Mum slapped me

[Ohdearrr]

i don’t even know why I’m writing this but I just need to get it out and rant. I have my own home but I’ve been at my parents for a bit whilst they have been away watering their plants, putting their bins out etc. I left a bag of my DDs toy in their porch that they have at their house as I want to sort them out for charity, as some of them she has outgrown.

They came back today. My mum was annoyed that I’d left the bag of toys in the porch. She said ‘you could have sorted them instead of being sat on your arse’ I got really annoyed at this and said I’ve been fucking helping out putting your bins out etc. She then slapped me straight in the face saying don’t you swear at me in my face. I’m so cross. I’m 26 year old. Don’t even know what to think about this.

Yes the mother shouldn’t have slapped her in the face, no excuse! But equally the daughter shouldn’t have sworn at her, a bit of an over reaction to toys being left in the porch in a bag! You had been looking after her house by putting bins out and watering the plants so she acted well over the top!

No, only one person behaved badly, and it wasn't OP.

Yes just today when a mother smacked a child and started a thread everyone was saying it's OK???

What the fuck is a slap then?
Can I come and slap you?

I would call the police
get her arrested !

That mother however felt terrible and full of guilt and shame. She also apologised to her kid.

No, no they did not.

Clearly some people on this thread are ok with downplaying a slap. Hm.

I can second this. My dad threw his wife across the bedroom and physically assaulted her. After a few years of knuckle-dragging and many more assaults, you'd think she'd call report him to the police, right? The NHS finally diagnosed him with early onset dementia, one of the rarer forms. When I saw him in the hospital once he'd deteriorated enough, he was turning the air blue. My dad never, ever swore, so his personality had completely changed and I was wondering if this sick man I was seeing was actually my dad. I left the hospital in tears. He then came to my wedding and asked "Who's the bride?". He was fully gone. Now he's bedbound in a carehome having lost the use of his legs. It's so easy to condemn someone when it could be that they are suffering with something.

They pretty much did when I had read it - it was widely different to the responses in this thread.

The victim blaming on this thread is quite something. I’m sorry OP.

The slap is not excusable. She wasn’t acting in self defence, she assaulted you in anger. You didn’t provoke her and even if you did, you did not deserve to be slapped.

Please ignore anyone who thinks the incident leading up to it is relevant. Not in this case at all.

Take care.

It’s shocking and even more so if it’s never happened before, something must be awry.

You need to go back and re read it then.

People seem very hung up on a bag of toys.. as if the OP brought round some crap and left it lying around.

It reads to me like as a further favour to her parents, the OP went through the toys her parents have bought DD that belong in their house, to weed out the ones to go to charity/bin etc, and hasn't yet taken the bag.

But let the double standards continue eh, if this were a man who had been rude and then slapped a woman, all hell would be breaking loose, but its a woman, so it must be downplayed, its something and nothing, you're as bad as each other.

Bullshit. No one should be hitting anyone.

@SquirrelG so if a random man came up to you on the street and slapped your face, you wouldn't feel you'd been assaulted? Or if your DH did so?

Blimey, never imagined that a bag of toys in a porch ready to carry out to the car would be such a problem for anyone!

OP, really sorry this happened.

It seems so odd that she greeted you by having a go at you and then lost it like that. Is she generally very affronted by swearing? It sounds as if she was taking something out on you.

I would ask her if everything is ok, while making it clear that she must never ever treat you like that again.

Also, swearing in a sentence is not the same as swearing AT someone. Swearing AT someone, to my mind is saying ‘you effing bitch’ for e.g.

If OP is twenty six then I'd say dementia is less likely.

@Ohdearrr
I was hit very hard and unreasonably by a parent-
all through childhood into late teens-
Usually a thrasher has “ Form”.
For your mother to have assaulted you like this out of the blue..
Is she “
All there?”
no cognitive decline??
It’s unusual to be hit like that out of the blue.

She needs to apologise, and explain herself.

overreation much to a swear word-if this was a man slapping someone the posts would be different

Haven’t RTFT but I would never go to their house again so the next time they go away they will either get someone else to water the plants, or come home to dead plants and stinky bins. Their problem.

Dementia?? OP is 26, that's the same age as my eldest daughter, and I'm 45. So I think we can assume OPs mum is forties/early fifties. Dementia is pretty unlikely! And she's happily going off on holiday so it doesn't really sound like she has dementia, does it.

Early onset?
If the mother is 60 odd, early onset might be possible..

Early and/or young onset dementia rarely starts with physical violence. There will be other signs and symptoms too. Even if it was dementia, OP does not need to feel vulnerable and at risk of being hurt. Low contact seems sensible for her own sanity and she processes this.

My mum is 55. She is all there and my dad said she was fine on holiday. Very out of character though.