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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mum slapped me

298 replies

Ohdearrr · 30/04/2022 18:55

i don’t even know why I’m writing this but I just need to get it out and rant. I have my own home but I’ve been at my parents for a bit whilst they have been away watering their plants, putting their bins out etc. I left a bag of my DDs toy in their porch that they have at their house as I want to sort them out for charity, as some of them she has outgrown.

They came back today. My mum was annoyed that I’d left the bag of toys in the porch. She said ‘you could have sorted them instead of being sat on your arse’ I got really annoyed at this and said I’ve been fucking helping out putting your bins out etc. She then slapped me straight in the face saying don’t you swear at me in my face. I’m so cross. I’m 26 year old. Don’t even know what to think about this.

OP posts:
PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 19:36

No one thinks it’s acceptable? But there is a difference between cutting contact with someone and reporting your own mother to the police! Funny how there’s a thread on here about a mother hitting her small child and posters falling over themselves to say she’s done nothing wrong yet and should go easy on herself yet on this thread a mother slaps an adult child and the child should call the police 🙄

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/04/2022 19:36

Campervangirl · 30/04/2022 19:19

I think slapping someone in the face is horrendous, I feel like it's designed to humiliate.
Any type of violence is obviously always wrong but face slapping is just on another level for me.
If anyone slapped me in the face I'd cut them off, no going back ever, dm or not.
Slapping you in the face for swearing is a complete over reaction but again on MN we have posters victim blaming, like it's OK to physically assault someone 🙄
She was rude and swore at you "sitting on your arse" you swore back, she set the tone then took it too another level.
You're a 26 Yr old getting slapped in the face by another woman, unbelievable.
What happened after she slapped you? 💐

I agree it is to humiliate. And it is disgusting. My mother whacked me with the back of a hand square on my nose when I was almost an adult. I have not forgotten.

Justkeepon · 30/04/2022 19:38

I would just let the fact that she will not see her grandchild again be the punishment.

I'm not saying what she done wasn't horrible BUT some of the responses on this are absolutely batshit crazy! The OP said this has never happened before, her mother has clearly lost her temper but fuck me save the police reports and using grandchildren as punishments - OP hopefully your mother feels horrendous and apologies, I wouldn't ever mind her house again either.

dworky · 30/04/2022 19:41

vodkaredbullgirl · 30/04/2022 18:58

HmmI would never swear at my mother.

But assaulting someone is fine?

Purplecatshopaholic · 30/04/2022 19:42

Ooft. I wouldn’t be helping her again, or indeed seeing her again, for quite some time (and never if she didn’t apologise).

RitaFaircloughsWig · 30/04/2022 19:45

Ohdearrr · 30/04/2022 19:00

Thanks but I never have before. It just came out. I was just really cross that she said I was sat down doing nothing when I’ve been helping them out all week whilst they have been away.

Watering a few plants?

Allywill · 30/04/2022 19:46

of course it was completely unacceptable to hit you. completely out of proportion. however i am not clear why you put a bag of old toys in her porch “to sort” - couldn’t you have done that at your house ? i wouldn’t be pleased to come home from holiday to a bag of someone else’s junk in my porch and would have questioned why it was there and what it was to do with me.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/04/2022 19:46

vodkaredbullgirl · 30/04/2022 18:58

HmmI would never swear at my mother.

And I would never, ever commit a violent criminal offence. Like that woman did against her own daughter.

NamechangeFML · 30/04/2022 19:46

My "DM" used to pull this sort of thing with me
and never say sorry. Until i was about your age and thought enouhs enough.
some parents cant fathom that they cannot control you anymore and dont like it.
i would have belted her back.
outrageous behaviour. So what if you argued back with her? She gets to slap you? Mental
hope shes sorry and meaning it.
but you dont need to put up with it

FuzzyPuffling · 30/04/2022 19:47

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ReformedWaywardTeen · 30/04/2022 19:48

Op that's disgusting and I'm sorry you were treated that way.
Please decline any further requests of help, I would also be wary of having your DC unsupervised around her.

One off or not she crossed a line and assaulted you over a bag of toys, after you'd left your own home to do her a favour.

I would personally report it to police. It's not OK.

Discovereads · 30/04/2022 19:48

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 19:36

No one thinks it’s acceptable? But there is a difference between cutting contact with someone and reporting your own mother to the police! Funny how there’s a thread on here about a mother hitting her small child and posters falling over themselves to say she’s done nothing wrong yet and should go easy on herself yet on this thread a mother slaps an adult child and the child should call the police 🙄

That thread was a completely different situation in that the OP instantly had remorse and was “sick with shame” for having lost her temper and hit her child. The child was also punching, kicking and hitting her when it happened. The OP was asking for help to not ever hit again.

