Mum slapped me

[Ohdearrr]

i don’t even know why I’m writing this but I just need to get it out and rant. I have my own home but I’ve been at my parents for a bit whilst they have been away watering their plants, putting their bins out etc. I left a bag of my DDs toy in their porch that they have at their house as I want to sort them out for charity, as some of them she has outgrown.

They came back today. My mum was annoyed that I’d left the bag of toys in the porch. She said ‘you could have sorted them instead of being sat on your arse’ I got really annoyed at this and said I’ve been fucking helping out putting your bins out etc. She then slapped me straight in the face saying don’t you swear at me in my face. I’m so cross. I’m 26 year old. Don’t even know what to think about this.

Shocked some people are even thinking this is remotely okay. And victim blaming. I can remember being slapped round the face as a teenager by my mum and I’ve never forgotten it. I would be distancing myself very much if it happened now. Sorry this has happened to you OP how upsetting x

Try reporting someone to the police for using the word “fuck”. Really not the same thing as hitting someone.

Are things strained at home at the moment? It seems like quite the escalation

Yep

I didn't say it was the same. I'm fairly certain I made that clear at the very start of my post.

She didn’t swear at her she swore in front of her which is a bit different. Are there people out there who don’t swear in front of their parents and visa versa? Maybe on MN I guess!

I can’t believe people are excusing this! Her mum hit her! It’s never ok.

Does your dad know @Ohdearrr ?

I hope you are okay.

Only in MN do posters get so irate !!

Swearing is not verbal assault in this context at all, if she’d said ‘I’m going to fuck you up’ or similar you’d have half a point and it’d still be weak but as such you don’t.

I'd have fucking belted her back.

Some of these comments are baffling; I can't believe so many posters are determined to downplay physical violence or blame the OP. "You both behaved badly" - what?? The mum was unnecessarily snarky after OP had just housesat for her, and when OP was understandably annoyed, she got a smack around the face.

Swearing at someone does not justify them hitting you. Ever.

My mum hit me on more than one occasion when I was a kid, once resulting in a broken finger. She never apologised for that and, in fact, when I brought it up as an adult she said, "maybe I'm not sorry".

If she hit me now, I'd never speak to her again and I'd make sure everyone knew why.

I think unfortunately I would lose her number. I wouldn't hang around a stranger who slapped me, and I'd not accept it from someone who's meant to love me.

Would you say the same to someone's whose husband slapped them during an argument?

My Dad used to hit me; the last time he did it, I was 20. He didn't see much of ds, as I wasn't willing to expose ds to what I had to put up with growing up. On one of the few occasions there was contact, he hit ds. He never saw him for any length of time again.

Refusing to expose your child to harm is not using the child as a weapon; it is protecting your child. The OP should consider protecting herself and her child.

She absolutely should not be around a kid, not sure why people are advocating for violence and exposing a kid to a woman who is violent, maybe get therapy.
would the pro-violence posters be fine with being slapped really hard round the face by anyone? Or only if the slap-er was a mummy?

Considering OP has been dealing with all their house crap whilst they've enjoyed themselves on holiday, I think the first words out of her mums mouth should have been 'thank you.' If you'd get fucked off with someone for leaving one bag of stuff after they've looked after your house all week, you must be really ungrateful.

Well of course not, as that would be inciting physical violence, ie slap across the face. I appreciate this is an emotional subject and I feel bad for the OP.

Some of you need your heads examined.
op is assaulted, but oh shock horror, op said a bad word in front of her mom?
they both behaved badly?
what is wrong with some of you??
if this had been her husband you’d all be shouting ‘ltb’ but as it’s op’s mother you’re blaming her.

op i would tell your dad if you haven’t and then i would go nc with her.
tell her where she can stick her house sitting duties.
you don’t need that around you and your child.
she doesn’t see you as an adult.

@SquirrelG is absolutely is. Educate yourself if you can’t understand it.

So if a random stranger slaps you, you wouldn't think it's assault or violence? What would you label it as?

It’s exactly assault….
she hit her. What do you think assault is?

op didn’t behaving badly, but nice bit of victim blaming.
so if op said her dp hit her, would you be saying all this to her too?

You've been assaulted. Sorry that happened to you.
One of two things. What age is your Mum? Could she have the start of dementia? My mum started getting angry outbursts 10yrs before we figured it out.
Second thing. Could it be she was really furious with your Dad, but took it out on you. If she's never done anything like that then I'd consider dementia and keep an eye on her behavior. You can't let your kids go over there unattended.

I'm not going to read the vitriol which the first few responses suggest will be how everyone else has responded. She assaulted you.

It's not ok.

Don't let your child go there.