don't think police involvement would be helpful. Of

@SammyScrounge have you even read OP's updates?

Your dad sounds awful too OP. I really think you’re better off without them in your life. Your dad calls you names, makes fun of you for having mental health issues. Your mum makes sarcastic comments and it’s now escalated to be violent. They will make you feel worse about yourself. These aren’t the actions of loving parents that are worth having in your life.
Do you have a partner of any other support?

SammyScrounge would you be saying that if her father hit her? Or her husband? No, you wouldn't so why is it ok because it's a woman?
I'm not saying she SHOULD report her mother, but it's not a trivial argument as you put it.

@SammyScrounge I commented earlier but OP has since posted. OP is a grown woman with a child of her own. I'm not anti smacking however OP isn't a child so if you hold the view you do YOU must be prepared to know you may get a slap back or the police may be called.... you cannot slap your ADULT child when they become of age!

The fact that OPS mother has not said sorry either why? She crossed the mark. Tbh I think it seems OPS parents need to learn how to speak to their Daughter in a nicer tone... OPS mother definitely needs to be told if it happens again she will seek further action.

Calling your DD a freak is worse than swearing!

Slapping someone round the face is criminal assault.

Swearing is not a crime.

I'd be fuming and tempted to report her, but with the knowledge that the relationship may never be salvaged (although that could happen anyway).

Thank you everyone. I think I have definitely been naive and probably let a lot of stuff slide, thinking back. Definitely time to reevaluate things

Yep, your father emotionally abuses you, and your mother has now hit you in a temper. You can't risk your daughter falling foul of that, it's hard but it's time for them to reap what they sow OP.

I wouldn't speak to them again. Ever.

I would agree that you need to be very careful indeed how much contact your daughter has with them.

Has she heard your father calling you a freak and weird? If she has Ohdearrr , you need to think very carefully about contact. This isn't how you speak to other people and she shouldn't be hearing it at all, never mind from trusted adults, and to her own mother.

Come to think of it that's as bad as the slap long term. It's very destructive.

I'm sorry OP.

The bottom line is your DM should not have slapped you. And your DF should not make you feel like a weird freak.

If you're ever not sure if something is ok or not, ask yourself how you'd feel if they did that to your DD. There will be your answer.

The situation now is that your DM won't apologise and your DF says you're pathetic for making a fuss for your DM slapping you around the face. Neither of which is acceptable behaviour from loving caring parents.

I hope you go NC with them. It sounds like they don't treat you well at all and that will impact negatively on your self esteem.

Just read your updates. Hope you're okay @Ohdearrr. I would stay away. You do not deserve this. It seems like they both think they right because they're backing each other up. Stay away but don't wallow. Get out and about. Go for walks. Meet up with friends. Organise play dates. I know it's an awful situation but don't let it consume you.

I absolutely would swear at my mother tbh but I would never hit her. I wouldn't do a thing for her again or ever leave my child alone with her.

Two wrongs don't make a right but she swore at you first, you swore back, then she wallopped you. There's only one aggressor in this situation and it's not you I'm afraid.

It's definitely disappointing to say the least that she doesn't see that she's done wrong. While that I the situation and while the reason for her unpredictability isn't clear I'd give them a big body swerve. I wouldn't want my child around someone who's violent at all but especially someone who appears to have no control and no remorse.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you.

The Law doesn't exist to only protect people who 'don't ask for it' and that providing the ovum or sperm that became the person assaulted two and a half decades ago isn't a special case whereby the Laws of the Land do not apply.

It's not an age related line - it's a LAW related line. There is no special dispensation or amendment to the law that states that whilst assaulting any normal person is illegal, having a direct genetic relationship to said victim means no crime has been committed.

By that reckoning, having a genetic connection to the woman who blacked my eye in my late 30s means I would have been perfectly entitled to do the same to her - and when I found out later that she had also attacked my eldest daughter when she was about 10, I'd have been within my rights to ignore all common decency, give her a right belting and shove her across the room. Whilst I was at it, I'd have been able to return the things she did to me as a child, too. Which were far more extensive than a mere ultimately failed attempt to remove my right eyeball with the assistance of a gardening implement.

A long time ago I remember an ex boyfriend frighting with his dsf and punched him and knocked out a couple of teeth but it was a fight and dsf was bigger . I was horrified as my df and db wouldn't behave in that way

That’s awful. Give them a lot of space. How reliant on them are you? Do they provide childcare at all? I would cut ties for a couple of months at least

Older people might say the OP asked for it.

Bloody hell, what sort of 'older people' do you know who would think it's acceptable to slap their daughter, or anyone else come to that, across the face for any reason.

I'm 73, I think that puts me in the category of 'older people' I have never slapped anyone in my life.

More ageism.

100%. Imagine the OPs daughter witnessing their mother being treated like this by her grandparents! Just awful and humiliating

OP didn't swear at her mother, her mother accused her of sitting on her arse and OP said she fucking helping. The mother started being aggressive with the 'sat on your arse' language.

@Ohdearrr

This sounds awful

My mum would never do that and neither would I to my dc

Step back op and leave alone for a while to settle down.

Let them stew on it.

It just doesn’t compare