In this situation and adult slapped her adult daughter entirely unprovoked and has no remorse and is not “sick with shame” or even apologising to her daughter.

NamechangeFML · 30/04/2022 19:48

*and it really doesnt bloody matter what you left where jeez. Some posters....

frazzledasarock · 30/04/2022 19:49

OP didn’t swear at her mother, she swore in response to her mothers rude derogatory comment about OP.

and I don’t think it is too refusing to ever help her out again, and I’d certainly not allow her to see my child. What if she decides something the child does is physical assault worthy?

nope, that’s the first and last time she’d be assaulting me and swearing at and insulting me for doing her a favour.

MeOldChimp · 30/04/2022 19:51

OP didn’t swear at her mother, she swore in response to her mothers rude derogatory comment about OP

^Agree

Sophie624 · 30/04/2022 19:51

If it was out of character which seems to be as you are shocked you need to get to the bottom of it. Is she well? Something going on in her life? What did your father say?

It seems she was stressed already when she got home and wanted to get it out on someone.

mbosnz · 30/04/2022 19:52

My MIL threatened to slap me. I warned her that if she did, I would slap her back. She slapped me, I slapped her back. She was quite taken aback.

My Mother said that if she thought I'd done something I'd been accused of, when I was thirteen, she would have felt she had to belt me. I said to her that I was very glad she hadn't, because she would have got it right back in fucking spades. She was quite taken aback.

Some people, by dint of their age or their relationship, feel they can act with impunity. It always comes as something of a surprise to them when they can't.

YouHaveYourFathersBreasts · 30/04/2022 19:52

dodobookends · 30/04/2022 19:08

That is not an excuse for physical violence.

Show quote history

Damn right.

Swearing is a grey area- doesn’t bother me that much but it does other people, and anyway, her mum was rude first it seems. Violence though, nah that’s not acceptable. You can’t argue a swear word is on par with hitting someone.

MyCatIsAJerk · 30/04/2022 19:52

Maydaysoonenough · 30/04/2022 19:01

Wl leave her to stew. Next holiday she can pay someone to mind her house.. And tell her your dd won't be visiting either.

Exactly.
I’d back way off for awhile and leave your mum to stew.
She was very much out of line — and childish.
Just don’t have any contact for a good long while until you’ve seen this for what it is: a childish outburst.
If they call and ask for favors, just laugh, hard as that may be. Just laugh and nothing more. Don’t give reasons or explanations, only laughter.

I’m really sorry your mum struck you - how unnecessary and harmful. ❤️

FuzzyPuffling · 30/04/2022 19:53

mbosnz · 30/04/2022 19:52

My MIL threatened to slap me. I warned her that if she did, I would slap her back. She slapped me, I slapped her back. She was quite taken aback.

My Mother said that if she thought I'd done something I'd been accused of, when I was thirteen, she would have felt she had to belt me. I said to her that I was very glad she hadn't, because she would have got it right back in fucking spades. She was quite taken aback.

Some people, by dint of their age or their relationship, feel they can act with impunity. It always comes as something of a surprise to them when they can't.

Good grief!

ldontWanna · 30/04/2022 19:54

It would be a long ,long time before I'd consider contact again. And only after an explanation and a genuine,heart felt apology.

Fuck that shit.

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 19:54

Discovereads · 30/04/2022 19:48

That thread was a completely different situation in that the OP instantly had remorse and was “sick with shame” for having lost her temper and hit her child. The child was also punching, kicking and hitting her when it happened. The OP was asking for help to not ever hit again.

In this situation and adult slapped her adult daughter entirely unprovoked and has no remorse and is not “sick with shame” or even apologising to her daughter.

Show quote history

Didn’t realise children can “provoke” adults into hitting them wow 😳

Greensleeves · 30/04/2022 19:55

If there's a mark, I'd call the police. Nobody, no matter the provocation (and a swear word at the age of 26 isn't provocation) has the right to hit someone else in the face.

Discovereads · 30/04/2022 19:56

Next time I come home from a business trip, I’m going to get home, shout at my DH for being on his lazy arse all day, then slap him across the face. When he calls the police, I’ll just tell them “the jet lag made me do it”

Of all the lame excuses I’ve heard for assault jet lag is a new one.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 30/04/2022 19:56

My oldest son is 27, would it be OK to slap him if he swore at? What about my 10 year old?

Can't imagine a time I'd ever slap them and my 27 year old has sworn at me before